


Beyond Category

by baeconandeggs, sxhbbh



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: 1920's time frame, Flirty bh, Fluff, Flustered cy, Happy Ending, Homophobia, Light Angst, M/M, Non-Graphic Smut, Romance, Strangers to Lovers, Sugar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:00:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 45,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24379108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baeconandeggs/pseuds/baeconandeggs, https://archiveofourown.org/users/sxhbbh/pseuds/sxhbbh
Summary: In the most roaring of all decades, between an illegal speakeasy and the back of a cramped car, a love that went beyond all categories was born.Or, in which Chanyeol can't get the new jazz singer at his favourite bar out of his mind.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 50
Kudos: 227
Collections: BAE2020





	Beyond Category

**Author's Note:**

> **Prompt:** BAE010  
>  **Disclaimer: baeconandeggs/the mods is/are not the author/s of this story. Authors will be credited and tagged after reveals.** The celebrities' names/images are merely borrowed and do not represent who the celebrities are in real life. No offense is intended towards them, their families or friends. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this fictional work. No copyright infringement is intended.
> 
> **Author's Note:** After countless hours of writing, doing unnecessary research and hitting my head on a wall, this fic is finally done. First of all, I really want to thank my prompter. Your prompt was perfect and it made me so excited that I knew it was the one straight away even though it was only the tenth prompt. I really hope I did it justice and I hope you like my story. Secondly, the biggest thank you to my amazing betas and friends, F and A, you have been amazing throughout this whole thing and I'm so so grateful for all your support. Your comments always made me so happy and it's partly thanks to you that I actually finished this fic. Thank you so much for putting up with all my weird ideas throughout this journey, for reassuring me and for helping me make this fic the best it could be. I love you both so much and I couldn't have done this without you! Also, thank you to the mods for being so patient, hardworking and helpful. Lastly, thank you so much to anyone who reads this fic. This fic is quite literally my child, and I really really hope you like it.
> 
> The jazz songs that I included in this fic:  
> Everybody Loves My Baby - Louis Armstrong  
> Ain't Misbehavin' - Fats Waller  
> Avalon - Al Jolson  
> Down Hearted Blues - Bessie Smith  
> In the Jailhouse Now - Jimmie Rodgers

New York, 1924

  
  
  


_ “Yeah, everybody loves my baby _

_ But my baby don't love nobody but me, nobody but me _

_ Oh, everybody wants my baby _

_ But my baby don't want nobody but me; that's plain to see” _

Chanyeol could hear the music even before he entered the bar. He couldn’t help but snort.  _ So much for keeping it low,  _ he thought. Still, he lowered his hat almost enough to cover his eyes and hurriedly walked towards the building. Only once inside the warm confines of the bar did his body relax. New York was getting too cold too soon. It felt like it was only yesterday that it was still summer, and yet, if the weather continued worsening at such a rate, it wouldn’t be too long until they would have to start cleaning the roads from all the snow.

The bar was crampy like always, filled with faces; familiar and unfamiliar. Some were sitting around tables, chatting with each other, while others were too busy dancing without a care in the world, too lost to notice anything but the music. And they were all happily sipping their drinks, as if the Prohibition was nothing but a joke. And perhaps, for many, it was. After all, it showed in the way these so-called hidden bars, the ones that were supposedly kept a secret from the government, weren’t even trying to keep it low, weren’t even trying to stay hidden. They played their music loud and all night long. They served the forbidden drinks to old and new customers alike, without as much as a second thought. They danced and sang and laughed; and they drank. When the city was fast asleep, they were wide awake. 

Chanyeol made his way to the bar’s counter, sitting on an empty stool and ordering his regular whiskey. He had been visiting that bar long enough to know that the guy behind the counter was new, and yet even he didn't blink an eye at Chanyeol’s order.  _ A joke indeed,  _ that was all the Prohibition was. 

_ Yes, she got a foam like Venus _

_ Honest, I ain't talking Greek _

_ No one can come between us _

_ She's my Sheba, I'm her Sheik _

The sound of the jazz singer’s voice interrupted his thoughts. That voice… something about it made Chanyeol stop in his tracks. He didn't know that voice.

Chanyeol had been a regular at this bar for over two years, and yet they had always had the same singer. He had even become friends with him at some point throughout those years. He could tell his voice apart in seconds, and he knew whoever was currently singing wasn't him. 

He turned around, just a tad too quickly, and looked at the band. Right there in the middle, sitting in front of a piano and performing was a man Chanyeol had never seen before. At first glance he looked young, probably in his twenties, with dark brown hair and eyes.

His hair wasn't what caught Chanyeol’s attention though. It was something about his voice, something about… the way he performed? 

Chanyeol took pride in having seen various jazz singers in his life. He always liked a good show, but he had never before seen anyone perform quite like this singer. Jazz was the most popular genre of music at the time, and most singers always tried to put on a show when they performed. It was part of why people loved it so much.

And yet, this singer wasn't anything like that. He wasn't theatrical in the way he sang, he wasn't asking for the audience’s attention, wasn't trying to entertain them. No, he was barely even acknowledging their presence, as he sang with his eyes closed.

He wasn't singing for the audience, he was singing for himself.

Chanyeol had never seen a performance quite like this one.

“Everything alright with your drink?” the new bartender asked, shaking Chanyeol out of his thoughts and making him turn to face the man in confusion.

“Huh?” the guy pointed to his glass, and Chanyeol realised he hadn’t even touched it yet. “Oh, yeah. Everything’s fine.” he smiled politely, in a way that he hoped was convincing, and took a sip of his drink. 

He couldn't help it when his eyes tried to find the singer again. He was rather handsome, if Chanyeol dared say so. Then again he didn't. What was he even thinking?

“Is he new?” he found himself asking as he looked at the bartender again, who only shrugged in response.

“Sorry man, I wouldn't know. It’s my first day here.”  _ Right.  _ How foolish of him to ask the  _ new  _ bartender.

He had to be new anyways. The one time the previous singer had gotten sick and had to miss a day, the band had performed on their own. Why would they bring a substitute this time?

He had really liked the last singer, but he wasn't really complaining just yet. Something about the new one had caught his attention. He didn't know what just yet, but he wouldn't try to figure it out either. 

All he knew was that this guy had a particularly nice voice that made him feel strangely warm all over, and he didn't really mind it.

_ Yes, everybody loves my baby _

_ But my baby, nobody but me _

_ Yeah, nobody but me _

As the song came to an end, he couldn't help but wonder.

Just who was this guy?

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“-yeol? Chanyeol!” a hard smack at the back of his head shook him back to reality.

“Ah- Jongdae, what the fuck?” he turned to look at his coworker and best friend, eyes blown wide open in an almost comical way. He was ready to complain, but the look of annoyance in his friend’s eyes stopped him in his tracks. 

“I’ve been trying to get your attention for the past five minutes, but you just kept on staring at the wall like nothing was happening!” Jongdae looked at him exasperatedly, expecting some sort of response.

“Sorry, I.. got distracted.” was all Chanyeol managed to say, and Jongdae just sighed. 

“You’ve been like this all morning. Just what is so important that you can’t even hear me talking to you?” He asked, but he had already given up. He wasn't going to get any other answer from his friend and he knew that.

“Nothing in particular.” Chanyeol shrugged.

He knew that Jongdae didn't believe him, but what was he supposed to say?  _ I’m sorry I wasn't listening to you but I was too busy thinking about a jazz singer? I haven't been able to focus at work all day because there’s a new singer at my favourite bar and I can’t stop thinking about him? A stranger has invaded my mind and occupied my thoughts to the point that I couldn’t even sleep last night?  _ No, no and no. Jongdae was his best friend, but he couldn’t possibly tell him any of that.

And his friend got that. “Anyways, I was just telling you that it’s my break and I’ll go get something to eat, is there anything you need?”

“No, I’m fine.” he mumbled, watching as his friend went to put on his coat and hat. 

“Oh also, they brought us the new textbooks. I’ve left half of them on your top shelf.” He said, grabbing his bag, and with that, he was out the door. Chanyeol stood up from his chair and walked towards his shelf to take a look at the new textbooks. Taking one from the shelf, he held it, evaluating it.  _ At least they got the ones I asked for,  _ he thought as he flipped through the pages. Sitting back on his chair, he put the new textbook on his desk and opened it. It was high time he started working after wasting most of his morning being “distracted”.

But as he looked at the blank textbook in front of him, he was reminded that the new jazz singer wasn't the only thing keeping him from doing his job. At a time like this, many people would have wanted to be in his place, to have a job like his. Electronics companies were the future, and a job at one of them was what everyone saw as success. It didn't even matter if you were an important person or a plain worker, companies meant success, and everyone wanted to work in one. Now, having a father that owns a company and a secure job in one from the day you were born; that was the dream.

And Chanyeol knew that. He knew that more than well, but it didn't make him dislike his job any less. Being a bookkeeper at his father's company had never been something he wanted. Working at his father's company in general had never been something he wanted. And yet, he had never had another option. His future was set from the moment he was born, and who was he to go against his father's words? He would be foolish not to do a job that was literally offered to him, that was secure and that paid him more than well. And he knew that.

At least he didn't completely hate his position. Sure, being a bookkeeper was rather dull and keeping all of the company's financial records up to date wasn't what he would call his dream job, but even within the jobs in his father's company, it could have been worse. He could be working at the factory, spending ungodly hours in those horrible conditions, but his father wouldn't allow that. He could be in a higher position, someone important in the company with many responsibilities like his brother, but he himself wouldn't allow that. So, a bookkeeper it was. The perfect combination of not too much work and not too many responsibilities.

And with that thought in mind, he took a notebook and a pen from his bag to start passing things to the new textbook. Accidentally dropping his pen, he bent down to pick it up when-

“Oh and Chanyeol!” Jongdae barged in out of nowhere, making Chanyeol hit his head on the underside of his desk.

“Jesus, Jongdae, what the fuck?” he groaned as he slowly got up from under his desk, rubbing his throbbing head and glaring at his friend who just winced at the pain he could imagine Chanyeol was in.

“Sorry man, I just remembered something that I forgot to tell you before and I figured it couldn't wait until after my lunch break.” he said a bit reluctantly, well aware of the way his next words would affect Chanyeol's already bothered state.

“So? What is so important that you cut your precious lunch break in half to tell me?” he asked, getting more annoyed by the second.

“Yourbrotheriscoming.” Jongdae said so fast that even he didn't understand himself.

“What?”

A pause.  _ Oh lord, here it goes. _ “I said, your brother is coming this afternoon to get the records of the month. Okay. Bye!” he said and in a second he was gone, not wanting to be there when Chanyeol processed his words.

At least this time Chanyeol hit his head on his desk, it was voluntary.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The talk with his brother went surprisingly bad. He had thought that nothing could surprise him anymore when it came to his beloved brother, but he was proven wrong once again. Those venomous words masked by the pretentiously sweet tone would never fail to surprise him; and affect him. He just couldn't believe how someone could be so utterly cruel to his own family.

Gathering his things and closing off the office for the night, he felt uneasy. He didn't want to go home yet. The thought and only of being alone in the four walls of his house, in complete isolation and nothing but time to overthink everything his brother had told him; it was terrifying. He couldn't go home; not yet. He just needed to breathe for a second.

Before he knew it, he was already facing the exterior of his regular bar. A drink would have to help. He hadn’t forgotten about what was waiting for him inside, but his illogical fear of the new jazz singer couldn't possibly compare to his fear of his brother’s words and the effect they had on him when he let them.

Entering the bar, the sudden warmth and the sound of the music welcomed him. Before even making one step, he turned towards the band and, just as he had expected,  _ he _ was there again. Had his day so far been different, he would have already felt intimidated by the singer’s presence. But right now, he was only slightly shocked by how the guy’s presence had only taken a mere second to make every other thought in his head dissipate. And in any other case, Chanyeol would have found that scary, but right now, he could only feel relief.

Just like any other time, he made his way to his regular seat at the bar. Ordering his usual whiskey, and placing his hat on the counter. His eyes were quick to find the singer, and he found himself unable to look away once again.

_ No one to talk with _

_ All by myself _

_ No one to walk with _

_ But I'm happy on the shelf _

_ Ain't misbehavin' _

_ I'm savin' my love for you _

His voice resounded in the crowded room as his fingers roamed over the piano. Chanyeol had to admit the singer was truly gifted. That was probably why he caught his attention the way he did, why Chanyeol couldn't focus on anything but him; right? He wasn't sure, but he would rather settle with that than think any further into things.

As if in a trance, he only realised he had finished his drink when instead of a sip of whiskey he took a sip of air. He had barely even felt that first one, and after the events of the day he would definitely need some more. After ordering a second, his attention turned back to the one person it had been on all night. However, something seemed to be going terribly wrong with his eyes, because the moment they fell on  _ him,  _ the singer was looking right back at him.  _ Were his eyes playing tricks at him? Was he already drunk? He had only had one glass though.  _ And in a mere second, the eye contact was gone, like it had never been there to begin with. Maybe it was all just a trick of his eyes. Maybe the singer was just looking at his general direction. Maybe he just really needed some rest. But Chanyeol was frozen.

It took a few more seconds but eventually Chanyeol melted out of his frozen state and went back to his casual staring; partly to see if the singer would look at him again, and partly because he had been doing that all night anyways.

About an hour later and right when Chanyeol was getting ready to leave, it happened again. However, that time it wasn't as short as the first. And throughout it all, there was only one thing in Chanyeol’s panicked mind. 

_ Why isn't he looking away?  _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Did you hear about Moonshine?” no answer. “Chanyeol!” a smack.

“I was listening, I promise!” Chanyeol quickly replied, hands rising in an attempt to protect himself. 

“No you weren’t.” Jongdae said, waiting for some sort of reply but getting none. A sigh. “You keep on daydreaming. I’m starting to get worried here.”

Chanyeol just sighed. “What is it that you wanted Jongdae?”

“Oh, right! I was asking if you heard about what happened with Moonshine.”

“About what?” Chanyeol asked, like he could actually fool Jongdae.

“Oh, come on Chanyeol. You and I both know you spend your nights in speakeasies too. Stop playing the saint, it’s only us in here”

“Well yes but, unlike you, I have something called  _ taste _ .” he replied with a scoff. “Who even goes to Moonshine? Their booze is  _ terrible _ .” he said with a significant amount of distaste, remembering the dreadful memory of his first and only time going there. He would never get why Jongdae liked that place.

“Anyways, luckily for you, I won't be forcing you to go there again any time soon.”

“And why is that?” Chanyeol asked, suddenly ever so slightly interested. Jongdae wasn't exactly known for changing his favourites, after all.

“The cops caught them.” and suddenly, Jongdae had his full attention.

“ _ Really? _ ”

“Yes. One of them walked in disguised as a regular person and ordered liquor and, of course, they gave him some right away.” 

“What fools!” Chanyeol exclaimed, almost amused at the idiocy of it all.

“They’d all have done the same though. Speakeasies these days are getting way too brave, it was a matter of time one got caught.” Jongdae reasoned; and he was right. They were getting far too courageous but, although it was a risk, it was part of the fun of it all. 

“Did they catch any other one?” he asked, suddenly a tad bit worried.

“No, your beloved Paranoia is just fine, don’t you worry.” and Chanyeol probably got a bit more relieved than he should have. “Everyone is gonna have to be more careful for the next few weeks, though. Most will keep working, but they’ll probably cut the booze for a bit.”

“Makes sense.” was all Chanyeol could say, partly bumped about the drinks yet mostly relieved his favourite bar was still there. He could be a little more careful if it meant keeping his favourite place intact. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


He hadn’t exactly weighed his options though, and suddenly being careful seemed way harder than he had initially thought. Bars were made for illegal booze and music, so what exactly was he supposed to order;  _ lemonade?  _ Still, he’d much rather pay for plain water than go back home and do nothing, so the bar it was.

Walking inside, the first thing he noticed was the absence of something he refused to admit he had been looking forward to hearing; a certain voice. Turning to look at the small stage, he was met with an empty piano stool. The band was still playing, but the singer was nowhere to be seen. 

Chanyeol was definitely not disappointed - not at all. He was probably just on his break. They wouldn’t leave the bar without a singer for the night;  _ right? _

“What can I get you?” the guy behind the bar asked, and Chanyeol answered the first thing that came to his mind.

“Coffee.” he said, only to be reminded just a second later that he hated coffee.  _ Lord, what a fool.  _ “Could you put some sugar in as well?” he tried, in a weak attempt to fix the mess he had created for himself.

“Sure, a teaspoon?” the bartender asked, and Chanyeol wanted to bury himself in the ground when he answered with a “Make it four.”

“Someone has a sweet tooth.” he heard from beside him, and at the very least his jaw had the decency not to completely fail him and drop the moment he saw just who the voice belonged to. Because the moment he turned around, he was met with none other than the new jazz singer - also known as the cause of his excessive daydreaming and Jongdae’s endless nagging.

“S-Sorry, what?” he spluttered, and he didn't need a mirror to know how red he had gotten.

“Just saying, four teaspoons of sugar is  _ a lot. _ ” he added, and Chanyeol could barely comprehend what was happening.

“I-It’s to cover the taste of the coffee.” he explained, only realising what he had said after he had said it. He had never felt more stupid, and the guy had the nerve to  _ laugh. _

“Why would you get coffee if you don't like how it tastes?” he asked, a laugh still lingering in his mouth, and Chanyeol had no idea how to respond to that. All he could do was look back and forth between  _ him  _ and the bartender who had just brought his - disgusting, if he might add - coffee.

The singer turned to the bartender to order whatever was his “regular”, and then turned back to Chanyeol with a scoff. “Don’t tell me you’re worried because of what happened the other day.” he said, and Chanyeol just stared at him, incredulous.

“And you aren’t?” 

“Clearly not.” he replied with a smirk as he took hold of the glass the bartender had just left in front of him and showed it to Chanyeol. It seemed like vodka, and although it wasn't Chanyeol’s favourite, he would take that over his stupid coffee at any time. Still, he had a clear understanding of why he was currently stuck with that cup of coffee, unlike the guy in front of him.

“But what if they caught this place too? Shouldn't we be more careful for a while? Especially you - I mean, since you work here?”

“Right as you said, I work here. If they were to ever find this place, working in it would be a way bigger problem than drinking its booze, don't you think?” he said with a smile that didn't seem worried at all, and then laughed. “And  _ please _ , Moonshine got caught because it was run by foolish brats with no sense of logic; Paranoia is better than  _ that _ .” 

Now, Chanyeol couldn't help but agree with that. 

“Besides,” he added, “ they did everyone a favour by closing that mess down. It was at the very best a disgrace of a speakeasy, and I still believe that booze had some sort of poison in it.” he said, eyes dead serious, and Chanyeol had to laugh. He had never liked that place either, but the singer seemed very passionate about his hatred for it.

“Jongdae would surely disagree.” he muttered, almost to himself, but of course he heard him.

“Jongdae?” he asked, casual but interested.

“My coworker, he’s quite the fan.” Chanyeol replied and,  _ oh lord, were they really having a conversation right now? _

“Well, not to offend your friend, but he doesn't seem to have much of what I would call taste.” he said, not apologetic whatsoever and Chanyeol found it amusing how he wasn't the one calling Jongdae tasteless for once.

“So you’d never work there?” he asked, finding the singer’s hatred for that bar more than entertaining.

“Of course not. Do I seem like someone who’d stoop that low?” the singer exclaimed, and he actually looked  _ offended _ .

“It’s one of the most popular places, though.” Chanyeol reasoned, wanting to push it even more.

“Popularity does not equal quality.” the guy stated as though it was a fact, with his head held high, and Chanyeol was trying his best not to laugh.

“Even if they gave you all the money in the world?” 

“Hey! Singing isn't for the money, it’s my art!” he exclaimed, looking so offended that Chanyeol couldn't help it when he laughed.

“Is that so?”

“Yes.” the singer said, leaving no room for further pushing, trying his best to look annoyed but eventually breaking character with a snort. “But if you must know, yes, of course I would work there if they gave me all the money in the world. I’m an artist not a fool.”

“So much for singing not being for the money.”

“Whatever you say, sugar man, my art is calling me.” he said as he stood up, giving him one last grin before turning around and getting back to the stage. And for a second, Chanyeol forgot how to breathe.

  
  
  


To say he went home and slept peacefully that night would have been a lie. All night long, for hours upon hours, he was rolling around in bed, trying to empty his head of all thoughts and finally let sleep take him, but a certain singer wouldn’t leave his mind. A certain singer with his head constantly held high and a confident smile on his lips. A certain singer that seemed like the type to have an opinion about everything. A certain singer who had actually  _ spoken to him. _

Chanyeol had spent a considerable amount of time staring at him singing, and an even bigger amount of time thinking about him. But it had been just that - staring and then denying it - nothing more. He had had no intention of actually approaching the singer, of actually  _ talking  _ to him. And yet, it happened; and Chanyeol couldn't stop thinking about it. 

He could already imagine Jongdae’s questions that would come tomorrow. Why did he look like he hadn’t slept all night? Why was he more lost in his thoughts than ever? Why was he not telling him everything, weren’t they friends? Chanyeol could hear it, and he was already getting a headache from it. 

Still, the thoughts of the singer weren’t any better. He had no reason to waste his sleep hours like that. They had only  _ talked.  _ Chanyeol talked to people all the time; they had never taken away his sleep though. He wasn't going to let this man be any different. It was just a talk. He could totally stop thinking about it and sleep. He could totally look normal when he’d meet Jongdae tomorrow.  _ Right? _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Wrong. He barely got three hours of sleep and, of course, Jongdae could read him like an open book from the moment he had stepped inside their office. Chanyeol’s act did little to distract Jongdae from the way his mind was constantly drifting elsewhere, and the dark circles under his eyes did nothing to hide the reddening of his cheeks from every one of Jongdae’s scandalous assumptions about just what had kept Chanyeol up all night. Of course, he wasn't even close to being right, but that didn't make it any less embarrassing for Chanyeol.

The fact that they had one of the most stressful days at work on that very day only served to make things worse. It was the end of the month and his father had asked for the company’s statistics for the entirety of it. Except, he had asked for them an entire week earlier than he normally did, and both Chanyeol and Jongdae had to stay longer to get everything done.

By the time his shift ended and he could finally leave, he had thought of quitting his job a concerning amount of times.

Getting in his car, he didn't even realise he was heading to the bar until he had already skipped the turn to his house. What was he doing? It wasn't even dark outside, no bar would be open at that time. The madness of that day had truly taken its toll on him. Taking the next turn, he headed back to his house. This whole habit of going to the bar every day wasn't particularly good for him, it seemed.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


And yet, the bar was exactly where he found himself a few hours later. Sure, that place had been his favourite for a while now, but he didn't use to go there every single day. He knew the reason his visits had grown in frequency had a little something to do with a certain singer; not admitting it was just how Chanyeol was choosing to go on with his days.

Entering the warmth of the bar felt relieving, and the smell of booze that filled the air was a little too familiar. Walking towards the bar, the engulfing sound of music mixed with chatter took over his brain. It was almost comforting, the mind-numbing feeling it gave him. It didn't let him think too much and it somehow forced him to relax. And perhaps Chanyeol needed that.

And then he heard  _ his  _ voice, and, in a way, that was relieving too.  _ His  _ voice, the one that always made him think and think and think; tonight it was relieving. Taking a seat, he put his hat on the counter and turned to look at the singer. He was playing his piano like usual, singing with his eyes closed, like Chanyeol had noticed he often did. 

_ Every morn' my memories stray _

_ Across the sea where flying fishes play _

_ And as the night is falling _

_ I find myself recalling _

_ That blissful all-enthralling day _

Chanyeol recognised the song instantly, it was his favourite. Something about that song was different than any other. The music, the melody, the lyrics; everything about that song was simply  _ grand.  _ Every single time he had heard anyone perform it, it had been quite the experience. That song - it was bigger than the world.

And yet, the singer currently on stage, the singer he had been seeing for days now,  _ his  _ singer, was performing it in a way that was different from any other. He sang with less character and more soul - Chanyeol had noticed that from the first moment he ever saw him perform. And yet, the song didn't have any less impact than it usually did. It was a completely different kind of feeling, in a way that was completely  _ his,  _ but it was just as grand as it had always been. The singer was telling a story, not with his mannerisms but with his voice, his closed eyes, and the place they were taking Chanyeol.

_ I found my love in Avalon _

_ Beside the bay _

_ I left my love in Avalon _

_ And I sailed away _

The rest of the people probably hadn’t even noticed, but Chanyeol couldn't stop staring at the singer. 

In all his staring, he didn't even notice the glass served to him. At a light tap on his shoulder from who turned out to be the bartender, he turned to the counter, only to be met with a glass of what looked suspiciously enough like alcohol. Chanyeol had really thought that they would try to keep it low with the booze, but he had obviously been wrong. Then again, he didn't even remember ordering, so why was the man on the other side of the counter looking at him so expectantly? 

“Your drink.” he said, and could Chanyeol really have ordered and then forgotten about it?

“I’m… quite certain I did not order this.” he mumbled, and the man seemed to finally understand.

“Oh I know you didn't. He did.” he said, motioning with his head to the stage, and when Chanyeol turned to look back in that direction, he was met with a pair of eyes staring back at him. The song was coming to an end and, unlike before, the singer’s eyes were now open and looking right at Chanyeol. Confused, Chanyeol glanced at the drink next to him and then back at the stage, and this time the singer dared to smile at him. Had he… _ had he bought Chanyeol a drink? _

_ I dream of her in Avalon _

_ From dusk till dawn _

_ So I think I'll travel on _

_ To Avalon _

The man went back singing as the song came to an end, and all Chanyeol could do was chug the entire glass of the whiskey he hadn’t ordered in a failed attempt to keep himself at the minimum state of flustered.  _ How did he even know whiskey was his favourite? _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The night went on in a sort of haze. Downing a whole glass of whiskey hadn’t been the brightest idea and it was quickly taking its toll on him. At least he was the one to buy the second glass at the time he felt decent again.

Although the rest of his night at the bar was free of surprises, it wasn’t exactly uneventful. He had caught the singer looking at him a few too many times for it to be a coincidence or a creation of his imagination, and it was probably wishful thinking but he could bet he wasn't looking at anyone else like that. And really, he would know; his eyes hadn’t left the singer all night long.

In the haze of light drunkenness - not quite zozzled yet clearly not sober either - he felt nice. For once, he wasn't thinking about what he was doing, what things meant, what he was feeling. He was just sitting there, slightly moving to the music, sipping his drink and allowing his face to redden at what this state was allowing him to accept was the singer’s stares.

It was nice. He felt nice, and only nice. He was just at that perfect point between sober and drunk; at the ultimate high. A little more booze and he would tip over the edge and reach the point of feeling sick, so water would have to do for the rest of the night.

Sipping his umpteenth glass of water, he watched as the singer stood up from his seat next to the piano and headed towards some room at the back of the bar for staff. Confused, he turned to the bartender.

“Where did he go?” he asked, not even bothering to explain who he meant, but the guy seemed to understand.

“To get his stuff from the personel’s room. His shift is over.” he said like it was obvious, and Chanyeol’s expression must have been funny to watch. The entire night had gone by in a daze, and he was only then starting to sober up. He hadn’t noticed how late the time had gotten, only then realising that the place was far less crowded than it had been last time he had checked.

_ Oh lord, just how late was it?  _ He had never before stayed at a bar for so long that the actual  _ singer  _ left before him. Drinking the rest of his water and paying for whatever he had drunk that night, he took his hat and quickly headed out. He had  _ work  _ tomorrow, what had he been thinking? 

Starting to walk fast, he didn't even make it ten steps before halting.

“Oi, sugar man!” a voice behind him exclaimed, and he would’ve known who it belonged to even if he was hearing it through that phone they had at the company building - and he couldn't even tell his own voice apart through that thing. He turned around and his eyes fell on the singer, just a few steps behind him, currently calling out to him. “What’s the hurry?” 

Chanyeol only stuttered in his step a little bit. 

He stopped, letting the man catch up to him while he tried to think of something that would sound smarter than  _ I drank too much and forgot to leave _ . And yet, all he managed was “Lost track of time”. The moment the singer reached him he started walking again, needing an excuse to look at anything  _ but  _ him in order to at least get the rest of his sentence out. “And then remembered I have work tomorrow and I need sleep to do that so, I’d better make it home as quickly as possible, you know?” he said, hoping that would be the end of their conversation. He was far too drunk and far too tired to trust whatever would come out of his mouth, and he had no plans of embarrassing himself in front of the singer _. _

But of course, when did anyone ever listen to his prayers? “Right. And what’d you say your job was again?” the singer asked, now full-on walking with him. And they were discussing jobs. Just how better could this get?

“I uhm, work as a bookkeeper at this company..” 

“Ohh, making big money then, aren’t you?” he asked, and it wasn't the first nor would it be the last time he heard that question. Perhaps usually it was phrased in a more elegant way, but it was the same question nonetheless. 

“Working at a company on its own isn't enough to earn you the big money. Not everyone there is of the same...  _ value,  _ but, yeah, I can't say I struggle with it.” he said, and the man looked contemplative.

“If you’re not struggling, then I’d say that's big money very well. That's how I see it, at least.” he shrugged and, perhaps he was right. Chanyeol had never quite thought about it that way before. “This your turn?” the man spoke up once more, getting Chanyeol out of his sudden thoughts. It took him a good second to realise the singer was talking about the road.

“Yeah.” he answered absentmindedly, not even actually thinking about it as they took that turn and continued walking.

The man was quick to speak up again. “Anyhoo, how’s that friend of yours doing? Must be hard for him… nights without his abomination of a favourite bar.” At that, Chanyeol couldn't help but chuckle. He had only spoken to this man twice, and yet his ability to sneak a snarky remark about his despised bar in every conversation was almost admirable. 

He most certainly wasn't complaining though. Opportunities to have a good laugh at his friend and coworker weren’t rare, but he appreciated each and every one of them. “I wouldn’t say he’s exactly struggling either. He misses the booze but I’m sure he’s having plenty of fun with his wife at home.”

“His favourite bar is Moonshine  _ and  _ he’s married? Poor pal, fate did him dirty.” he exclaimed, and he almost looked  _ scandalized.  _ “Not even tasteless people deserve that.” he added dramatically and Chanyeol just stared at him.

“You speak of marriage as if it’s some sort of punishment.” he said with an airy laugh and the man just shrugged.

“In a way, it sure seems like one. I mean, you know what they say about married couples. They have a whole lot of fun, just not with each other. Now, I don't quite fancy that way of living.”

Chanyeol just laughed, disbelieving yet intrigued; not necessarily disagreeing. “Do you really believe that?” he asked, and it took the other a little longer to reply this time. 

Chanyeol took in his surroundings, noticing the unfamiliar streets they were walking at, realising he had no clue where they were going. But then the man spoke up again, and his previous thoughts went flying out the window.

“Well, I suppose there are exceptions to every rule but… I’d rather not have to count on an exception, you know?” he said, this time more serious than before, and Chanyeol would be lying if he said it didn't get him thinking.

“I’ve met her before and, from that and everything Jongdae’s told me, I’d say she’s a nice girl. But I get what you mean… Though, from the way you talk about marriage it almost seems like you  _ are _ married.” he said with a laugh, half joking half serious, the sudden thought making him feel an odd kind of uncomfortable.

The man’s rapidly widening eyes were enough to reassure him though, followed by an exclamation. “ _ Me? Married?  _ Oh no, not married at all, sugar. And certainly not planning on getting married at any time in the near or further future either.” he laughed exasperatedly, and Chanyeol did too, something akin to relief taking over him, although he wasn't going to try and explain why. 

Just like he was most certainly  _ not  _ going to even think of the way the man had just called him. Ignore your problems until they go away, isn't that what everyone says? 

“You see, I don't quite think those types of things are for me.” the singer added at Chanyeol’s lack of a response, glancing at him almost expectantly, for a reason Chanyeol wouldn’t try to understand.

It got him thinking, though. The singer’s view on marriage wasn't necessarily wrong and, surprisingly, it wasn't too far from Chanyeol’s own. He himself had never thought of marriage as something he craved. Rather, to him it was something he dreaded, something that was expected of him yet something that only made him uncomfortable. In a way, he related to what the singer was saying a lot, for the first time feeling like he wasn't the only one who felt that way, like he wasn't wrong.

“And you? Have you got any girl waiting for you at home?” the singer broke the silence once again, all seriousness now gone. And yet, for the first time that night, Chanyeol was genuinely taken aback by the question.  _ A… a girl? _

“O-Oh no, I…” he mentally cursed himself for stuttering.  _ What was he, a middle schooler?  _ “I’m not really seeing anyone at the moment.” he said, and it came out quieter than he had intended it to.

The other seemed to hear him just fine, though. “Any girl that you fancy then?” he continued, teasing as ever, and Chanyeol’s mood was strangely ruined by all these girl questions.

“Not really…” he muttered, wanting the topic to change as quickly as it had come up.

“I suppose that makes two of us then.” the singer said, and when Chanyeol turned to look at him, he was staring at the road ahead, a sweet smile lingering on his face. And, for a second, Chanyeol forgot how to breathe. 

“I supposed it does.” he answered back, almost in a whisper, and if he hadn’t turned his eyes to the ground, he would have noticed the way the singer’s smile grew just a tad bit bigger.

They fell into a comfortable silence after that, with nothing but the sound of the night filling their ears. It was cold and dark but it was… nice. Chanyeol wasn't the type to talk much and that usually made conversations with new people rather awkward, but in that moment, he didn't feel awkward at all. It just felt easy, and he couldn't say he didn't like that.

The nice feeling was cut short though, when the singer suddenly came to a halt.

“So this is where our paths separate then.” he said, and Chanyeol just looked at him, confused. “I take the turn here.” he explained, and motioned with his body towards the road opposite to the one Chanyeol had started heading to. 

“Oh, right.” was all Chanyeol replied, and he could feel his whole face heating up. The singer was just looking at him with that smile that never seemed to leave his lips, and Chanyeol was trying very hard not to think further into the way that smile made him feel. “Goodnight.” he said, trying to break the silence that was bringing him all sorts of weird thoughts.

“Sweet dreams sugar.” the singer said back and Chanyeol’s head shot up so fast he almost broke his neck. He saw the singer give him one last smile before he turned around to head to his house. And really, after  _ that _ , no one could blame Chanyeol for the way his heart had quite literally stopped beating.  _ Sugar.  _ He had tried to act like he hadn’t heard it the first time but,  _ was this going to become a regular thing now?  _ Because Chanyeol didn't remember signing any paper that said his heart was in a good enough condition to survive that.

Collecting himself - or, well, trying to - he started to turn to leave too, but he was stopped in his tracks once again.

“Wait!” he heard the singer exclaim, and when Chanyeol turned to his direction, he saw him heading back towards himself. “I just realised. I don't seem to have caught your name yet. Would you mind-”

“It’s Chanyeol.” Chanyeol replied just a bit too quickly, and before he got to overthink that too the singer was giving him his hand to shake. Chanyeol certainly did not stare at the outstretched hand more than normal before taking it; of course not.

“Baekhyun.” the singer,  _ Baekhyun _ , said with another one of those grins of his. “Wouldn’t make much sense for me to say nice to meet you now, would it?” he chuckled, and all Chanyeol could do was stare.

“No, not quite.” he replied, sounding just a tad more breathless than he had intended to.

“Well, it still has been quite nice.” he said, smile sweet as ever, and Chanyeol was almost getting used to not breathing. “Have a good night then, Chanyeol.” he added, turning around to leave once again, probably for good this time, not even giving Chanyeol a chance to reply. 

“Night.” he still said, just a beat later, but Baekhyun probably hadn’t heard him anyways.

Turning the opposite way, he started walking again. Without the presence of the singer to distract him anymore though, he finally realised:  _ this wasn't the way to his house.  _ In fact, it was farther from his house than the bar was. And he had no idea why he had even gotten there in the first place. He didn't even know where he was. 

And to make everything even better, he suddenly remembered one more thing. He hadn’t been supposed to walk back home in the first place. He had driven to the bar with his car - which was probably still parked where he had left it.  _ Lord,  _ just how could he have been so foolish?

Turning back around ever so discreetly and making sure that Baekhyun was nowhere to be seen he started heading back towards the bar. About twenty minutes later, he was finally back outside of the pub, and his car had never seemed more welcoming before. He had to admit, the walk back without Baekhyun was nowhere near as nice as the one with him. He was cold, tired, and he was starting to get a headache from all the booze he had consumed not too long ago. 

Only when he finally got home, changed his clothes and lay on his bed did he feel like he could finally rest. But of course, he couldn't. Once again, he found himself unable to sleep. He was so tired and yet his mind was filled with thoughts about a certain singer named Baekhyun, replaying the night’s events again and again. 

Were they friends now? Pals? Or were they just mere acquaintances? Was the singer going to keep approaching him and starting conversations with him, or was it just going to be a one - or rather,  _ two -  _ time thing? Was he going to keep calling him sugar too? Because Chanyeol wasn't sure he could survive that.

Lord, he needed to sleep now if he wanted to at least get the three hours of sleep he had left before work. If only he could actually fall asleep.

Jongdae was certainly going to have a lot of questions to ask tomorrow, and Chanyeol wasn't sure if he was dreading that, the impending headache, or the excessive amount of work he had for tomorrow more.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Jongdae’s unspoken questions the next morning were as clear as if they had been written on his forehead and Chanyeol couldn't say it didn't make him restless. But something about him must have said he didn't want to share, because his friend chose not to ask, and Chanyeol couldn't have been more grateful.

His brother wasn't that considerate though, never ceasing to be his deprecating self. 

By the time he plopped down on his bed that night, he just couldn't help but be glad the day had ended. It had been so busy and his brother’s presence had just made everything all the more tiring. At the end of his shift he didn't have the energy to do anything but go home and sleep. He didn't even go to the bar. He had been visiting that place so frequently these days that not going made his day seem off.

But days at work would only get harder. They had made a new deal with another company and everyone would be working extra for the next week or so. And that meant his brother would be constantly checking up on him and everyone else, so he would have to see him on the daily. And, lord, he needed his mind to be as clear as possible to survive that.

Perhaps not going to the pub for a few days would be for the better.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


It was easier said than done, though. Work was getting more hectic by the day, his brother more annoying by the day, and Chanyeol more tired by the day. All he wanted was some time to just relax and have fun.

He was really growing too dependent on that bar, and it was getting ever so slightly concerning. But to think that, instead of listening to his brother complain for hours on no end, he could be drinking his favourite whiskey while listening to music; it was just a tad bit sad. Not to mention that, with the way things were going, he could even get to  _ talk  _ to Baekhyun again.

And he couldn't pretend that he didn't want that.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


It felt like a month, but eventually Sunday came and the week was finally over. They had managed to make all the necessary preparations for the new deal, and things would go back to their regular pace from then on. Chanyeol couldn't even begin to describe how relieved he was that he wouldn’t have to put up with his brother’s attitude on the daily anymore. And he was happy that Jongdae would finally get to relax; because a stressed Jongdae wasn't exactly a fun Jongdae.

But he couldn't even pretend he wasn't the happiest that he finally got to visit his favourite place once again. He was ready to feel at peace again and, perhaps he was ready to meet a certain singer again too. It wouldn’t hurt to make a new friend, would it?

The familiar heat of the bar when he entered felt relieving. He had missed it, the music, the smell, the chatter; the entire aura. Making his way to his usual seat felt nice, knowing he could go back to doing this on the regular felt even nicer. And then, he heard a voice he had grown to like a lot, a voice he had been wanting to hear for the past week. 

Taking off his hat and placing it on the counter, he turned to finally look at the singer playing the piano; Baekhyun. He seemed to have entered at the end of a song he wasn't particularly familiar with. Baekhyun noticed him faster than Chanyeol would have expected, getting caught off guard for just a second, before giving him a smile. Chanyeol did his best to smile back, and then turned to order his drink before his face got to start heating up. 

Calling for the bartender to order, he felt ever so slightly bad for having already forgotten his name when the guy had told him last time he had come. Then again, he had never been particularly good with names. 

He turned to look back at the band, but the face of a certain singer blocked his vision. A face that was suddenly way closer to him than it had been a minute ago, because there Baekhyun was, sitting on the stool right next to Chanyeol, smiling at him with that smile of his. “Hi sugar.” he said, and Chanyeol almost fell off his stool.

“H-Hi.” he stuttered, already breathless and, lord, Baekhyun didn't have to surprise him like that.

“Haven't seen you here for a few days, did anything happen?” he asked casually, turning for a moment to the bartender to order a drink.

“Work got quite heavy.” Chanyeol said, just a second too late, still trying to get himself together. He should be more careful next time. Getting to the pub before Baekhyun had his break meant getting to talk, and talking to the singer wasn't too good for his sanity. 

“That must have been a bummer. Is it better now?” 

“Yeah it’s…” Chanyeol started, his brain ever so slightly failing him from the way Baekhyun was looking at him. “It’s back to normal now.” he finished, proud of himself for getting a whole sentence out.

“That’s good then. By the way, you should tell that friend of yours that Moonshine will soon be back in business. Inside info, he must get excited.” he said, and Chanyeol couldn't help but wonder what Baekhyun meant by inside info. Then again, as a jazz singer he probably knew people from many bars, so it made sense.

“Oh, I sure will.” he replied, sheepish.

“Although, you should get him to come here at some point. You know, to see what quality truly feels like.” 

“Trust me, I’ve tried to, many times. He isn't one to change his favourites easily though.” he said with a laugh, and Baekhyun just shrugged.

“His loss then.” was all he said, taking a sip from his drink before putting it back down on the counter with a newfound interest. “So sugar, tell me something about yourself.”

He said out of the blue, and Chanyeol was ever so slightly caught off guard. It seemed that this man was catching him speechless more often than not these days.

“What do you want to know?” he managed out, sounding only slightly choked up compared to how he was feeling.

“Oh I wanna know many things. I sure am a very curious person but, for starters, what would you say is... your thing?”

“My thing?” Chanyeol asked, confused.

“Yes, like, the thing that you enjoy doing the most. Like, I spend my nights singing in front of a drunk mass of people, a cousin of mine collects coins from the ground and puts them in a jar thinking they will one day make him rich, your friend wastes his life in lowlife bars…” he started, making Chanyeol chuckle at his words, before continuing, tone less joking and more gentle this time. “And you? What is  _ your  _ thing, sugar?” he asked, and it really got Chanyeol thinking.

What was his thing? Most of his daily life was filled with work at the office, and he always spent his free time either sleeping or at his favourite bar. And sure, he enjoyed the pub a lot, but that didn't even count as a  _ thing _ , did it? Even when trying to think of things he liked, he couldn't think of anything. There was nothing in particular that made him happy, excited; nothing that stood out. He did think of himself as a rather happy person, but he just couldn't find anything that could count as  _ his thing.  _ He didn't have whatever it was that Baekhyun was asking for.

“I… don't think I have one.” he said after a bit, and a laugh was the last reaction he expected to get from the other.

“Nonsense! Everyone has one.” Baekhyun said. “You just haven't found it yet.” he added, his smile just a little softer than before. 

“Maybe you’re right...” was all Chanyeol said, and their conversation was soon over because Baekhyun had to get back to his work.

Chanyeol just watched him sing for hours, just like he had done all those other days before, never getting tired of hearing that voice. The more he saw him perform, the more he was getting addicted to it. He had noticed from the start that Baekhyun didn't perform like any other singer he knew. He didn't put on a show, he just  _ sang.  _ And in a way, Chanyeol could tell how much he loved his music just from the way he performed it. And the more he saw him do it, the more he loved it.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Once again, he found himself leaving the bar just a bit too late. Once again, he had stayed till the singer’s shift was over, and once again that hadn’t exactly been his plan.

Two steps out of the bar and he was already shivering from the cold. Damn winter, he couldn't wait for it to be over already. He hadn't even come with his car this time, and he would have to walk all the way back home in this cold.  _ How great. _

He had been too caught up in his thoughts to hear anything, but the car that stopped right in front of him wasn't something that could go unnoticed. His confusion only lasted for a second, before he noticed who was inside that car.

“Want me to give you a ride home, sugar?” Baekhyun asked, and Chanyeol could only hope the darkness of the night was enough to cover his wide eyes and flushed face. 

Before answering something he would regret, however, he realised. Baekhyun probably thought Chanyeol lived somewhere near him and he didn't even want to think of having to explain to him why he had taken a road so far from his house the other night.

“Oh no no, that’s fine. I… enjoy walking quite a lot.” he said with what he hoped was a convincing smile. 

Much to Chanyeol’s relief, Baekhyun didn't stress the matter any longer. “Have fun at your walk then, sugar.” he said with a smile, before driving away. Only once he was out of sight did Chanyeol breathe again.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


A freezing fifteen minutes later and he was finally in the warm confines of his bed. And yet, he couldn't sleep. It seemed to be a common occurrence for him these days, but he couldn't help it. He would be lying if he said the singer’s question hadn’t got him thinking. 

He knew very well that bookkeeping wasn't something he could call a dream, and the pub couldn't be his only form of entertainment. And yet, he didn't have anything. At least not yet.

His thing… what could it be?

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


As the days passed, he fell right back into the routine he had before work had gotten crazy. Just like that, his work hours and free time went back to normal. Even his sleep hours grew, albeit just a little. After all, work hadn’t been the cause of  _ that _ problem.

Moonshine got back in business too, and Jongdae went back to nagging him to go to what a certain singer would call a disgrace of a speakeasy. But of course, he wouldn’t give in. He had all the more reasons not to go there now anyways, considering his favourite bar also meant seeing that certain singer.

They spoke regularly now. Chanyeol would like to think it was a mere coincidence he always went to the bar earlier these days and that it had nothing to do with Baekhyun’s break time, but he was barely fooling himself. He had lost his pocket watch though, and he was perfectly happy with blaming it all on that for the time being.

Still, coincidence or not, it meant plenty of talking with Baekhyun and Chanyeol was most certainly not complaining about it. There was nothing bad with talking after all. He was making a new friend and that was great; right? After all, life can't work out with just one friend. He loved Jongdae in the way he couldn't really say he loved his brother, but he couldn't be his only companion in life. He could really use making some new friends. Right, that was all this was. Making a new friend.

He didn't want to think of all the other things though. Of the way his brain stopped working and his heart stopped beating whenever he was with Baekhyun. Of all the things he most certainly did not feel whenever he was with Jongdae. They weren’t of any importance.

_ Right? _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


It was just another Tuesday night, and Chanyeol found himself heading to his favourite pub again, just like all those times before. Except, something was different.

Walking inside the warm bar, he was greeted by that same smell of booze and that boisterous chatter that he was so used to hearing. Before even getting to look around though, he was greeted by one more thing, less expected than the previous ones. A voice. Not just any voice, but a voice he didn't recognize. Even he himself was shocked by how fast his head snapped towards the directions of the stage. Everything was normal, the band was playing happily, the piano was there like always - but one thing was off. In the place where Baekhyun had been sitting for the past few weeks or so, was now sitting a man that Chanyeol had never seen in his life before. There was no mistaking the way his heart dropped. Confusion overcame him.  _ What? _

He quickly made his way to the bar. Standing at the entrance for so long must have looked rather weird after all. Sitting down and ordering a drink, his head was filled with questions. Had they gotten a new singer already? No way. Baekhyun had barely been there for a month and, besides, they had last talked a few days ago, he would have told him if he was planning on leaving, right? They were starting to become friends after all,  _ right? _

What if he truly had left though? What if he had gotten fired or, what if he was offered a better position? They weren’t that close after all, he had no obligation to tell Chanyeol. But…

_ What if Chanyeol never saw him again? _

He didn't know why, but he couldn't really breathe.The moment the whiskey was placed next to him, he chugged it all down as though it was water. And that had been a bad decision because, in a second, his throat was on fire. 

Asking for another glass as well as some water this time, he tried to be rational. He wouldn’t leave, there was no way. Baekhyun had seemed to be quite fond of Paranoia since the first time they spoke, why leave so suddenly? Right, he wouldn’t. Definitely not.

His thoughts were cut short by a sudden voice from behind him. 

“Quit looking over there, sugar. I’m right here.”

And if he thought he had almost broken his neck earlier, this time it was for sure broken. But he couldn't say it wasn't worth it, because in a split second he had turned around and there he was, sitting on the stool next to his, in all his never ceasing glory;  _ Baekhyun. _

Chanyeol was still confused, but he hadn’t felt that relieved in a long time.

“Baekhyun.” he said, too fast. “H-Hi.” he added, trying to gather his thoughts to make coherent sentences yet somehow still ending up with “You’re… Why are you…”

“Why am I here and not on the stage?” Baekhyun finished for him with a small chuckle, the glint in his eyes making it hard for Chanyeol to do anything but nod. He was just glad he didn't have to actually form the whole question, because he wasn't sure he would have managed to do that. “It’s my day off today.” the singer explained, smile still lingering on his face.

“Oh, then... why are you here?” 

“‘Cause I figured you’d be here too.” the singer said with a shrug, as if it was the most normal of things to say. As if Chanyeol didn't turn ten different shades of red. Thank god he hadn’t been holding his glass at least. “And I wasn't wrong, was I?” he added, and Chanyeol had no idea how one responded to that.

“I-I guess not.” he replied, and it came off so small that he could only hope Baekhyun had heard him because he did not want to have to speak again; not in whatever this state he was in was.

Taking as small of a sip from his drink as he could, he observed - in what he hoped was a discreet way - the way Baekhyun ordered and then drank his own drink. When Baekhyun’s eyes caught him staring though, he was quick to divert his gaze to the stage.

“So, are you enjoying the show?” Baekhyun asked and Chanyeol turned back to look at him, as slowly as could be considered normal.

“Uhm, sure.” he replied, not exactly what one would call enthusiastic. 

“Jeez sugar. I know my performances are unmatched, but you could look a tad less upset about my absence. He’s not bad.” he said, and Chanyeol was certain that his face was as red as the dresses of some of the girls dancing. 

“You sure are confident.” he said, not daring to meet the singer’s eyes and hoping the lighting would hide the redness.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Baekhyun shot back, and Chanyeol wasn't looking at him but he could bet that he was smirking. He was not going to reply to that, though, because he knew as well as Baekhyun that he was right and he couldn't even deny how upset he had been at the thought of never seeing Baekhyun perform again - never seeing  _ him  _ again. “Tell you what, sugar” Baekhyun spoke up again, and Chanyeol couldn't help but look at him this time. “I’m rather bored myself, so what do you say we get out of here?”

Chanyeol was hoping his eyes hadn’t betrayed him and widened at that, because his voice certainly did. “W-What?” Lord, he was stuttering like a child, but he couldn't even blame himself. Get out and go where? Do what? 

His whole face must have been nothing but a big flustered question mark, but Baekhyun just smiled as he drank the last of his drink and got up. “Come on.” he said, grabbing his coat and putting on his hat, motioning his head towards the door. “Follow me.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Walking along the quiet, dimly lit roads next to Baekhyun could have felt nice; if only Chanyeol hadn't been so damn curious. 

“Are you at least going to tell me where we're going?” he asked, knowing full well what Baekhyun's answer would be. 

“No.” Baekhyun said, amused. Well, it had been worth a try. “Don't worry, sugar. You'll love it.” He added, turning to look at him with a surprisingly reassuring smile.

And really, Chanyeol got too busy trying to breathe to actually respond to that. He'd have to start collecting himself better if they were going to become friends. It would only take so long before Baekhyun started finding him weird. 

“I just hope I'm right on this one.” he heard Baekhyun murmur quietly, almost as if he hadn't been supposed to hear it. And when he turned to glance at him, he found Baekhyun already looking at him, staring in an almost scrutinizing way, as if that would help him find whatever he had been wondering about. For just a moment, Baekhyun's eyes had been on him, and Chanyeol hadn't been breathing, yet in the next, they were gone, looking straight ahead instead.

Curiosity was still ever so present in Chanyeol's mind, and yet, something about the way Baekhyun had looked at him told him it would be better if he didn't ask. Something about his eyes told him not to question. Something about his gaze told him to wait, just for a little.

And so, for the rest of their walk, he did just that. If Baekhyun wasn't going to be explaining any of his questions, then he should at least enjoy their walk. Besides, the night hadn't been so warm in a long time, he should be glad.

As Baekhyun's steps finally started to slow down, confusion overtook Chanyeol once again. He looked around in an attempt to find any place that stood out, anything that didn't look like a house, anything that could possibly be their destination; but to no avail. Everything around them was bland, and if Chanyeol hadn’t known that Baekhyun's house was at a completely different place, he would have thought Baekhyun had taken him there, because that was all he could spot surrounding them; houses - and a few warehouses. 

He turned to look at Baekhyun with a question ready in his mouth, but the singer just walked to the front of the door of what looked like one of the warehouses. Puzzled, Chanyeol simply followed and stood behind him, as Baekhyun turned and gave him one last look before knocking on the door, in what seemed just a bit too calculated to be a regular knock.

Chanyeol could only stand there and stare in confusion as the door opened slowly, almost hesitantly, and a man's head popped from inside to look at them. He didn't speak at first, but he soon seemed to recognise Baekhyun, because in a minute he had gotten back inside with nothing more than a “Come on in.” 

Baekhyun turned to smile at him one last time, motioning with his body towards the building in front of them before heading inside. Chanyeol just followed behind him, entering what he had thought to be a warehouse; only to realise that it was anything but that.

The first two things he processed once inside were the sudden warmth that surrounded him and the loud music that filled his ears, accompanied by chatter. His mind automatically assumed that they were in a bar, and indeed, once he looked up and finally took his surroundings into account, it very much looked like one. Except, something felt different.

He followed close behind Baekhyun as he walked, looking around the place. It was rather spacious, clearly made to be an actual warehouse rather than a pub. People were everywhere, dancing, chatting, messing around. A band was playing music but there was no singer; still, no one seemed to mind. The more Chanyeol observed everyone, the more he noticed just how ecstatic everyone seemed. Sure, people had fun at his own regular bar but, somehow, this was different.

It didn't take him much longer, though, to spot the obvious difference, because everyone in that pub, from the band to the rest of the people, they were all men. The ones chatting together were all men. The ones dancing together were all men. Even the ones fooling around with each other; they were  _ all men.  _

That's when Chanyeol realised just what this place was. This wasn't just a regular speakeasy. Now he understood just why this was so well hidden. Somehow, this was even more illegal than regular speakeasies; even more dangerous. And yet, somehow, this felt so much better than being at a regular speakeasy.

He knew what this meant. He knew why this place was more hidden, why this place was even less allowed. He knew that none of this could ever go out in the real world, knew how much it would be judged, discriminated against. He knew why everything about this was a secret and just what would happen if said secret was ever revealed. He was well aware, and yet, looking at them gave him a good understanding of why the risk was worth it, because being in this place just felt so oddly nice, and he couldn't explain it.

“This is…” he started, and he hadn’t realised when he had stopped walking, but Baekhyun had stopped too and was now looking at him in something akin to confusion and…  _ concern?  _ Why was Baekhyun concerned? What was he afraid of?

“This is?” Baekhyun asked, at Chanyeol’s lack of an explanation.

And all Chanyeol wanted was to get that concerned look off his face, so he just said the first word that came to his mind. “Nice.” The effect was instantaneous, the way Baekhyun’s expression changed almost comical, but at the same time relieving. “This is so nice.”

“It is, isn't it?” Baekhyun asked, sweet smile making its way back to his face and, suddenly, everything seemed normal again. “Have you never been to anything like this before?”

“No… never.” Chanyeol said, his attention lost for a split moment, as he heard a man from somewhere near calling out to him, commenting something about a  _ new guy _ . 

His focus went back to Baekhyun in seconds though, as he spoke to him again. “Really? But why miss out on so much fun, sugar?” he asked, that one word never failing to make Chanyeol feel all sorts of flustered. 

Taking just a tad too long, all he replied with was “I don't know…” 

Baekhyun didn't say anything, and Chanyeol opted for observing his surroundings once again. Everyone seemed to be having so much fun that it was affecting his own feelings. He couldn't stop thinking about how this place was just so different _.  _ People danced at normal bars all the time, they fooled around there all the time, they had fun there all the time. 

And yet, Chanyeol had always seen bars as a place to drink and listen to nice music. The dancing and messing around had never been of his interest. He had always thought those things simply weren’t for him. And yet somehow, observing the people here made him feel like he could finally understand the fun of it all. He looked at the people here and he just couldn't stop thinking that they looked so  _ alive.  _

“This is really nice…” he muttered absentmindedly, not noticing the way Baekhyun hadn’t said anything  _ or _ the way he hadn’t stopped looking at him.

“Come on, sugar.” Baekhyun suddenly spoke up, and Chanyeol turned back to face him again. 

Baekhyun offering him his hand had been the last thing he had expected to see and, along forgetting how to breathe, he also forgot how to move for a moment. Baekhyun just smiled at him, in a way that made Chanyeol’s insides tickle, before speaking up again. “Dance with me?” 

Chanyeol’s brain properly stopped working as he gave Baekhyun his hand and let himself be pulled further inside the pub, only muttering a “Sure” somewhere along the way. As they made their way towards a less packed corner of the bar, Chanyeol couldn't stop his mind from thinking about how nice it felt to hold Baekhyun’s hand. That probably meant something, but he wasn't willing to think about it; at least not now.

Before he noticed it, Baekhyun had stopped walking and he had turned to face him, looking up at him almost as if he was waiting for something. Chanyeol just stared back at him, his thoughts too much of a mess to understand what the singer was waiting for. Chuckling, Baekhyun took hold of his spare hand and placed it on his shoulder blade, before placing his own on Chanyeol’s back. And only when he started to move did Chanyeol realise; he didn't know how to  _ dance.  _ He had never liked to dance at bars and so he had never needed to learn how to do it. But right now Baekhyun was dancing and he was just awkwardly being pulled by him. 

The singer probably noticed the way Chanyeol had frozen. He leaned a little closer, so as to not need to yell, and muttered. “Relax, sugar.”

“I don't- I’ve never done this before.” Chanyeol said dejectedly, and he could only hope the dim lighting of the bar was enough to hide his reddened face.

Much to his relief, though, Baekhyun didn't seem to mind at all. “That's alright.” he exclaimed, and Chanyeol somehow didn't feel nearly as insecure as he had a minute ago. Then Baekhyun leaned in just a little more and added with a smile. “It’s not that hard. Just follow me.” 

And, honestly, Chanyeol did just that. He had no idea what he was doing, for the most part he was just moving around in a way that he wasn't sure could be considered as dancing, and he probably stepped on Baekhyun’s feet a few too many times, but the singer wasn't complaining and neither was he. 

Because although it was messy, it just felt so  _ nice.  _ Finally he could understand all those people that would dance at his favourite bar. It was just so fun;  _ why had he never done this before?  _ He knew the reason more than well, though. He knew he wouldn’t be dancing if it weren’t for Baekhyun, and he knew he wouldn’t want to be dancing with anyone  _ but  _ Baekhyun. He doubted dancing with Jongdae would be so fun - or with anyone for that matter, no offense to his friend. 

The more songs they spent dancing, the more fun it got. Maybe it was the experience the more songs gave him or maybe it was the drinks they were having in between, but Chanyeol was feeling less and less insecure about his dancing. He couldn't explain how he felt in any way other than letting go - of anything and everything.

And for the first time that night, as they danced and drank and laughed, Chanyeol’s mind was free of all thoughts. “This is so… I can't believe I’ve never been to a place like this before.” he exclaimed over the music, his grin wide and mirroring Baekhyun’s. 

“Well you’re here now, so enjoy.” the singer said back, just a tad louder than usual. This was probably the closest he had ever gotten to seeing Baekhyun even just slightly tipsy, since the man clearly had a rather high tolerance. Chanyeol wouldn’t say his own tolerance was all that bad but at least now he could blame the booze for his flustered state.

And it was all just so much, but not in a bad way. Being in this pub, it felt nice. Being there with Baekhyun felt nice. Dancing and having fun with him felt even nicer, and this was definitely a night he wouldn’t forget. It was just all so nice and he felt so  _ alive. _

The more they danced, the more creative Baekhyun got with his moves too. They turned and pushed and pulled and, suddenly, they were way closer than they had been just a second ago. In a flash, the haze of the alcohol in Chanyeol’s brain seemed to clear and the music no longer seemed as loud as it had been just a few moments ago. Baekhyun was  _ so close _ , and Chanyeol was suddenly well aware of the situation they were currently in. If he tried to focus, he could tell that nothing had quite changed. The rest of the people were still having fun and the music had only gotten livelier. And yet, they had seemed to stop; to freeze in time. They were still dancing, but it was way slower - a gentle rocking in the place of frantic moving. 

“We should do this again sometime, sugar.” Baekhyun said, and it was way lower than it had been before.

“We should.” Chanyeol tried to say but it came off only as a whisper. He could tell Baekhyun had heard him though. The singer didn't make any move to get them back to their previous rhythm, though. What were they doing? Was Chanyeol the only one noticing the change in the atmosphere, the way things seemed to have frozen? 

It was probably a trick of his imagination, but why did Baekhyun seem to be leaning even closer? Everything was happening so fast. They were holding each other, slow-dancing with each other, being so damn close to each other. And all this while, Baekhyun was looking at him, staring right at his eyes and nowhere else, as if trying to see through his soul. Baekhyun’s eyes were refusing to leave his own and he was just _ so close  _ and Chanyeol couldn't breathe. 

And as close became too close and Baekhyun’s eyes fell closed, Chanyeol finally realised what was about to happen. He was going to  _ kiss  _ him, they were going to kiss and, for whatever reason, it made sense. For whatever reason, it felt like the right thing to do, it felt like the thing Chanyeol wanted to do. And yet– 

“I-” he spoke, and the way Baekhyun’s eyes flew open as he instantly put a small distance between them would have almost been comical if they hadn’t been in this situation. And still, Chanyeol couldn't breathe. “I can't.” he said, before pushing past Baekhyun and quite literally running away.

He had half a mind to grab his hat and coat as he walked out of that pub as quickly as he could without catching the other people’s attention. He barely heard Baekhyun’s voice as he called out to him.

He just needed to get out of here.  _ He just needed to breathe.  _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Sugar- Chanyeol, wait!” Baekhyun exclaimed the moment Chanyeol walked past him, turning around to go after him. He had never meant to make him uncomfortable or force him into doing anything he didn't want. He had just read the signs wrong. It was all just a misunderstanding.

Pushing through people dancing and laughing, he could see the confusion on their faces, but in that moment, it didn't matter. He just had to catch up to Chanyeol and explain to him. He just had to find him, before he ran away.

He barely explained himself when he pushed the guard to the side and opened the door to get out. Once outside, he turned to look around, frantically searching for a certain man and spotting him laying against the wall next to the door, breathing heavily. He let out a sigh of relief at the sight, but Chanyeol must have heard him because in the next moment he was starting to leave again.

“Chanyeol! Wait!” he exclaimed, running up to him and holding him from the elbow to keep him from leaving again. 

“I’m sorry, I-” Chanyeol stuttered, and he looked so lost. Baekhyun felt so bad. This had never been supposed to happen. “I can't.” he almost whispered, and even holding him in place felt wrong in that moment. But they had to talk.

“Wait, Chanyeol. Hear me out for a minute.” he said, breathless, afraid of the other man running away. But he seemed to have relaxed, even just a little bit. “Let me explain.” he added, quieter this time, and the guilt must have been apparent in his tone. 

At least Chanyeol had stopped trying to break free from Baekhyun’s hold, but he still wasn’t looking at him. Baekhyun let go of his arm, not wanting to make him even more uncomfortable than he already had. He waited for a reply, a reaction, anything; yet all he got was silence. He assumed that would have to be enough for now, though.

“I’m so sorry that I made you feel uncomfortable back in there.” he started, hesitantly, not quite sure if he was approaching the matter in the right way. Still, all he could do was express his thoughts and hope that Chanyeol understood them. “I would never purposely do something you didn't want me to, or force you into anything, I just…” and really, how could he explain? How could he say he had assumed things about Chanyeol without offending him? “I just understood some things wrongly, that’s all.” he said, dejected, and Chanyeol was starting to feel bad too. 

Still, all he gave him in return was silence, and all Baekhyun could do was sigh and continue. “I never meant to make you feel uncomfortable. That wasn't my intention.” he said, looking at Chanyeol in a way he hoped helped him understand him, but Chanyeol was staring at the ground instead . “I understand if you don't-” he hesitated for just a second, “like me; or men in general. I was too quick to assume and that was my fault.” he finished, but why was Chanyeol still not looking back at him? 

Baekhyun didn't know what more to do, couldn't tell what was going on in Chanyeol’s mind at that moment. “I’m really sorry.” he whispered. “I really hope we can stay friends, but I understand if that’s not something you’d want.” 

Silence. Once again. Chanyeol wasn't speaking, wasn't moving, and Baekhyun didn't know what to make out of it. What was he thinking, what was he feeling? He couldn't tell, and it scared him.

Thoughtlessly, his hand touched Chanyeol’s to grab his attention. “Sugar, are you-” he started, but the way Chanyeol pulled his arm away from his hold almost as if he had been burnt was enough to stop him from finishing his sentence. The sudden hurt that filled his senses was even stronger than the guilt that had been eating him from the inside. He knew what he had done had been wrong, but was this really necessary? “I… I’m sorry Chanyeol.”

Baekhyun felt so small in that moment, so powerless, and he hated it. 

“This isn't okay.” Chanyeol suddenly whispered, and it got Baekhyun’s head springing up in seconds. Finally, a response, a reaction,  _ something. _

“I know, I know I shouldn't have-” he was quick to reply, but Chanyeol was just as quick to cut him off again.

“No.” Chanyeol was muttering, shaking his head, looking almost as if he was battling with his own thoughts. “None of this is okay.” he said, and all Baekhyun could do was stand there in confusion. 

“What?” he asked, barely loud enough to be heard. He wanted to understand Chanyeol, he really did, but he couldn't. And Chanyeol could see it, he could tell from the look in his eyes just how much he was trying, but his thoughts were such a mess that even he himself couldn't understand them.

“This isn't… normal.” he spoke almost reluctantly, not even sure of what he was trying to say at this point. It felt so wrong to say it, but it was true, wasn't it? That's what other people had always said, that's what he had grown up hearing. And yet, why did he feel like the wrong one? 

The change in Baekhyun’s eyes couldn't go unnoticed. “Hold up.  _ What? _ ” he asked, and his tone was unforgiving. It made Chanyeol instantly regret what he had just said. He didn't even know who was right anymore, he just wanted this conversation to end, wanted this night to disappear so that they could go back to when none of this had happened. But Baekhyun wasn't going to let that happen. “What are you trying to say, Chanyeol?” he asked, and Chanyeol hated that tone, hated the way Baekhyun called him by his name. 

“It’s just- This is wrong.” he tried, helplessly, wanting Baekhyun to understand the way he was saying it, wanting Baekhyun to understand  _ him.  _ And yet, he only seemed to be making things worse.

“You-” Baekhyun sounded breathless. “I can't believe this.” he chuckled, and it felt like a punch in the face. 

Was he the wrong one? Was he being the illogical one? He had always heard people around him saying those same things and worse, yet no one had seemed to react like that? And, although he never understood the reason why people like the ones in this pub were wrong, he knew more than well what the reaction would be if anyone was to be open about it. 

It sure hadn’t felt wrong when he was back inside that bar though, so what was the truth? How could something that felt so right be so wrong?

His thoughts were a mess. His feelings were in chaos. How could he explain what he really meant to Baekhyun? How could he get him to stop looking at him like that?

He couldn't, and at his lack of words Baekhyun spoke up again. “Assuming what you liked was wrong, trying to kiss you without asking was wrong, trying to do anything you didn't feel comfortable with… that was all wrong.” he started, and Chanyeol didn't think he was breathing. “But do you know what isn't wrong?” it was a question, but he wasn't really asking. “Everything that goes on in there. Having fun, dancing, drinking; none of that is wrong. Doing all that with other men isn't wrong either. Being  _ happy  _ isn't  _ wrong.”  _ he exclaimed, his voice getting louder by the second. Chanyeol didn't like this, didn't like Baekhyun being angry at him. “None of the people in there are wrong for being who they are.” 

“But Baekhyun-” he just wanted Baekhyun to understand, why couldn't Baekhyun understand? “They can't marry, they can't tell anyone, they can't even be together outside of this place. And if anyone ever found out-”

“But we don't live to marry, Chanyeol.” Baekhyun cut him off. “We don't live to please others, or to follow someone else’s rules about what is right and what is wrong. Speakeasies are illegal and yet you spend your every night at one of them, so what’s the difference?” he asked, and Chanyeol had no way of replying to that. “We live for ourselves, Chanyeol, because our own selves are the only ones that will never leave us.”

Chanyeol couldn't say anything to disagree with that. Was Baekhyun right? Was he the one at fault, the one who needed to understand Baekhyun instead? And if he was, how could he take back something that had angered Baekhyun so much? He couldn't reply, because he didn't know how to do it without making things even worse.

But Baekhyun didn't stop. “Just because the world doesn't accept me it doesn't mean I should change. I’m not harming anyone, so what’s the problem?” he asked. “Am I so wrong for wanting to be happy? For wanting to  _ love _ ?” he said, breathless, and that’s when it hit Chanyeol. Anger wasn't the feeling taking over Baekhyun at the moment. It was  _ hurt. _

“I didn't-”  _ I didn’t mean to hurt you. _

“You know, I don't usually let my hopes get high. I know very well how the world can be but, somehow, I hoped you would be different.” And somehow, those words were hurting Chanyeol more than anything else. “But I guess not.” he said as he straightened his coat. “Don't worry, though, my presence won't bother you for much longer. We don't have to see each other anymore.” he said, and turned to leave, just like that.

“Baekhyun-” Chanyeol tried, but it was weak; just like him.

Baekhyun ended up being the one to leave after all.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Chanyeol didn't get a minute of sleep that night. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get what had happened out of his head, couldn't stop thinking of Baekhyun’s words, of the look on his face. 

It had all happened so fast. One moment they were laughing and dancing, and the next they were fighting. And to think that somewhere in between, Baekhyun had tried to  _ kiss  _ him. It was just too much. Even thinking about it was overwhelming, living it had been… he didn't even want to think about it.

And yet, it was all he was thinking about, replaying the moment in his head over and over again, losing the few hours of sleep he could have gotten. 

And when the sun started to rise and he could see light peeking from his curtains, all hopes of getting even an hour of rest were gone.

He didn't even try to hide his state when he went to work that morning and Jongdae’s questions were more than expected. Much to Chanyeol’s relief, though, his friend must have gotten a little too used to his odd moods, so he dropped the matter soon after Chanyeol told him he would just need some time. 

And it wasn't fully a lie to get Jongdae to stop pestering him. He did need time to get his thoughts together. The thing was, he had never before put much thought into matters like this. Had never taken things like this into consideration. And he didn't exactly know where he stood with it. 

Last night, he didn't have a proper answer to any of Baekhyun’s words. Because as much as he had the exact opposite words drilled into his brain for years and as much as the majority of people would disagree, he couldn't find any of Baekhyun’s words to be  _ wrong _ . Everything he was saying made perfect sense, so why would people say otherwise? 

Why was this all so complicated, and why did he fight with Baekhyun when he himself didn't even know what was right? 

It had all been too much and he hadn’t been thinking, but he had offended Baekhyun. How could he fix that?

By the end of his shift, he couldn't help but think about just how grateful he was for Jongdae, who not only didn't pry but also didn't complain about Chanyeol’s lack of concentration and effectiveness on that day. 

Getting in his car and heading home, he couldn't help but feel a small gap at the change of routine. But he couldn't go to the bar. It was his favourite place, and he could certainly use a glass of liquor, but there was no way he could go there tonight.

And so, plopping down on his couch, it was just him and his thoughts for the rest of that night; and most likely the nights to come as well.

Not thinking about what had happened seemed impossible. With nothing to distract him any longer, thinking was all he could do. 

The happenings of last night had replayed themselves in his head so many times by then that they were almost imprinted in his mind. Thinking back to how the night had started, to how he had worried about Baekhyun having left the bar because he hadn’t known it was his day off - it was almost laughable.

And then he had told him to go somewhere else, and Chanyeol had most definitely been panicking; but it had been nice. Those feelings, the slight panic, the breathlessness, the lack of the ability to form sentences - they made him feel like a fool but at the same time he had been looking forward to them every night.

And when they finally reached that place where Baekhyun had wanted to take him… it was something he would never forget. Being in that bar, it had made him feel things he had never felt before. He had been so curious about what it could be, because, for the first time, Baekhyun looked  _ nervous  _ about something. And when he finally found out what that place was… he couldn't describe the feeling, but he knew that he felt comfortable.

They had had so much fun there, so how did things go downhill after that? How could a night so good turn so bad so quickly?

But of course, it wasn't completely out of nowhere. Baekhyun had tried to kiss him. Still, if anyone had been at fault, then it was Chanyeol. 

Baekhyun had apologized so much afterwards, but it hadn't been his fault. Chanyeol  _ had  _ given him the wrong impression, but that was only because… was it really the wrong impression? 

His feelings and thoughts had been a mess ever since he first met Baekhyun, but he had always pushed them to the back, leaving them for later. But it was too late now, and he couldn't pretend his feelings didn't exist any longer.

It was high time he actually thought about them and figured out what they meant, because they had passed the point of only affecting himself; they affected Baekhyun too now. The mess that were his thoughts had  _ hurt  _ Baekhyun, and that wasn't right. 

But what was a mess for weeks couldn't be fixed in an hour, and another sleepless night was the last thing he needed. Perhaps what he had told Jongdae wasn't an excuse at all. Perhaps time was all he really needed.

Time to think without any distraction. Time to just take a break and think of things. Time to understand what he was thinking, what he was feeling. Time. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The days were getting longer and longer, and he was starting to wonder which amount of thinking could be considered too much - because he was confident he had already surpassed it. 

Jongdae’s looks were getting more and more pointed as well, and he could tell his friend was holding himself from speaking up. Thankfully work had been significantly calm for the past few days, because he had most certainly been underperforming. Not that his work was all that hard, or that he wasn't trying, but he knew he could do better. He just needed a little more time, though. That was all.

Except, work and Jongdae weren't his only issue, neither was his concerning amount of overthinking. There was one more thing - the bar. It had only been a week and he had stayed away from that place for much longer before, but he really just wanted to go back to his favourite bar. And not because he missed the bar or the music or even the booze, but because he missed Baekhyun. And he had done enough thinking these past few days to be able to acknowledge that. 

He did miss Baekhyun and he did really want to see him; and there was a reason for that. The same reason why he had given him the “wrong” impression, and the same reason Baekhyun had assumed things that Chanyeol hadn't been ready to accept.

And, although he wasn't certain he was ready now either, he was getting there. That was why he needed this time, no matter how much he just wanted to go back to how things were. Things would have to change and it was on his hand to try to make them change for the better. He could fix things, he wanted to. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Jongdae was clearly running out of patience, though. Two whole weeks had passed since his friend had shown up at work looking like a piano had fallen on top of him, and although the tiredness had worn off, the sadness hadn't. His friend was upset. 

He was probably thinking that all of this was good for him, that time would fix all his problems, but Jongdae knew better than that. He knew his friend better than that, and although some time to finally think would help him, it wouldn't be enough. He needed a final push that would make all that time worth it, and Jongdae knew damn well that push wouldn't come on its own.

So Jongdae had a plan to get his friend back. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


When Chanyeol got to work that next morning, Jongdae was prepared. “Hi Yeol!” he exclaimed, and the way Chanyeol froze in his tracks was almost comical.

“Hi?” he asked, looking rather out of place. It was too early in the morning for anyone to be that energetic, especially for his usually lively friend who became a grumpy old man in the mornings. 

But as Chanyeol observed him, the usually grumpy old man was replaced by an overly excited child, and Chanyeol was seriously starting to get concerned. Jongdae only ever acted like that when they got paid the extra hours, but that had happened just last week so it couldn't be the case today.

“Are you alright?” he asked, making his way to his part of the office and sitting on his chair. 

“Of course, why wouldn't I be?” he asked, and Chanyeol was certain he was looking at him like he was some sort of a madman at that moment, but he couldn't help it. Neither of them was a morning person, so Chanyeol was more than confused.

“I don't know.” was all he said back, shrugging and trying to focus back on his work.

Only to be interrupted by Jongdae’s scarily happy voice just two minutes later. “Hey Yeol, I was thinking the other day that it’s been rather long since we last went out for drinks together - you know, with what happened with Moonshine and all.” he started and of course, Jongdae only ever acted like this when he got paid  _ or  _ when he wanted to ask for a favour. “So, what do you say we go out tonight?” he asked and, really, Chanyeol should have known.

“Look, man, I know you’re excited about Moonshine opening up again, but I told you, I’m not going back there.”  _ Not going back to that disgrace of a speakeasy,  _ he thought, unable to keep a certain singer’s words out of his head. 

It wasn't rare for him to decline his friend’s offers for nights out, especially considering he always wanted to go to Moonshine and Chanyeol hated that place, but now he had even more of a reason not to go. 

Jongdae wasn't going to drop the matter so easily though. “That’s alright! We can go to your place instead.” he said with that same enthusiasm, and it came as an actual surprise to Chanyeol, because Jongdae never went anywhere that wasn't his favourite bar. “What was it called again? Paranoia, right?” he asked, and Chanyeol was seriously starting to worry about his friend now. How desperately did he want to go out with him that he would settle with something that wasn't Moonshine?

At Chanyeol’s lack of a response, Jongdae tried again. “Oh, come on, Chanyeol. You should loosen up a little.” Was this all? Had Jongdae finally gotten sick of his gloomy mood and this was his way of fixing it? “Besides, we don't have any work tomorrow.”

“I don't know…” he replied, reluctant. Was he ready to see Baekhyun again? Was this the right time? His thoughts still weren't crystal clear. Things were still new and intimidating. Then again, maybe his thoughts would never be clear. Maybe he needed to trust his friend on this one.

“Tell you what,” Jongdae said, grabbing Chanyeol’s attention once more. “I’ll bring Ruth and I’ll tell her to bring a friend of hers too. It can be like two dates in one - a double date!” he exclaimed, excited, and Chanyeol wondered if his face had gotten as pale as he felt. Because, lord, this was a problem; a big problem. “Who knows, maybe you’ll get lucky.” he said with a  _ wink,  _ clearly not noticing the way Chanyeol’s blood had left his face.

This was such a bad idea. Seeing Baekhyun again was scary enough, but having Baekhyun see him again after two whole weeks with a girl by his side - that was a recipe for disaster. He had wanted to make things better, not worse. He wasn't enough of a fool to do something like  _ that. _

“Come on, Chanyeol. Do it for your friend?” Jongdae asked, and he knew this was a horrible idea, but he was also weak. He was very weak and he hadn't seen Baekhyun for two weeks and he missed him already.

Maybe this wouldn't go as bad, right? Maybe Baekhyun wouldn't misunderstand the situation, right? Maybe he would even get to explain himself and fix things. “Alright.” 

Maybe it would all be fine,  _ right? _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


It didn't look like it would go all that fine though, as Chanyeol found himself struggling to move in the cramped space that was Jongdae’s car. He didn't even want to think of how they would fit in there when they picked up the others too. Suddenly, taking Jongdae’s car no longer seemed so much of a good idea as it previously had. He should have taken his own and met them there, but it was too late for that now.

Reaching Jongdae’s house, two girls walked out, hair styled and clothes not so casual. Ready for a night out. He recognised one of them as Ruth, Jongdae’s wife, and although he had never seen the other one before, he could assume she was the girl Jongdae had told him about when trying to convince him.

She introduced herself to him as Evelyn. It was a pretty name - that was all Chanyeol could think about it. She seemed nice too, from the very little they got to speak, but that was all. He just hoped she wasn't expecting a “double date” like the one Jongdae had mentioned, because that would definitely end with disappointment.

They got back inside the car soon after that and, lord, had he been right. He was too polite to separate the married couple, but the back seats were even worse than the front ones had been. These cars were supposedly designed to fit four people but by now Chanyeol was certain that it was all a matter of symmetry and not actual function. Or, perhaps Jongdae’s car was just too small. Either way, by the time they reached the bar, Chanyeol had already bumped his head on the roof of the car a few too many times.

Yet, as relieved as he was to finally get out of that abomination of a car, he was ten times more nervous now. Right in front of him was the door to his favourite bar, the door to what had come to feel like a second home to him. And yet, in that moment, it only felt intimidating. 

It brought back feelings and worries and thoughts, and his mind was a mess all over again. Just the thought of seeing Baekhyun; it was too much. He froze in place. He couldn't do this. This wasn't a good idea. He wasn't ready and this just wasn't the right moment.

“Chanyeol?” Jongdae’s voice shook him out of his thoughts. “You coming?” he asked, and Chanyeol nodded without thinking. “Let’s go then.” his friend added, before offering his arm to his wife and walking towards the bar. Chanyeol’s brain froze once again for a completely different reason.  _ Did he need to do that too? _

Glancing towards the girl next to him, he could tell she was waiting for something. And so, he did what seemed fit, offering her his arm to take. And from the way she took it straight away, he knew that that was what she had been waiting for. Oh lord, this was bad. He shouldn't give her the wrong idea. This was so bad.

Walking towards the couple, he saw the smug look Jongdae gave him. Great, he was giving everyone the wrong idea now. Just great.

His friend motioned for him to lead the way, since he “knew his way around”, as if this was some huge building or something like that.

He did as told though, hoping the narrow door would make Evelyn let go of his arm yet being proven wrong. With one final breath, preparing himself for what he hoped wouldn't be a disaster, he made his way inside. 

Just like all those times ago, but this was different. Everything was different, except for the way the first thing his eyes looked for was Baekhyun. That had been the same for some time now, and he couldn't say he wanted it to change. 

The singer was there like always, playing his piano and performing like always, making Chanyeol momentarily lose his breath like always. He was nearing the end of a song and when he finally opened his mouth to sing - Chanyeol almost froze in his tracks for the millionth time that night. He had missed this, more than he would like to admit.

Still, standing in the middle of the bar with three other people behind him must have looked weird, and Chanyeol forced himself to avert his gaze to find an empty table instead, leading the others and taking a seat.

As they took their jackets off and settled down, Chanyeol opted for simply staring at the table cloth. Realising that that probably looked just as weird, he gave up and turned to look at the singer once again. Who was he kidding, restraint had never been a quality of his and it wouldn't become one now.

As he lifted his head to look at the singer again though, he was hit by instant regret, because Baekhyun was staring right back at him. Surprise was evident in both the look in his eyes and the way he ever so slightly messed up his words. It only took him a second to compose himself though, and his gaze soon shifted back to that look Chanyeol had hoped he would never have to see again. An ugly feeling made its way to his gut, and it felt like that night all over again.

Right. Chanyeol had to remind himself that, although he had made a lot of progress these past two weeks, Baekhyun didn't know about it yet. For Baekhyun, they were still at the same place they had left each other two weeks ago. And perhaps they were, perhaps things wouldn't change, but Chanyeol had changed, and that was a start.

With just one look, Baekhyun was conveying to him everything he wanted to say and everything Chanyeol didn't want to hear.  _ Why are you here? What do you want from me? I don't even want to look at you.  _ It was all loud and clear, screaming in Chanyeol’s ears, and he just wanted it all to stop. All he wanted right now was to walk up to Baekhyun, take him outside and talk to him. Fix this mess. Or maybe he just wanted the mess to fix itself so that it could finally end and Baekhyun would stop looking at him like that. He just wanted things between them to be fine again, that was all.

Still, he was the one who had ruined everything, so the least he could do was fix it. He had hurt Baekhyun, so he owed him that much.

Only when the music died down and the song came to an end did Baekhyun tear his gaze from Chanyeol’s. He whispered something to one of the band members, and Chanyeol could only assume it was most likely the next song’s name. After everyone in the band was told, they started playing again - and  _ oh. _

Chanyeol could recognise that song from the very beginning. 

_ Gee, but it's hard to love someone _

_ When that someone don't love you _

_ I'm so disgusted, heartbroken, too _

_ I've got those down-hearted blues _

Was this why Baekhyun had told the band what song to play? Why would he change the list of songs for the night on the spot? Was this… was this a message?

“Slow songs are so boring, is that why this is your favourite place Chanyeol?” Jongdae snorted and Chanyeol would have replied with an insult for his friend’s own favourite speakeasy, hadn't he been so lost in his own thoughts. Baekhyun’s voice was all he could pay attention to.

_ Once I was crazy 'bout a woman _

_ She mistreated me all the time _

_ The next woman I get has got _

_ To promise to be mine, all mine _

Of course this was a message. Even through the changed pronouns, Baekhyun’s words were loud and clear. In the way he sang it, in the way his eyes looked, in the way his gaze never left Chanyeol’s. Unforgiving, loud,  _ clear. _

And as much as it hurt, Chanyeol was determined. If suffering the hurt in Baekhyun’s eyes was what it would take to get to the end of the night when he would finally be able to talk to him, then he would go through it. 

A not so slight jab at his ribs, though, reminded him that that wasn't all he had to do tonight. It was Jongdae’s  _ discreet  _ way of getting him to focus on whatever small chat they were currently having. 

“So, Chanyeol, what do you do for a living?” the girl, Evelyn, asked him suddenly, catching him off guard. It was a forward question, a demand to get the attention he hadn't been giving them this far, and yet Baekhyun’s voice was still filling his senses.

_ Trouble, trouble, I've had it all my days _

Like a fight for his attention.

_ Trouble, trouble, I've had it all my days _

Like it wasn't obvious who it belonged to from the start.

_ It seems that trouble's going to follow me to my grave _

If there was one thing he wasn't though, that was impolite.

“I’m a bookkeeper, just like Jongdae.” he replied, turning to fully face the girl for the first time that night - completely missing the way Baekhyun’s face dropped a little.

“Oh, that's nice!” she said with faux enthusiasm, and Chanyeol couldn't help but wonder.  _ Did she even care? _

He didn't have much to respond to that, but thankfully Jongdae wasn't going to let him suffer too long. “Now, I wouldn't go that far. You and I both know I’m the one who does all the work.” his friend joked, and Chanyeol chuckled in return, not wanting to ruin their fun. 

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Dae.” he shot back lightly, and as he took a sip of his drink, he couldn't help but steal a glance at the singer. Their eyes instantly met, but Baekhyun looked away so quickly that Chanyeol almost thought he had imagined it. 

_ I got the world in a jug, the stopper's in my hand _

_ I got the world in a jug, the stopper's in my hand _

_ I'm going to hold it until you didn't come under my command _

As he sang, Chanyeol couldn't help but notice a slight change in his voice. It was barely there, and he was sure no one else had noticed it, but to him it was clear. The slight waver, the tiny loss of confidence, that wasn't how Baekhyun sang; that wasn't  _ Baekhyun. _

The song came to an end, and Chanyeol could see the way Baekhyun was trying to get himself together. What was going on in his mind at that moment, what was troubling him, what was making him falter? It was killing him that he didn't know.

He barely even registered Jongdae raising his arm beside him, until he spoke a bit too loudly for his words to be directed only to them, and he turned to stare at his friend in shock.

“May I request a song?” he asked, loudly, and Chanyeol just looked at him, frozen.  _ What was Jongdae doing? _ He could tell from Baekhyun’s raised eyebrows that the singer was thinking the same thing. 

“Sure.” Baekhyun replied calmly, though Chanyeol could tell he was judging Jongdae on the inside. It would have been funny, had it not been for their current situation.

“In the jailhouse now.” Jongdae said, and it hadn't been unexpected. Jongdae liked energetic, happy songs - but they were the only kinds of songs he liked. Everything else to him sounded boring. He was tasteless, as Chanyeol liked to lovingly call him.

And indeed, as per Jongdae’s request, the band started playing his song. 

“Love, let’s dance.” he heard Jongdae’s wife say, and soon the couple were standing up, joining the other people dancing. 

Chanyeol just stared at them for a bit, unsure what to do. The atmosphere had gotten significantly more suffocating now that he was left alone with Evelyn. Was he supposed to say something? Did they need to talk?

It seemed she had something else in her mind though. “Wanna go dance too?” she asked, and Chanyeol hoped his eyes weren't completely wide when he turned to look at her.

Dance? With her? He didn't remember that being part of the plan. “I’m sorry, I don't-” he tried, but she clearly was more determined than he had initially thought.

“Oh, come on. Let’s go.” she said, her hand touching his arm, pulling ever so slightly, and all he could think about was that he didn't want her to touch him. 

That's when he finally snapped out of it. Why was he even thinking about it? He was here to fix things with Baekhyun, not make them even worse. How could Baekhyun seeing him dancing with a random girl help the situation?

“I don't dance, sorry.” he said, stern yet still trying to be polite. He softly pulled his arm from her hold, not too obvious yet still hoping it would give her the message. Not baring the awkwardness of looking at her, he turned his gaze back to Baekhyun, who didn't even try to pretend he hadn't been staring at him. That same look was still in his eyes, and no matter how many times he saw it, it didn't hurt Chanyeol any less. Except this time, there was something else in that look too. 

At first Chanyeol couldn't decipher it, but when Baekhyun’s gaze moved to the girl next to Chanyeol for just a second, he understood. What Chanyeol had feared had happened. Baekhyun had misunderstood and the look he had given that girl couldn't be called friendly. Chanyeol couldn't help but wonder, was he  _ jealous _ ? 

The sudden need to explain himself to Baekhyun and fix this misunderstanding was so fervent that he could almost pretend the small part of himself that felt warm inside at the thought didn't exist. Almost. And yet, all he could do was stare back at Baekhyun, hoping his eyes were making it clear that he had nothing to do with that girl, instinctively moving even farther away from her.

And from the way Baekhyun seemed to relax in his seat, it must have at least partially worked. Perhaps Chanyeol needed to relax too. He had a few more hours till Baekhyun’s shift ended, what good would it do if he spent them stressed? Taking his glass of whiskey back in his hand, he drank a little more from it this time. He wouldn't get drunk, this wasn't the right night to get zozzled, but that didn't mean he couldn't enjoy a little booze.

Baekhyun had stopped looking at him by that point, Evelyn had gone to dance on her own, and he was feeling more calm than he had felt that whole night. Simply sitting there, with a glass in his hands and Baekhyun’s voice filling his senses - it almost felt like one of those regular nights, like nothing had changed.

And as he observed Baekhyun, he finally realised why he was so different from every other performer, because Baekhyun simply wasn't one of them. Baekhyun wasn't a performer, he was a singer, with everything that word meant. He wasn't theatrical, he wasn't greedy for the spotlight, he wasn't putting on a show. He wasn't there for anyone’s entertainment other than his own. He sang because it was something he loved. He sang because he appreciated the art that was music. He sang because that was his passion, his love, and he was there to show it to the world, but not to sell it. 

Baekhyun was so special because, although he hadn't once demanded anyone’s attention, he had had Chanyeol’s from the start. Somehow, in his special ways, he had made himself the only singer Chanyeol ever wanted to listen to.

And, somewhere in between all that, he had stolen Chanyeol’s sleep, Chanyeol’s thoughts, Chanyeol’s mind. He had taken over his everyday life and he had changed it. He had made Chanyeol feel all sorts of things, and he had made him question them too. In a way, he even made Chanyeol understand his own self better.

Now, Chanyeol hadn't liked that many people before in his life, at least not in that way, but if one thing was certain was that he had never felt like this before. It took a while to understand, and it still scared and confused him, but he had stopped trying to pretend it wasn't there. 

Perhaps that was why Baekhyun had stood out to him so much too. It wasn't just his style, his singing; it was also  _ Baekhyun _ . Chanyeol liked his singing, liked the way he played the piano, liked his voice; but Chanyeol also liked Baekhyun, just for Baekhyun. Liked Baekhyun for the few conversations they had had so far, for his revulsion at the thought of Moonshine, for the confidence in his attitude, for his odd outlook on life.

_ We're in the jailhouse now _

_ We're in the jailhouse now _

_ They told us once or twice _

_ To quit playin' cards and shootin' dice _

_ We're in the jailhouse now _

And as he sang the last words of the song, there was no longer a doubt in Chanyeol’s mind. He liked Baekhyun.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Time didn't seem to be passing fast enough. As Jongdae and the others were busy dancing, he was left alone at the table with nothing to do but drink and admire the music. In a way, it seemed so much like all those other times. It had been far too long since Chanyeol had last visited and this was the closest he had felt to the singer in the past two weeks. But, at the same time, it was also the furthest. This would have been the perfect opportunity for him to let go for a little, to let himself loosen up before he had to face Baekhyun. And yet he couldn't. 

This was so similar to all those other times, but so different. He was so close, yet so far. And something about that feeling was even worse than feeling nothing at all. It was twisted, new and unfamiliar. He didn't like it, but he couldn't ignore it. And the minutes felt like hours.

It was getting so unbearable that when Jongdae and the girls came back to the table he felt relieved. Awkwardness and discomfort surrounded them, the ice wall that had grown between Evelyn and himself apparent to the other two as well, and yet he was grateful for it. Grateful for the tension because, although it wasn't enough to cover the unsettling feeling in his heart, it was still enough to distract him. Even temporarily.

“It’s getting late.” Jongdae spoke as he chugged down the last of his drink. “We should probably get going.”

“Oh…” Chanyeol said absentmindedly, observing as all three of them got up and started putting on their coats. “Alright.” was all he said.

Jongdae turned to look at him with a raised eyebrow. “You’re not coming?” he asked, and Chanyeol shook his head as he turned his eyes to his own drink.

“No, I-” he swallowed, playing with the glass in his hands. “I think I’ll stay a little longer.”

Jongdae looked at him for a few more seconds, trying to communicate with his eyes, only to receive no reply from Chanyeol and give up. “Alright.” he said, much to Chanyeol’s relief. “Have a good night then.”

They all bid him goodbye and, without another word, they were out the door.

“Goodnight.” Chanyeol mumbled, probably a little too late for them to have heard him, but he didn't really care. He couldn't. With his only distraction gone and the end of the night getting closer, his nerves were reaching new heights. 

He took a look at his pocket watch and realised that in about half an hour Baekhyun’s shift would end. There was too little yet too much time left. Anxiousness settled deep in his stomach and, lord, he hated that feeling. He couldn't tell if he just wanted to get things over with or if he needed more time. He took hold of his glass and placed it on his lips, only to realise that it was empty. He had promised himself not to get drunk, and he wouldn't, but he really needed a drink at that moment. One more. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Just when he was about to break his promise and get yet another drink, the music stopped and silence filled the room. The song had come to an end, but the band wasn't starting a new one. He watched as Baekhyun got up from his seat and wished the audience a good night, before walking off to the staff room.

Chanyeol shot up from his chair, a tad too hastily to seem normal, and headed to the counter to pay for all the drinks. He didn't remember agreeing with Jongdae that this was his turn to pay, but he couldn't care less about that in that moment. Collecting himself, he took a deep breath before gathering his things and getting out of the bar, thankful that he didn't knock anything over in the way.

And then he was out in the cold air, standing a few feet away from the door and waiting. Time had never seemed to go by slower than in that moment. Those five minutes were lasting so long that he had started to wonder if there was a back door for the people who worked at the bar. Baekhyun always came out of this one though, so why would that change? He was in the middle of an internal fight with himself when-

“You’re still here.” a voice broke the silence, and Chanyeol had never turned around so fast in his life. So much for being calm and composed, he thought.

“Baekhyun, hi.” he breathed, hands unconsciously balling into fists inside his pockets. 

“Hey… Haven't seen you here in a while.” Baekhyun looked at him for a split second, before averting his gaze to anywhere but Chanyeol. His voice was lower than usual, lacking that something it normally had that made it so like the singer.

“I know I was…” he tried to meet his eyes, but to no avail. “I took some time to think things through.”

“Right.” Baekhyun took his hat off and ran his fingers through his hair. “Why are you here, Chanyeol?” he huffed and finally turned to look at Chanyeol, but exasperation wasn't something Chanyeol liked seeing in his eyes.

“I wanted to talk to you.” he felt so small under Baekhyun’s gaze. Any sort of confidence he had tried to build up was going down the drain. “I understand if you don't want to-”

“No, I- I do.” Baekhyun cut him off, his voice softer than before, his gaze not so suffocating. “I want to.”

It was baffling how quickly Baekhyun’s voice could reassure him, but he couldn't say he hated it.

“Alright, uhm… Where to start?” he chuckled nervously, gripping the insides of his pocket with his hands to keep them from fidgeting. He had rehearsed what he was going to say in his head so many times, but in that moment he couldn't even think of a word to say. His gaze dropped to the floor as he tried to collect his thoughts, yet all he could do was stare at Baekhyun’s shoes.

He lifted his head to glance at the singer, only to find him staring back at him. He didn't seem annoyed though, or tired. His eyes were patient, and something about them made Chanyeol relax.

“So uhm,” he cleared his throat, “these past two weeks, I thought a lot about what happened. About what you said, what I said,  _ everything.”  _ he moved his hands in the air, partly to explain, yet mostly to release some of the tension in his body. “For days, your words wouldn't leave my mind. It took me longer than I’d like to admit to realise that it was because you were right.” he stopped for a moment to look at Baekhyun, but his eyes weren't revealing much. 

His gaze dropped back to the ground. This was the hard part - the part when he had to explain, and could only hope that Baekhyun would understand. 

“You see, before that night, I had never thought much about - you know - people like that. The only times I did was when I’d hear my family or other people talk about them - and you can imagine the things they’d say weren't exactly nice. And, in a way, their words affected me.” he felt so foolish to say that, he couldn't bear to look up at Baekhyun; couldn't bear to see the way the singer was possibly looking at him. “This isn't an excuse in any way.” he stammered lightly. “This is only an explanation. I’m well aware it’s all my fault for never before looking beyond their words. But I now see why they feel that way and I know better than to agree with them.”

“Why?” Baekhyun asked softly, and Chanyeol raised his head to look at him, confused. “Why do they feel that way?” 

“Because people don't like what’s different from them.” Chanyeol whispered, conscious of his words, unsure of just what was going on in Baekhyun’s head. “But I’m not like that, Baekhyun; not anymore at least. And I’m really sorry for everything I said. I didn't really mean it then and I certainly don't mean it now. I just really wanted you to know that I’m sorry.” his voice got smaller as he spoke, Baekhyun’s gaze that had left his eyes and was now stuck at what had to be a particularly interesting piece of the ground making him lose his little confidence.

“It’s alright.” he suddenly heard, a voice so small and hesitant that he almost missed it.

“What?”

“It’s alright, Chanyeol.” hearing his own name wasn't meant to sting like that, but something about Baekhyun’s eyes as he finally looked at him again made it all okay. Something about them looked so much like the Baekhyun Chanyeol knew, and that was enough to overpower the bitterness. “Most people think the way your family does. We all grew up hearing the same things, and I once believed in them too. Where you were before, where you are right now, I’ve been there. But it’s not what they taught us to believe that matters. What we choose to believe when we’re old enough to see past their words - that’s what matters.”

There was something about his voice and something about his eyes. Something so soft yet so alive, so alike Baekhyun. And Chanyeol would be damned to let that go ever again.

“You’re right.” he whispered. He just felt so relieved that Baekhyun understood.

“Of course I am, I’m always right.” The sarcasm in his tone was back, and Chanyeol couldn't help but laugh. The singer laughed with him, and Chanyeol had never felt such a big weight leaving his shoulders before.

Baekhyun sighed as his laughter died down. “Thank you for telling me all that, Chanyeol.”

And, name be damned, Baekhyun’s smile was enough to block away all the cold.

“Thank you for understanding.” he whispered, and he almost felt like he was under a spell. 

“Also, Chanyeol…” Baekhyun fiddled with the hat in his hands, glancing once at the ground before staring right in his eyes. “I just wanted to apologise properly for what I did that night. Regardless of what happened afterwards, it was wrong of me to assume and not ask for your consent first.”

Right…  _ that.  _ How could Chanyeol explain to him?

“You don't have to be.” he whispered, a frown making its way to Baekhyun’s face.

“But what I did was wrong.” he countered.

“I know but you weren't fully… nevermind.” He couldn't say it, but Baekhyun didn't seem like he would drop the topic anytime soon. “It was wrong of you to assume but your assumption itself wasn't… completely…  _ wrong. _ ” his words were fading as he spoke, and even he could barely hear himself.

“Chanyeol…” Baekhyun tried to look at him but Chanyeol refused to lift his gaze off the ground. “What are you trying to say?” he asked, softly, almost as if he was talking to a child.

“I think you know what I’m trying to say.” Chanyeol whispered, and he could feel how red his face had gotten.

He felt a hesitant hand on his jaw, touch feather light as it lifted his head. His eyes met Baekhyun’s and he almost stopped breathing, but before he knew it the touch was gone. 

“Chanyeol, are you saying that…” Baekhyun’s gaze was so intense that it felt like he could see right through him. He could tell that the singer was holding back, keeping a distance, unsure and not wanting to make him uncomfortable, and he was dying to tell him that he didn't need to.

“I mean, I think so? I’m not really sure. I’m still confused and lost and I don't want to drag you into my mess but-”

“Hey, hey.” Baekhyun cut him off, his hands finding his elbows and rubbing them soothingly; grounding him. “That’s alright.” His voice had never been so soft before. “You can take all the time you need figuring things out. I know how complicated it can be at first, but it will get better.” There was a light in his eyes that made Chanyeol want to trust him with his everything. “Let’s just go back to how things were for a start, and take everything from there - at your pace. How does that sound?”

Chanyeol’s heart felt oddly full and he couldn't explain it, but he was starting to like the feeling. “Sounds good.” he whispered, and Baekhyun’s smile had never seemed so beautiful.

The silence they slipped into wasn't awkward this time, nor was it scary. It was comfortable. Now that his nerves weren't distracting him anymore, though, the cold was starting to become way more apparent. 

Baekhyun must have noticed it too. “It’s late, we should get going.” his hands left Chanyeol’s elbows and he put his hat back on. “Are you driving home?”

“No, I came with Jongdae’s car.” Chanyeol shrugged, stuffing his hands back in his pockets. He could most certainly feel the cold now. “I’ll just walk though, it’s fine.” 

“No you won't, it’s freezing.” Baekhyun laughed lightly, wrapping himself tighter in his coat as if to accentuate his words. “I can drive you.” he suggested, motioning towards what could only be his car. Black, shiny, elegant - it fit him in a way Chanyeol couldn't explain. He was a firm believer that cars showed a lot about a person, though, and Baekhyun’s choice couldn't be a bigger proof to his theory.

“You don't have to.” he lowered his eyes, almost sheepishly. “I’d hate to be a bother.”

“A bother?” he chuckled. “Trust me Chanyeol, you’re anything but a bother to me. Now, come on?” 

Chanyeol wasn't saying anything, but Baekhyun could see the little smile starting to form on his lips. “I don't suppose you’re doubting my driving skills now, are you?”

Chanyeol couldn't help but snort, as he lifted his eyes to find Baekhyun’s. “I would never.” 

“That’s what I thought.” Baekhyun smirked, full of that confidence he always had, and turned to head to his car. 

Chanyeol might have ever so slightly frozen in his tracks. Baekhyun turned to face him as he continued walking.

“Are you coming then?”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The ride home was rather quiet, except for Chanyeol’s directions every now and then. Baekhyun’s car wasn't particularly warmer than the outside, but Chanyeol was grateful it at least had windows. It was comfortable, and he was even starting to get used to the cold.

He hadn't even realised they had arrived when Baekhyun suddenly broke the silence. “Let me know where to stop.” 

As Chanyeol became more aware of their surroundings, he noticed they were at his road. “Here, here it is.” 

He watched as Baekhyun parked the car right in front of his house. He was ready to bid him goodbye and leave to avoid any awkward silence, but the singer beat him to it.

“Funny, and I thought your house was in the complete opposite direction.” he said as he glanced around him from the window, and Chanyeol was so grateful he wasn't looking at him because he was certainly flushing a deep red at that moment.  _ Hell _ , he had completely forgotten about that.

“No, it’s… right here.” he tittered nervously, hoping Baekhyun wouldn't notice. 

“Oh well, that's a pretty house you’ve got.” was all Baekhyun said as he looked at him, gleaming in the dark of the night.

“Thanks.” 

There was a pause but Baekhyun didn't allow the silence to envelop them this time.

“So, can I hope to see you again anytime soon, or will I have to wait for another two weeks?” he was joking, but Chanyeol could tell part of it was serious.

He chuckled nonetheless. “You won't. I’ll come by tomorrow?”

Something in Baekhyun’s eyes made Chanyeol feel warm all over. “I’d like that.” he breathed, almost too small for Chanyeol to hear, yet at the same time almost overwhelming.

Chanyeol could barely hold back a smile. “I should get going. Thank you for the ride.”

“Don't mention it.” Baekhyun shook his head, placing his hands back on the wheel. “Have a good night Chanyeol.”

“You too.” He said, so low it could almost be a whisper, getting out of the car and using all his strength not to look back as he made his way to the front door of the house. And when he unlocked the door and got inside the house, only then did he allow himself to look at Baekhyun, who was just starting to drive off.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Knocking on his door was the last thing he expected to hear first thing in the morning. Then again, opening his eyes and looking out of his window he realised that perhaps it wasn't all that early after all. 

Last night’s events came to him one by one, making him feel all sorts of different ways and settling for a light hotness in his ears when he remembered how the night had come to an end.

Then the knocking came back, more insistent than before. People rarely visited his house, so who the hell could it be? He had half the mind to put on some regular clothes before he made his way to the living room to get the door.

“Jongdae?” he asked when he opened the door and was met with his friend.

“Elated to see me?” Jongdae smiled as he walked past Chanyeol and inside his house. Chanyeol knew that smile all too well. The  _ I need a favour  _ smile - a dreaded sight, truly.

“Always but-” he closed the door, watching as Jongdae made himself comfortable in his house. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, invading your house of course.” Jongdae sounded a little too casual about it as he plopped onto Chanyeol’s couch.

“You’re what?” Chanyeol asked, taking a seat on the opposite side of the couch. “May I ask why?” 

“Because, seeing as last night’s double date wasn't as much of a success, Evelyn has now decided to camp at our house and Ruth refuses to tell her to leave, so in return I’m camping at yours.”

“What- Why would she stay at your house?”

“According to Ruth, she needs her friend to be there for her or something like that. I don't know man.” Jongdae shrugged, looking bored at best.

Still, Chanyeol couldn't help but feel slightly guilty. “Jongdae, I didn't mean to-”

“Don't you dare apologise, Park Chanyeol.” Jongdae was quick to cut him off, almost as if he had been expecting it. “It was a potential date, not a slave offering. It just didn't work out, that's all. You didn't owe her anything.” 

“Right.” 

Chanyeol's guilt was still showing, and Jongdae wouldn't accept that.

“Ruth thinks so too. She’s just trying to cheer her friend up.” he explained. “And, hopefully, trying to get her to leave our house by night-time too.”

Chanyeol couldn't help but laugh. “I’m glad you understand.”

Jongdae only shrugged as he got up from the couch. “Of course I do. Aren't I your best friend?”

“You sure are.” Chanyeol’s gaze wandered to Jongdae heading to the kitchen.

“So, what do you have to eat?”

Chanyeol chuckled as he got up to stop Jongdae from ruining his kitchen.

“You do realise you’re not staying here, right?” 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


His day with Jongdae was… unsurprisingly a mess, but at least his friend had had the courtesy to leave at some point in the afternoon. Apart from the horrors that came from them trying to cook, he was actually grateful for Jongdae’s company throughout the day. Still, that didn't stop him from showing him to the door the second he mentioned how his “husband instincts” were telling him he should get home. He could only hope Evelyn had left or he would have to suffer Jongdae’s complaining throughout his entire work day tomorrow.

All thoughts about Jongdae left his mind, however, the moment his favourite bar came into sight. Getting to go there without worrying made him feel warm inside, he couldn't really explain it. And as he walked inside the familiar club and heard a certain someone’s voice, the feeling only intensified.

He made his way to his seat at the bar, just like all those other times before. His eyes were probably playing tricks on him but even the bartender seemed strangely glad to see him. He averted his gaze elsewhere as he took his hat off.

“I see you’re back.” he heard from behind him, and turned to be met with the bartender he had just stopped looking at.

“I am.” he responded, somewhat confused.

“Not to bother, it’s just that losing regulars isn't all that good for the bar. I’m sure you can imagine.” he laughed as he wiped a glass with a towel.

“I bet it’s not.” Chanyeol chuckled, just a little uneasy at the sudden conversation.

“Stop making our customers uncomfortable, Sehun.” he heard from beside him, and he instantly turned to the voice, only to be met with Baekhyun standing next to him.

“Says you.” the bartender -  _ Sehun -  _ scoffed, before walking away to take someone else’s order, and Baekhyun just laughed as he took the seat next to Chanyeol.

Chanyeol wondered if they were friends. They started working at the bar at around the same time and they saw each other every day, so it wouldn't be surprising if they were.

“I have to admit,” Baekhyun’s voice shook him out of his thoughts, “it feels oddly relieving to see you here again.”

All his previous thoughts went out the window at that, a light flush on his cheeks as he looked at Baekhyun whose eyes seemed focused on something else.

“And here I thought I’d never see you touch a coffee mug again.” he smiled, and Chanyeol turned to see that his drink was on the counter.

“This? Oh it’s not coffee.” he chuckled, feeling his face already start to heat up. “It’s hot chocolate.”

Baekhyun’s laugh was like a melody to his beet red ears. 

“I can't say I’m surprised.” Chanyeol took a sip from his hot chocolate, trying to distract himself from the blinding grin on Baekhyun’s face in an attempt not to fall off his chair or do something equally as embarrassing.

“It’s nice to have you back Chanyeol.”

He couldn't help the shy smile that tugged at his lips. “It’s nice to be back.”

He tried not to stare as Baekhyun ordered a drink of his own, but was clearly caught redhanded when the singer turned to face him again. 

“So, how was your day Chanyeol?” Baekhyun was asking a casual question but Chanyeol was trying not to wince at the memories.

“I think surprisingly eventful would be a good way to describe it.”

“How so?” Baekhyun asked, intrigued.

“All I can say is me and Jongdae almost burnt the kitchen trying to make something to eat.” 

“Oh wow.” Baekhyun laughed, clearly surprised. “Are you that bad cooks?”

Chanyeol’s almost burnt kitchen wouldn't let him dare claim otherwise.

“You could certainly say so, yes.” he chuckled, mostly at himself. “And you?”

“Well, I wouldn't say cooking is my strong point either, but I do have a selected few meals that I can cook pretty well if I say so myself.” he moved around in his seat, deep in thought, before averting all his attention to Chanyeol again. “You must know, though, I take great pride in my Chicken à la King.”

Chanyeol couldn't help but laugh at the confidence in his statement “Really?” 

“You don't believe me? First you doubt my driving skills and now my cooking. I must admit, Chanyeol, I’m a little hurt.” he clutched his own shirt over his heart in exaggeration, looking almost like those silent film actors.

“Not to offend you,” Chanyeol took another sip of his drink, “but I only believe what I’ve seen with my own two eyes.”

The smile that decorated Baekhyun’s face this time was a challenging one, his eyes sparkling with a newfound excitement. “Is that so?” he asked, glancing at the glass in his hands before going back to stare right through Chanyeol’s soul. “I must prove myself to you then, don't you think?”

“And how would you do that?” Chanyeol could tell from the way Baekhyun’s smile widened that he had been waiting for that specific question.

“By cooking for you, of course.” he would have almost come off as casual if he hadn't had that look on his face. “My house, tomorrow night. What do you say?”

Now, Chanyeol didn't think he could be blamed for almost spilling his hot chocolate all over himself when his brain processed Baekhyun’s words. Was he inviting him to his house?

“D-Don't you have work?” he stuttered.

“No. It’s your lucky day, I’m off work tomorrow.” Baekhyun grinned, and Chanyeol was probably losing his mind because he could swear there were stars in his eyes. “So?”

“Alright.” Chanyeol breathed, and why was Baekhyun standing up?

“Alright. Well, I have to get back now, but we can discuss the details at the end of my shift. If you’ll still be here?” he asked, hopeful, and that warmth made its way back to Chanyeol’s heart tenfold.

“Sure.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


It was baffling how quick the next night came, and Chanyeol found himself staring at his closet a tad sooner than he had expected. After about half an hour and at least five different fits, he realised there was no point in struggling to choose what to wear, when all he owned were suits and dress pants. He finally settled for a classic black suit - he couldn't possibly go wrong with that.

After taking one last look at the mirror and trying his best to rid himself of all his fears, he finally left his house. Trying to keep his mind occupied with anything that wasn't Baekhyun was a feat in itself, and before he knew it he had reached Baekhyun’s house.

Ringing a doorbell had never seemed as intimidating as it did in that moment, but he did it. He awkwardly fixed his suit as he waited for Baekhyun, trying to make out any sound from inside but not hearing much. And then, the door opened.

“Hi.” Chanyeol spoke before he even saw Baekhyun, and he was glad he hadn't waited because, now that he  _ had  _ seen him, he wasn't so sure he could speak anymore.

Perhaps his state was affecting his vision too, because he could swear Baekhyun had also frozen; if just for a moment.

“Hello.” the singer smiled at last, making way for Chanyeol to get inside. “Come on in.”

He did just that, taking off his hat and walking in as Baekhyun stepped to the side. He felt fingers lightly grazing his own as Baekhyun took his hat out of his hold, and all he could do was hope that the way his breath hitched had gone unnoticed.

“Let me take that.” Baekhyun said as he waited for Chanyeol to take his coat off too, before placing them both on the coat stand.

“Thank you.” he fiddled slightly with the hems of his suit jacket, unsure of what to do with himself.

“Make yourself at home, Chanyeol. Food’s almost ready.” Baekhyun walked past him with a smile, heading towards what looked like the kitchen. Somehow, hearing Baekhyun call him that was only getting more and more unbearable.

“Do you need any help with the food?” 

“How will I prove my skills to you if you help me?” he laughed, and Chanyeol opted for staying in the living room.

He tried to distract himself by looking around, observing Baekhyun’s house. The couches, the book shelf, the carpet; everything about it felt classy yet cosy at the same time. That house felt so much like Baekhyun in a way that he couldn't explain, and the thought was making his insides fill with warmth. His attention was caught by something else, though.

“You have a radio?”

A chuckle could be heard coming from the kitchen. “Of course I do. And you don't?” Baekhyun asked incredulously. “I thought everybody had one these days.”

“You’re not wrong about that… I don't know why I never got one, actually.” Chanyeol said, deep in thought as he observed the radio. It was quite large, almost a meter tall, and it didn't quite look like the newer ones everyone had. Rather, it looked quite old, but definitely not abandoned. He could tell Baekhyun took care of it. “I haven't seen a radio like this in quite some time.”

Baekhyun’s scoff barely reached his ears, but it didn't go unnoticed. “I have had it for quite a while, that's true.” he could hear plates being taken out of cupboards. “I bought it when I was sixteen. Spent two years collecting money, got it in parts, put it together and all that. When i first bought it I spent two whole weeks in my room trying to make it work and listening to the different stations.” There was a certain fondness in his voice, and Chanyeol could hear his smile. “I must admit, younger me was in love with that thing.”

The mental image of a teenage Baekhyun trying to assemble that radio, changing the frequencies to hear something that wasn't white noise, jumping up enthusiastically when he found a station and looking at his radio as if it were the stars and moon and everything in between; it was warming up his heart in funny ways.

“You must really like jazz.” he spoke absentmindedly, only slightly enamoured. 

He wasn't in a much different situation himself, trying to find a station yet only getting noise, clearly not knowing how radios worked; though he was sure his image was less heart warming than teenage Baekhyun’s.

“Like?” present Baekhyun’s laugh shook him out of his trance. “I love jazz. I mean, if you asked anyone at this day and age they would probably tell you they love it too, but for me…” Chanyeol could see him from the living room, leaning against the kitchen counter, waving his hands in the air as if it would help explain his feelings. “For me, it’s something more than that.”

And really, Chanyeol couldn't be blamed for staring in the way he was. Baekhyun had never seemed more at ease before, more in his element, and Chanyeol was captivated. 

“I’m boring you, aren't I?” Baekhyun chuckled as he pushed himself from the counter and walked towards Chanyeol, crouching next to him.

“No, not at all.” Chanyeol hoped his racing heart would go unnoticed, looking at everything but Baekhyun’s eyes to try and stay calm. “I-I like hearing you talk.” he whispered without realising, his skin reddening furiously at the sound of his own words.

At the lack of a response from Baekhyun, he lifted his head to meet his eyes, only to see that Baekhyun was now looking at something beside him. The light blush on his face couldn't be missed though, and Chanyeol was almost left speechless. A flustered Baekhyun was a rare sight but Chanyeol already loved it.

“Here you go.” Baekhyun spoke so quietly that Chanyeol almost missed it, straightening his legs and heading towards the kitchen again. Only then did Chanyeol realise Baekhyun had twisted one of the knobs on the radio and finally turned the noise to music. 

“I mean,” he got up, following Baekhyun to the kitchen, taking a seat on one of the chairs and not so discreetly staring at Baekhyun’s back as he prepared the food. “It’s always nice to hear people talk about the things they love. It’s when they’re most comfortable.”

“ _ Right? _ ” Baekhyun agreed, glancing over his shoulder at Chanyeol. “It’s too bad not everyone sees it that way, though.”

Chanyeol frowned at that, confused. “What do you mean?”

“It’s nothing, really.” Baekhyun tried to shake it off, changing his mind a moment later. “Just… When I first started looking for a job as a singer and visiting different bars, most owners weren't particularly fond of my singing. They said I wasn't exciting enough, wasn't  _ entertaining. _ ” Chanyeol could hear the grimace on his face even without seeing it. “And, trust me when I say that I love the singers who are like that, but not everyone has the same approach to music. My approach might be less popular, but why should that be an issue?” 

Chanyeol observed as Baekhyun sighed, searching the cupboards for something. “It’s just saddening to see that with how popular jazz has gotten, it has become like this box, this…  _ category  _ that not all of us fit in. Younger me couldn't understand that, and simply thought I just wasn't any good.” he chuckled and turned to face Chanyeol, supporting his weight on the counter once again. 

Chanyeol couldn't possibly imagine any bar not wanting Baekhyun.

He moved around in his chair, uneasy at the thought of a hurt Baekhyun. “If it’s any consolation,” he started, wanting the memory to leave Baekhyun’s mind, even if temporarily, “it was exactly that thing they rejected you for that first drew me to you; that caught my attention.”

“Really?” Baekhyun asked, looking awfully surprised and…  _ vulnerable? _

“Of course. It stood out right away.” he said, and Baekhyun’s smile could probably light up the whole New York City in that moment. 

“Thank you, Chanyeol. It means a lot.” 

Chanyeol’s heart was dangerously close to exploding, but he did his best to return the smile.

“Food must be ready.” Baekhyun broke eye contact, turning his back to him, and Chanyeol could swear that that light pink blush was adorning his skin again. 

After putting the food in plates, Baekhyun at least let Chanyeol help with making the table. The conversation had gotten lighter and the singer was back to his usual self. Chanyeol had to admit he liked both sides of him though. 

But right when he was about to take his first bite of Baekhyun's self proclaimed masterpiece, he got cut off. 

“Wait, one second.” Baekhyun shot up from his chair, looking at one of the lower cupboards for something. “How could I forget?” he muttered to himself as he looked through the shelves, before turning around and presenting two bottles to Chanyeol. “Red or white?”

_ Wine _ . How on earth had he managed to get wine? “How-”

“Oh come on, Chanyeol. Wine barely even counts as booze.” The oh so innocent smile on his face was almost entertaining. “Besides, we need something to accompany our dinner, right?”

Chanyeol would be lying if he said he actually cared about the Prohibition anyways, so who cared? “White.”

“Good choice.” Baekhyun turned around to get two glasses and,  _ lord _ , why did he have to make Chanyeol feel all sorts of ways?

Sharing wine was somehow far more intimate than any other kind of drink. Maybe it was something about the elegant glasses or maybe it was because they were alone, but wine had never tasted so good before.

Baekhyun took the first sip of his wine, his eyes never leaving Chanyeol’s, before motioning with his glass towards the food. “Enjoy.”

And so Chanyeol did just that, taking his first bite and looking up to see Baekhyun stare at him expectantly, almost like a child. 

“I must admit,” he paused, enjoying the way Baekhyun seemed almost on the edge of his seat, “this really is the best Chicken á la King I’ve ever had.”

“Told you.” Baekhyun smiled proudly, and Chanyeol couldn't help but laugh.

Dinner went away like that, before Chanyeol could even process it. They talked nonstop, about small things and more serious things alike, not once running out of topics. They laughed a lot, too, the wine not enough to get them drunk but enough to place a pink cloud over everything.

They kept talking for hours after their food was over, not noticing the time that was passing and not caring. It was so nice, talking to Baekhyun like this, spending so much time with him and without anyone else around. Chanyeol could really get used to this. 

He didn't realise how late it had gotten until a neighbour knocked on Baekhyun’s door to tell him to turn the radio down. They might have laughed a little too much after that to be considered sober, but they didn't care. Glancing at the clock on the wall behind Baekhyun’s head was enough to shake Chanyeol out of his slight trance, though, as he finally saw the time.

“Oh lord.” he laughed, disbelieving.

“What?” Baekhyun asked, chuckling too for no other reason than the alcohol in his blood. 

“The time.”

Baekhyun glanced behind himself. “Oh, shit.” it was his turn to laugh, and really, they hadn't drunk enough to lose their thinking abilities, but they were at that stage when everything seemed just a tad funnier than it actually was.

“I should get going.” Chanyeol drank the rest of the wine in his glass, and Baekhyun only hummed in approval.

“Right.” Baekhyun played with the glass in his own hands as Chanyeol started standing up. “I wouldn't want you falling asleep at work tomorrow.” 

He got up too, following Chanyeol outside the kitchen and into the living room. They stopped right in front of the door, Chanyeol turning around and facing Baekhyun. 

“So…” he started, unsure of what to say. Baekhyun was staring at him just a little more intensely than he was used to, and he suddenly felt painfully sober.

“This was nice.” The look in Baekhyun’s eyes was making it hard for Chanyeol to breathe. “We should do it again some time.”

“We should.” he breathed, and the silence that fell over them was making the erratic beating of his heart all the more obvious.

“Oh, right.” Baekhyun’s voice broke the silence, and Chanyeol could only look at him as he took his coat from the stand. “Here you go, Chanyeol.” he said, offering him his coat with his outstretched hand.

Chanyeol took it and started to put it on, trying his best to ignore the slight pain that had just settled in his heart. He kept on telling himself it didn't matter, it wasn't important, but it still bothered him. It bothered him because he could hear Baekhyun holding back every time he said it, he could hear him being careful, conscious, and he hated it. It was only a reminder of what had happened, and he didn't want Baekhyun to control what he said around him anymore.

“Baekhyun,” he muttered, hesitant, as Baekhyun helped him put on his coat.

“Yes?” the singer questioned, sliding Chanyeol’s hand in the other sleeve and waiting for him to face him again.

Chanyeol wasn't sure how to say this, wasn't even sure if he  _ could  _ say it.

“Chanyeol?” 

He had to say it.

“I hate it when you call me Chanyeol.” it was barely a whisper, and he couldn't help but avert his gaze, unable to look at Baekhyun in that moment.

Still, the lack of a response made him look up after all, needing some sort of a reaction. 

At first glance, the shock was apparent in Baekhyun’s eyes, but it soon changed to something else, something Chanyeol couldn't quite read. The singer took a small step closer to him, slow, quiet, and it took all Chanyeol had to keep himself from taking a step back in return. His breath was caught in his throat, and if Baekhyun didn't do something soon, he would probably explode. 

Chanyeol braced himself as Baekhyun opened his mouth to speak.

“I hate it too.”

It was a mere whisper, but Chanyeol didn't even manage to process it, because in the next moment, a pair of lips was on his own. It was all happening so quickly and he couldn't even think. His mind was empty and all he could process was Baekhyun. Baekhyun’s smell filling his senses, Baekhyun’s body so close to his, Baekhyun’s lips stealing his breath away. 

It was over before he even processed it was happening, and the emptiness he felt the moment Baekhyun’s mouth left his was something he never wanted to feel again.

He would’ve almost thought it hadn't happened, weren't it for Baekhyun’s breath fanning his face, his lips still so close to his own yet not close enough to touch.

“Sugar.” Baekhyun breathed and Chanyeol almost wanted to cry at the realisation of just how much he had missed that name. He probably would have, if he wasn't so far gone. “Is this okay?” he asked, his eyes meeting Chanyeol’s hesitantly, and Chanyeol was almost certain his heart would beat out of his chest at any moment.

“Yes.” Chanyeol said, quick, desperate. “Please.”

And Baekhyun didn't need to be told twice, as he went back to kissing Chanyeol in seconds. It was more passionate this time, desperate, the way Baekhyun's lips moved against his own, and Chanyeol’s heart was exploding. His senses were going into overdrive and he could barely process everything at once. Baekhyun’s hands had found his face, their bodies were touching, and Chanyeol could swear he could see sparks on the backs of his eyelids. He had always thought Jongdae had been lying about those fireworks, but now he understood.

The kiss was fervent, craving, but it wasn't hard. Something about the way Baekhyun was kissing him, something about the way his lips were moving against his own, nipping, tasting,  _ exploring;  _ it was so sweet, and it was making Chanyeol feel like he had never been touched before. In front of this, everything else seemed pointless.

Chanyeol never wanted this to end, as Baekhyun’s hands fell from where they were cradling his face and grabbed the lapels of his coat instead, pulling him impossibly close. Chanyeol’s hands fell on his shoulders, in an attempt to anchor himself as much as he possibly could. 

It was almost painfully hesitant when Baekhyun pulled away to breathe, not distancing himself any more than necessary and resting his forehead on Chanyeol’s, lifting his eyes to meet the big ones staring back at him. Only then did Chanyeol realise how much he needed to breathe, as they both panted against each other’s mouths. 

Baekhyun glanced down, realising they were still holding each other, and he couldn't help the giggle that left his mouth. He bit his lip as he looked back at Chanyeol, who looked far too dazed but smiled back at last.

“This was…” Baekhyun started, slightly in a trance himself.

“Yeah.” Chanyeol chuckled, and perhaps the effects of the alcohol in their bodies hadn't worn off completely just yet, because they were laughing again.

Baekhyun’s gaze turned serious again for a moment as he observed Chanyeol. “Sugar,” a weak pound of Chanyeol’s spent heart, “if it ever gets too much for you, you will let me know, right?” 

He was conscious, but Chanyeol couldn't help but smile wider. “I will, don't worry.” he wrapped his hands that had been resting on Baekhyun’s shoulders around his neck. “I promise.”

“Alright then.” Baekhyun whispered, and his smile was blinding, more carefree than ever before. Chanyeol decided that he liked seeing Baekhyun like this the most; carefree and not holding back.

“I hate to say this, but” it took all of Chanyeol’s self restraint to take one of his hands off of Baekhyun and get his hat from the coat stand. “I have to go.”

“Right.” Baekhyun let go of Chanyeol’s coat, albeit hesitantly, and took a tiny step back. 

Chanyeol wasn't sure what to do. Should he leave? Just like that? “I’ll get going then.” he said, starting to turn around only to be cut off by a chuckle and baekhyun's hands on his arm. 

Hands found their way to his cheeks for the second time that night, and his eyes fluttered closed when he felt Baekhyun kissing him again. It was softer than before, innocent and short, but Chanyeol still felt tingles all over his body.

“Have a good night, sugar.” Baekhyun smiled as he pulled away, smoothing the part of Chanyeol’s coat that he had been grabbing.

Chanyeol’s heart felt so full. “You too.”

He turned around and opened the door, sparing Baekhyun one last glance before heading to his car.

It was safe to say he didn't get any sleep that night.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Going to work the next morning had probably not been one of his brightest ideas. It took Jongdae mere seconds to realise that something was going on with his best friend and, really, Chanyeol had expected it. The questions, the innuendos, the looks directed his way by Jongdae; they had all been expected. He had never been good at lying and it wouldn't change now.

It wasn't that much of a problem, though. Chanyeol knew that if he avoided Jongdae’s questions long enough, his friend would give up and push the thoughts to the back of his head to use for further investigation at some other time. Chanyeol would worry about that time when it actually came. In the meantime, he could settle with Jongdae getting tired of nagging him as a solution. 

As thankful as he was that the questions stopped rather quickly though, he couldn't help but mind the looks. Really, it was his fault, but regardless of what he tried to do he just couldn't concentrate. He couldn't even blame Jongdae for the weird looks he was giving him anymore; not when he had just asked him to repeat the same sentence for the fourth time. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop his thoughts from drifting to Baekhyun and to everything that had happened last night.

Needless to say Jongdae would have to repeat himself for a fifth time, and Chanyeol could only be grateful that his friend was a man of patience.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


They both finished work rather early that night, and Chanyeol had to physically stop himself from driving to the bar at seven in the afternoon. 

After successfully avoiding the bar and making it home though, he didn't know what to do to distract himself. Did time always pass this slowly? He was unsure, but he was starting to think that staring at his wall for two hours wasn't exactly a smart idea. 

A nap suddenly didn't seem like half that bad of an idea, as he felt his eyelids slightly drop. He did need to cover up for the amount of sleep he hadn't gotten last night, after all.

However, it suddenly didn't seem like all that good of an idea when he woke up and saw the pitch black sky out his window. He jumped up from the couch, no longer in that relaxing haze of sleep as he frantically searched the pocket of his coat for his watch. He almost dropped it when it read five in the morning.  _ Hell,  _ he hadn't meant to cover up for an entire night’s worth of lost sleep. 

Disheartened, he plopped back down on the couch. He couldn't believe he had slept through the entire night. 

He couldn't help but wonder if Baekhyun noticed. 

He turned to lay on his stomach with a sigh, closing his eyes as he buried his face in the couch in annoyance. He was never sleeping again.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The day went by surprisingly quickly. They had a little more work than usual, so he was occupied for most of the day. He also wasn't nearly as distracted as yesterday, so it all went by pretty fast. By the time he was over, though, it was once again too early to head to the bar.

Going home instead, he decided he would take a bath this time instead, to avoid any chance of potentially falling asleep. Waking up at five in the morning wasn't all that easy even if he had slept for ten hours, and suddenly his promise of never sleeping again seemed harder to keep. A bath would have to do the job.

Indeed, a bath and some food later, it was finally late enough to head to the bar. He opted for walking there instead of driving, feeling like he could use a walk. Jongdae had said it would rain, but the weather seemed better than it had been for weeks, so what were the odds?

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The warmth that filled him when he entered his favourite bar was starting to become more familiar than the one of his own house, but he didn't necessarily mind. Was he at that bar far too often? Probably, but it didn't matter. 

He took a seat on his regular stool, calling Sehun to order - genuinely surprised that he remembered his name this time - and then turning around to look at Baekhyun. He was singing his favourite song again, and Chanyeol couldn't help but smile. The singer seemed to suddenly notice his presence, and his eyes locked with Chanyeol’s. The look in them was slightly surprised, maybe even… relieved? Had he really thought he wouldn't come? Chanyeol couldn't help but wonder as the singer smiled back at him. 

The song soon came to an end, and Chanyeol saw Baekhyun tell the band he would be taking a break, before he got up from his stool and headed towards where Chanyeol was sitting. 

“You came.” he said as he took the seat next to him, joking, yet Chanyeol could hear the relief in his words. 

“Of course I did.” Chanyeol smiled at him, taking a sip of his drink to calm his suddenly interested heart down. “You say it as if I don't come here nearly every day.” he chuckled.

“You didn't come last night.” Baekhyun’s words were so small they were barely a whisper, his usual confidence nowhere to be found. 

“Now, you see that might be because…” Baekhyun looked at him expectantly, almost like a child, and Chanyeol felt giddy all over. “I accidentally fell asleep.”

“Really?” Baekhyun laughed in disbelief, and Chanyeol was glad he could see the usual Baekhyun come back. 

“In my defense,” Chanyeol brought a hand up, as if to keep Baekhyun from laughing at him any more, “I hadn't exactly gotten enough sleep on the previous night, and I was tired.”

Baekhyun’s smile at that was knowing, and the fluttering feeling in Chanyeol’s stomach refused to go away. Sehun suddenly brought Baekhyun a drink, and Chanyeol couldn't help but notice that the singer hadn't even ordered. Then again, Baekhyun usually stuck to his regular so the guy must have learned it by now.

“If it makes things any better,” Baekhyun broke the silence, “I didn't get much sleep that night either.” 

His smile as he took a sip from his drink was sweet, innocent, but Chanyeol was certain his ears were starting to heat up. He downed the rest of his own drink in an attempt to calm down, only managing to burn his throat in the process. Before he managed to say anything, Baekhyun finished his own drink and got off his stool.

“Well I hate to leave it here, but I have to get back.” 

“Wait.” Chanyeol wasn't sure why he stopped him.

“What is it, sugar?” Baekhyun’s voice was ever so sweet as he stood there in front of Chanyeol.

“That song you were performing.” Chanyeol muttered, unsure of why he was even telling him this. “It’s my favourite song.”

“Avalon?” Baekhyun asked with a smile and Chanyeol could only nod, not trusting what he would say next if he opened his mouth. “I’ll make sure to sing it more often then.” Baekhyun said before he turned to head back to his piano with only a “Talk to you later”, and Chanyeol was pretty sure his heart had stopped beating for a few seconds there. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


And talk later they did. They had never before stayed at the bar after Baekhyun’s shift, but today seemed to be an exception. They got slightly too absorbed in the conversation, starting with their favourite songs and continuing with all sorts of favourites, as the night went on. They didn't even notice how late it had gotten until the bar had almost emptied, and Sehun was starting to clean up the counter. 

A pointed glare by the guy later - to which Baekhyun responded with a grin - they finally decided to head home. However, a surprise was waiting for them the moment they stepped foot out of the bar.

_ Rain _ .

Chanyeol cursed under his breath as he saw the pouring rain.

“What’s wrong?” Baekhyun chuckled. “Don't tell me you didn't bring a car.”

It took great effort for Chanyeol not to facepalm himself. He hated to say it, but he really should have listened to Jongdae this time. 

Baekhyun’s laugh grew louder than the rain. “Sugar, everyone said it was going to rain today, didn't you hear?” At the very least it was dark enough for Chanyeol’s embarrassment not to show on his face, although he was pretty sure Baekhyun could tell anyway. “Come on, I’ll drive you.” 

There went another flutter in his stomach. “You don't have to, I’ll just…” Would walking home be that bad? It couldn't be. He just had to make sure he didn't catch a cold, or else he would have to admit to Jongdae that he had been right. And he had vowed to never do that.

“You’ll what? Walk?” Baekhyun was probably right for not believing him. Chanyeol didn't even believe himself. “No you won't. Come on.” 

A hand suddenly grabbed the sleeve of his coat, and before Chanyeol knew it, Baekhyun was running to his car, dragging him along with him. 

“Baekhyun!” Chanyeol gasped, but it was drowned by the deafening sound of the pouring rain.

His car was relatively close but they still managed to get impossibly wet in seconds, and Chanyeol couldn't possibly imagine why he had thought seconds ago that walking home was an option.

He could feel Baekhyun stare at him as he rubbed his hands to fight the cold, before he chuckled again. “Come on, let’s get you home.”

Chanyeol dared a glance at Baekhyun, only to be met with a sweet smile, and he couldn't even blame his heart for fluttering. No matter how much time he spent with him, that feeling didn't seem to want to go away.

The ride home was comfortable, and they quickly found themselves immersed in the conversation they had started at the bar. Chanyeol couldn't help but think that, although he wasn't much of a people person, talking to Baekhyun always came so easily to him. It almost felt like he had known him for years, when really he was just starting to get to know him. 

They reached his house earlier than he would have liked. It was late, but he didn't want to bid Baekhyun goodbye just yet.

“Ready to get back out there?” Baekhyun joked, looking outside the window.

“Not yet.” Chanyeol whispered, only realising he had said it aloud when Baekhyun turned to face him. And the look in Baekhyun’s eyes… it was darker than the night. 

Baekhyun’s lips were on his in seconds, and Chanyeol hadn't realised how much he had missed them until this very moment. The kiss was soft but intense, as Baekhyun held onto Chanyeol’s collar like his life depended on it. 

“I’ve been wanting to do this all night.” he whispered, and Chanyeol wasn't even given a second to breathe before Baekhyun was back to kissing him. It was more fervent than before, almost desperate, and Chanyeol felt hot all over. Baekhyun nipped and licked at his lips as his hands made their way to Chanyeol’s cheeks, caressing softly and keeping Chanyeol there; as if he would go anywhere else.

The singer was dominating in the way he kissed, leading the way, moving on his own accord and having Chanyeol follow. And Chanyeol loved it. Loved the way Baekhyun’s hands gripped his hair, keeping him where he wanted him. Loved the way Baekhyun played with his lips and explored his mouth with his tongue. Loved the way Baekhyun was so close to him that he was all Chanyeol could feel.

He felt Baekhyun’s body lean even closer, slowly pushing him backwards until he was lying down on the car seats. His hands had found Baekhyun’s sides at some point, in an attempt to keep himself from falling, and they stayed there. The singer hovered on top of him, his lips never leaving Chanyeol’s mouth and his hands on either side of Chanyeol’s head to keep himself from putting his whole body weight on the other. Chanyeol wasn't sure how they even fit in the car, but that was the last of his concerns in that moment. 

Baekhyun pulled away to breathe again, looking right in Chanyeol’s eyes and smiling at him in a way that made Chanyeol feel like he was going to melt. 

“Is this too much, sugar?” he whispered, softly, and all Chanyeol could think about was how red his lips looked; and how much he wanted them back on his.

He shook his head slightly, but his response came in the way his hands found Baekhyun’s cheeks and slowly pulled him down again. Baekhyun granted him the prettiest smile, before he was kissing him again, and again, and again.

Chanyeol wasn't sure for how long they stayed there, nor did he care. He felt like he could do this for the rest of his life, and he would be glad. They parted to breathe several times, but went right back to kissing seconds later. It wasn't anything other than that, just kissing, but Chanyeol had never felt this good in his entire life.

Chanyeol wasn't entirely certain how, but at some point they had managed to switch positions, and he found himself straddling Baekhyun, knees on either side of his thighs. Baekhyun’s hands that had been tangled in his hair were starting to glide downwards, from his shoulders to his back when-

_ “Hey!”  _ a knock on the window was heard, and Chanyeol sat up out of reflex and found himself staring straight into an old man’s eyes, but he was too shocked to react.  _ “Bank’s closed, young man! Take your girl somewhere else.” _ the man yelled from outside, and it was enough to shake Chanyeol out of his stupor.

_ He hadn't seen Baekhyun _ , was the first thing Chanyeol thought of, and he instinctively leaned slightly forward in an attempt to cover Baekhyun from the man’s eyes. He clearly couldn't see him, or else this would have been a completely different conversation.

“I-I’m so sorry. We’ll-” he felt hands stroking his thighs, and his words were cut with a choke. It took all he had not to look down at Baekhyun, who was clearly finding the situation way too entertaining. “We’ll leave!” he managed to say, entangling Baekhyun’s hands with his to keep them from moving.

_ “You better.” _ the elderly man said, and thankfully turned to leave.

After waiting a few minutes till the man was no longer in sight, Chanyeol fell back onto Baekhyun with a grunt, and buried his face in the singer’s neck. “That was unfair.” he murmured in his neck, and Baekhyun only laughed, untangling his hands from Chanyeol’s and wrapping them around his back.

“What was he even doing out in the rain in the middle of the night?” Baekhyun was finding this situation way too funny.

“I don't even know.” Chanyeol mumbled, but he couldn't help the slight chuckle that escaped his lips. 

He rested his weight on his elbows as he hovered on top of Baekhyun again. “I should probably get going.” 

Baekhyun’s hands held his cheeks softly, the singer looking up at him in a way that made Chanyeol want to hide his face with his hands. “Mmm, okay.” he muttered, but his hands were pulling Chanyeol down and, in seconds, they were kissing again.

It was softer than before, sweeter, and Chanyeol was hoping he was the only one who could hear his heart beating so loudly. Baekhyun’s fingers ran through his hair again, playing with the brown locks as they kissed. Chanyeol almost felt like having the earth eat him up when an embarrassing whimper left his mouth, but the smile that formed on Baekhyun's mouth was enough to change his mind.

They parted after a while, with Baekhyun patting his chest. “Alright, you should go now.”

Chanyeol’s face must have dropped, because Baekhyun was quick to clarify. “It’s very late and I suppose you have work tomorrow.” he said as he rubbed one of Chanyeol’s cheekbones with his thumb. “Besides, you don't want that man to come back, now do you?”

Chanyeol laughed at that, sitting up properly. It took them a little while to get back to sitting properly, the car suddenly seeming smaller than before, but they figured it out eventually; even though they somehow ended up sitting on each other’s seats. Chanyeol just wished they hadn't caught the attention of that elderly man again when he accidentally pressed the horn with his elbow.

“So, I’ll see you soon?” Baekhyun started, hopeful.

“Of course.” Chanyeol smiled, putting on his hat that had fallen at some point. “Have a good night, Baekhyun.” he said, before opening the door and starting to run in the rain.

Baekhyun moved to the driver’s seat as he looked at Chanyeol running. He was ready to start his car before Chanyeol suddenly stopped. Confused, Baekhyun just stared as Chanyeol turned and started running his way. He rolled down his window.

“What are you-” he asked when Chanyeol reached his car, getting cut off by a mouth pressed on his own. 

It was just a peck, fleeting, short, and it was over before Baekhyun even understood what had happened. 

“Goodnight!” Chanyeol yelled to be heard over the rain, and ran to his house for real this time, leaving Baekhyun sitting there, laughing in disbelief.

Chanyeol threw off his clothes and changed into his pajamas in seconds from the moment he entered his house, lying on his bed and wrapping himself with his covers as quickly as he could, burying his face in his pillow.

Lord, he was acting like a child, but he couldn't help it. He just couldn't believe any of that had just happened.

He had just bid him goodbye, but he couldn't wait to see Baekhyun again already.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Someone’s late.” was the first thing he heard when he opened his office door.

“Good morning to you too, Jongdae.” he shot back to his friend, in too good of a mood to mind his words, as he took his hat and coat off before walking towards his office table. 

Jongdae laughed in response, looking at Chanyeol with a raised brow. “Funny, and I thought you were a firm believer of the saying  _ no morning is ever good _ .” 

Chanyeol huffed, taking out his notebooks and laying them out in front of himself. “I am,” he said as he flipped through the pages, “but I must admit there are some very few exceptions.”

“Oh, and what might be the cause of today being one of those very few exceptions?” He didn't even need to look at Jongdae to know the look he had on his face.

“Nothing in particular…” he spoke absentmindedly, trying to keep himself preoccupied with his notebooks so not to show how flustered he was. “It’s just a nice morning.”

“Whatever you say.” Jongdae laughed, turning to his own stack of notebooks.

Chanyeol was able to go back to his own little happy bubble for a few moments, before Jongdae spoke up again.

“Oh and, by the way,” Chanyeol lifted his head to face Jongdae, but he couldn't tell much from his friend’s expression. 

“Yes?”

“I hate to ruin your awfully joyful morning, but I have some news.”

Chanyeol tried not to imagine anything beforehand, but couldn't help the thoughts filling his brain at once. “What news?”

“There’s a potential new sponsor.”  _ Oh.  _ The drop in Chanyeol’s expression must have been so painfully blatant that it could be considered comical. “And as you can imagine…”

_ Oh no.  _ This was exactly what he had wanted to avoid.

“A party?” he asked, hoping he was wrong, yet knowing he wasn't.

“Exactly.”

The only response Jongdae got was a sigh, but it was a clear enough indicator of how Chanyeol felt. 

His father had always liked to throw parties to impress potential new investors, and Chanyeol hated it. Hated it because he found it pretentious to try and awe investors with parties instead of the quality of their products. Hated it because investors loved things like these, things that boosted their oversized egos. But above all, he hated those parties because he always found himself having to participate in ways his position in the company didn't call for. His father loved to show him off to new people, even if Chanyeol had never had a high position in that company, and never wanted to have one either. He supposed it made his father feel like his son was less of a failure, but that only made it worse.

“Oh and,” Jongdae shook him out of his thoughts again, “your brother wants to talk to you.”

“Of course he does.” Chanyeol sighed again, not even surprised. This was how these parties always went.

“A lovely morning indeed.” Jongdae joked, and Chanyeol only glared at him with a scowl that he hoped was enough to convey his feelings.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Chanyeol avoided going to his brother for the entirety of the day, finally giving up when he no longer had any more work left. He stood before his office door, regretting most of his life decisions, before finally gathering the courage to knock.

He held his breath. “Come in.” 

Too late to run away now.

He opened the door hesitantly, peeking from behind. “Jongdae told me you wanted to see me?” he asked, not making a move to actually get in the room, still holding onto the last strand of hope in his brain that told him his brother didn't need anything serious and would wave him off quickly.

“Ah, yes. Come and take a seat, brother.” He should have learned to stop hoping when it came to his brother by that point, but he hadn't.

He silently made his way to the seat opposite to his brother, waiting for him to speak up.

“I assume you already know about the party.” he said, playing with a pen in his hands.

“I do.” Chanyeol only slightly wanted to take that pen and break it in half.

“Now, don't act so excited, young brother.” he joked, and Chanyeol was barely keeping himself from standing up and leaving on the spot. If all his brother wanted was to mess with him then he didn't need to hear it.

“I’m simply not enthralled by the idea, that's all.”

“Well, you should be, because father wants to introduce you to some of our partners at the party.” 

Of course he would, Chanyeol couldn't find it in himself to be surprised. 

“Father knows I have no interest in such things.” He did, he knew very well, but it didn't stop him from pushing them onto Chanyeol.

“Well, don't you think it’s high time that changes?” his brother asked, the smirk on his face so infuriating, yet all Chanyeol could do was dig his nails on his thighs to control himself.

“I’m assuming the only answer you’ll take is yes.” he gritted out, a forced smile on his face, and he was sure his brother was finding all this way too amusing.

“You know me so well.” he chuckled, before sitting up on his chair. “Anyways, for the duration of the next few weeks you’re going to stay after work with me. I have to teach you how to properly talk to our partners.” 

What?

“Brother…” Chanyeol muttered, low, almost warning. He had never had to do that before.

“Now, you know I hate to cut our conversation short, but i have to go.” his brother stood up, wiping away dust that wasn't on his pants to begin with. “I’ll be seeing you a lot more these days though, brother, so don't worry too much.”

And with that, he was out the door, leaving Chanyeol sitting there, feeling like a fool. All he could do was sigh, running his hands through his hair in frustration. This had been supposed to be a good morning.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The entirety of next week was a mixture of exhaustion and annoyance. These daily meetings with his brother were taking a toll on him. He wasn't even physically tired as much as he was mentally. His brother made him stay at work so late every day that all he could do afterwards was drive home and drop dead on his bed. 

He had no time to even breathe, and with that, no time to see Baekhyun either. He had thankfully managed to visit the bar on the first day, letting Baekhyun know the following days would be busy and he wouldn't be able to come often. That day had been as busy as all of the others, but he had needed to tell Baekhyun, not wanting the other to think he was avoiding him or something like that.

And Baekhyun, well, it was almost shocking how easy it was for him to make Chanyeol relax. He was just so understanding, and Chanyeol could only wish he could talk to him every night. He could bet it wouldn't be nearly as mentally tiring if he saw Baekhyun at the end of every day. But that wasn't so much of an option, was it?

The only thing he was looking forward to was Sunday. He never worked on Sundays and, although his brother still wanted to meet, Chanyeol was sure he would let him go way earlier. And finishing work earlier meant getting to go to his favourite bar and that meant seeing Baekhyun. He could definitely say he was excited. Having something to look forward to was a surprisingly efficient push to keep going.

He just had to survive the week.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


He did manage to survive the week, somehow, and Sunday had finally come, but of course his brother wouldn't let him off the hook so easily. Apparently, his brother was busy for the entirety of the morning, so their “teaching session” had to take place in the afternoon instead. 

That meant he would get to rest in the morning, but, at the same time, it meant he would probably finish work right before he would go to the bar. And he knew his brother, so he could only hope he wouldn't keep him for too long. He didn't want to miss going earlier than Baekhyun’s break.

A few too many hours passed, and he was finally heading towards the bar. He couldn't help but laugh at the thought that missing Baekhyun’s break had been his biggest worry some hours ago, when his brother had kept him in the office for so long that he was almost certain he had missed Baekhyun’s entire shift by now. 

Parking his car and getting out, he walked with fast steps towards the bar’s entrance. Baekhyun could still be there, right?   
  


He felt someone bump into him the moment he opened the door. “Sorry-” the man said, before looking up to see Chanyeol. “Sugar?”

“Baekhyun.” Chanyeol breathed out, relieved. Baekhyun was still there.

“Hi?” Baekhyun asked, a smile on his face, and that's when Chanyeol realised they were standing right at the door. He took a step back, making space for Baekhyun to be able to close the door behind him. 

“I’m late, aren’t I?” he asked, guilt washing over him. “I’m really sorry, I came as soon as I could.”

His frown must have been obvious, but Baekhyun didn't seem upset at all. “It’s alright, sugar. Don't worry about it.” These days Chanyeol wondered more and more just how Baekhyun could be so patient. He was so grateful.

“You were leaving?” he asked, suddenly reminded of their current state.

“Yeah, I was going to head home.” Baekhyun paused for a moment, as if contemplating something in his mind, before speaking up again. “Wanna come along?”

Chanyeol should probably start getting used to such things, but the weird things his heart did every time just wouldn't stop.

“Sure.” Was it dark enough for the heat in his face to be hidden? He certainly hoped so.

“Let’s go then.” was all Baekhyun said before he took hold of his hand, and led him to his car. Chanyeol couldn't even try not to give his heart away to this man.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The ride to Baekhyun’s house went by quickly, with Chanyeol explaining to him what had happened and Baekhyun reassuring him that it was okay. 

“Give me that.” Baekhyun said, taking his coat from his hands to hang it on the clothes stand when they entered his house.

Chanyeol just stood there, observing Baekhyun, waiting. And when Baekhyun turned to look at him, there was something different in his eyes, something Chanyeol had been wanting to see all week.

He inched closer, painfully slow, and Chanyeol held his breath once hands touched his cheeks.

“Finally alone.” Baekhyun whispered, before finally closing the gap between them. Chanyeol felt his body go lax, melting in Baekhyun’s hold.

“I missed you.” Baekhyun breathed against his lips, eyes looking up to find Chanyeol’s. 

Chanyeol let out a sigh.  _ Finally.  _ “I missed you too.”

And Baekhyun was back to kissing him, slow, sweet, affectionate. He had the prettiest smile on his face when he pulled away, and Chanyeol’s heart that had been beating so loudly stopped for a second just for it. 

“Make yourself comfortable, sugar. I’ll be right back.” he said and left for the kitchen, leaving Chanyeol standing there, frozen, with a barely functioning heart.

It took him a few seconds, but he managed to move to the couch eventually, waiting for Baekhyun to get done with whatever he was doing in the kitchen.

“Guess what.” the singer’s words shook him out of his thoughts, and he turned to see him looking back at him playfully, hiding something behind his back.

Now, Chanyeol would be a fool not to know, but he was a rather doubtful person.

“You didn't...” he tried, but Baekhyun’s grin said it all.

“Oh but I most certainly did, my dear.” Baekhyun chuckled, revealing his hands that were holding a bottle of whiskey on the one and two glasses on the other.

“You’re unbelievable.” Chanyeol laughed, but he couldn't even say he was surprised.

The grin on Baekhyun’s face was only getting wider as he walked towards Chanyeol and plopped down next to him on the couch, not too close yet not too far. “Don't tell me you don't want some.” he asked, holding the bottle closer to himself with a knowing smirk.

“Now, I never said that.” Chanyeol protested, taking one of the glasses from Baekhyun’s hands.

“That's what I thought.”

Chanyeol scoffed. “If we get arrested, just know I’m blaming it all on you.”

Baekhyun snorted at that, but his smile turned slightly bitter. “Trust me sugar. If they were to find us right now, the booze would be the last thing they’d arrest us for.”

Chanyeol knew, but the reminder was a bit like a punch in the face. “Right…” was all he managed to say, turning his gaze to the glass in his hands.

“Hey.” Baekhyun spoke, softer this time, moving closer to Chanyeol. “I didn't mean to bring the mood down.” he played with the fabric of Chanyeol’s sleeve, right on his wrist, a frown making its way to his face. “Besides, no one searches people’s houses, sugar. So you don't need to worry about it.”

Chanyeol lightly laughed at that, turning to Baekhyun with a smile. “You’re always right about everything, aren't you?”

Baekhyun only chuckled at that, looking down. “You know it.”

Chanyeol wasn't sure where he found the courage to do it, but he placed his hands on Baekhyun’s cheeks, tilting his head up and giving him a small kiss. 

“I’m not worried.” he whispered with a small smile. “Now, pour me some, will you?” he said as he showed Baekhyun his glass, but the other only stared at him, shocked, and if Chanyeol dared say so,  _ flustered _ .

They started drinking and things went by pretty quickly after that. They got tired of glasses halfway through the bottle, and opted for taking turns in drinking straight out of the bottle instead. Three quarters into the bottle and he had already heard more embarrassing stories from Baekhyun’s childhood than he would be able to remember the next morning. It was only once the bottle was pretty much empty that he found himself talking - rather, complaining - about his brother.

“ _Do this, do that. Smile more, don't smile so much._ ” he imitated his brother, as a drunk Baekhyun giggled. “He doesn't even know what he wants and it’s _suffocating_.” he exclaimed, trying to take another chug from the bottle that had been solely in his hands for just a tad too long now, only to realise there was no more in it.

“Why do you have to do as he says anyways?” Baekhyun asked, observing as Chanyeol frowned at the empty bottle.

“I don't know.” he sighed, finally letting go of the bottle. “He always says things like,  _ Don't you want father to respect you?  _ And I know it’s bullshit. I mean… if that's what it takes for my own father to respect me, then I don't want it.” he chuckled humourlessly, before sighing for what had to be the millionth time that night. “Still… it gets to me, you know?”

Baekhyun couldn't help but frown at the look on Chanyeol’s face. “I’m sure your father has plenty of respect for you already, sugar.” He didn't like that expression on him. “But if he doesn't, it’s his problem, not yours, because you have done nothing wrong.” He wanted to help, but he was unsure if his drunk words were of any comfort to the other. “Also, you have to stop letting your brother’s words affect you so much, sugar. He’s not worth it.”

“I know…” Chanyeol murmured, lifting his gaze to meet Baekhyun’s. “I just don't know how.”

“It won't be easy, but you’ll get there.” he said, hopefully reassuringly. “For starters, try not to think about him for the rest of the night.”

Chanyeol chuckled at that. “And how will I do that?”

It was probably because of the alcohol in both their veins, but Chanyeol’s question felt awfully challenging. 

“Think of something else.” Baekhyun started, his gaze burning into Chanyeol’s. “Something more… interesting.” he wasn't sure why he was moving closer.

“Like what?” Chanyeol asked, and he could swear the sudden confidence was coming from the booze.

Baekhyun smiled at that. “Like me.” he breathed, and their lips were on each other’s in seconds.

It was harder than before, faster. Baekhyun grabbed Chanyeol’s collar as Chanyeol’s hands tangled in his hair, both desperate to feel each other, closer than they were and closer than ever before. It was hungry and it was messy, the alcohol making the haze in their minds obvious in their actions as well.

Baekhyun pulled away suddenly. “Wait, seriously though.” he panted, catching his breath and confusion was the only thing Chanyeol could feel. “Don't let others judge your worth, alright sugar?” he said at last.

_ Oh,  _ Chanyeol thought, as his heart did several flips. “A-Alright, I’ll try.” he muttered, and Baekhyun grinned. 

“Okay.” he whispered, and he was back to knocking the air out of Chanyeol’s lungs in seconds, like he hadn't just stopped his heart and brought it back to life, like he really thought Chanyeol could survive all of this.

But Chanyeol, well, he wasn't really complaining as Baekhyun pushed his knees that he had been holding to his chest apart to get closer to him, and as his hands roamed all over his body. He certainly wasn't complaining either when he was pushed to lay down on the couch, with Baekhyun between his legs, kissing him again and again, like it was all he ever wanted to do for the rest of his life. 

And really, Chanyeol was starting to think that if that was all he could do for the rest of his life, he wouldn't exactly mind.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The next weeks passed by more easily, with Chanyeol putting up less and less with his brother’s attitude and attending less and less of their “teaching sessions”. He wasn't a fool and he knew he didn't need that many lessons on how to talk properly. His brother just wanted to annoy him. And hence, he stopped letting him do so and reduced the number of their sessions to one per week.

His daily routine went back to regular, and he went back to seeing Baekhyun almost every day again. He hadn't realised how much he had missed just listening to Baekhyun sing as he drank his favourite booze. Their meetings weren't limited in the confines of the bar, though, as they spent plenty of time in each other’s car and houses. 

It was all so nice, and Chanyeol loved spending time with Baekhyun. He loved it especially when they were at each other’s houses, where no one could see them, no one could judge them, and they were free to do whatever they wanted to. He loved those moments the most, because they were the ones that made him forget the world existed, that made him forget of every problem and every struggle he had. In the shelter of their houses, nothing could hurt them, and they were free to say, do and feel whatever they pleased.

Fridays were Baekhyun’s days off work, and they had established an unspoken rule of spending them at each other’s houses. So when Baekhyun told Chanyeol one day about the new cinema that had opened in their town and that they should go there next Friday, it came a bit as a surprise. 

Chanyeol had never gone to the cinema before. Cinemas had just started to become popular these past few years, but there had never been one in town, so Chanyeol had never even seen one from afar before. He didn't necessarily care either, hence why he hadn't traveled the small distance to another cinema before, but Baekhyun seemed awfully excited about it.

And, of course, Chanyeol loved seeing him this excited. That's why he agreed without thinking twice - that and the fact that Baekhyun had been to a cinema before and Chanyeol was curious to see what was all that exciting about it. 

There was no denying that he was slightly nervous about it too, though. They had never been together in public like this before. The bar didn't count, because everyone there was way too drunk to look at them more than once, even more so to actually think anything of it.

But the cinema… Chanyeol could only assume that all sorts of people visited the cinema. Families, elderly people, couples. The entirety of the general public visited cinemas because they had become a primary form of entertainment, and, quite frankly, it was slightly intimidating to Chanyeol.

_ “Friends go to the cinema together all the time, right?”  _ Baekhyun had said to convince him, and he wasn't wrong. Chanyeol just had to tone down his anxious nature.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


He had been nervous for the entirety of that day, but he would be lying if he said that all that stress hadn't disappeared the moment Baekhyun arrived at his house to pick him up. The singer always had that effect on him, always made him feel like everything was okay, even if the world was coming to an end. And Chanyeol could only be grateful, because it was that feeling of security that had allowed him to explore and find so many beautiful things that otherwise he would have been too afraid to even come close to.

And sitting there on the passenger’s seat, with one of Baekhyun’s hands holding his own as they drove to the cinema, he felt that security again.

“Nervous?” Baekhyun glanced at Chanyeol for a second, before focusing his eyes back on the road.

Chanyeol took a moment to think about it, realising that he wasn't all that nervous anymore. Rather, he felt something else. “Excited.”

Baekhyun glanced at him again, almost as if to check Chanyeol wasn't lying, before breaking into a grin. “I bet you’ll love it.”

“Why do you keep on saying that?” Chanyeol chuckled, not sure what was all that great about those movies. He trusted Baekhyun’s taste though.

“You’ll see.” the singer smiled, taking a turn and finally stopping behind a few other cars.

“We’re here.” he finally turned to face Chanyeol fully, not moving to get out or let go of Chanyeol’s hand just yet. 

Chanyeol just tried to look around from the windows, curious, but they were too far back to see the actual cinema.

He heard Baekhyun laugh from beside him. “Come on, let’s go.” he gave Chanyeol’s hand a small squeeze, before letting go and opening his door to get out. Chanyeol took half a second to let out a breath, before getting out too. His heart would never get used to Baekhyun, would it?

They walked next to each other, not too close but not too far either, as they made their way to the front of the cinema. And then, they finally faced it.

Chanyeol would be lying if he said his breath wasn't caught in his throat at the sight. The huge glowing signs were the first thing he saw, followed by the posters and the sea of people waiting right outside the cinema. It looked so grand, so shiny and so alive that Chanyeol felt mesmerised. 

It looked like what speakeasies would look like on the outside if they weren't illegal. It looked like the stars and the whole entire sky. It looked like a dream, a place only few out of the thousands realised how lucky they were to be able to visit. Chanyeol would like to think he was one of those lucky few.

A laugh from beside him broke his trance. 

“It’s fascinating, isn’t it?” Baekhyun’s voice was low, hidden from the ears of everyone else around them, almost like a child sharing a secret.

Chanyeol turned to look at the singer, whose eyes that were filled with stars turned to look right back at his, and he could swear time stopped for a second. Only for a second, because in the next, a smile had formed on Baekhyun’s face, and a hand was dragging Chanyeol from the sleeve of his coat.

“Come on, we need to get our tickets.”

Chanyeol followed close behind Baekhyun as the singer led the way, trying not to stare too much at the signs and lose him in the crowd. They stopped in front of a booth, after pushing through a decent amount of people, and Baekhyun asked the woman on the other side of the booth for two tickets. Chanyeol opted for observing the people this time, as he waited for Baekhyun to get the tickets. Just like he had assumed, there were plenty of families, although not that many elderly people. He saw a rather lot of people who were there with their friends though, and it made even his last ounce of nervousness go away.

The majority were couples though. They were of all ages, but that was pretty much all the diversity they had. Chanyeol couldn't help the slight pang he felt in his chest though, as he looked at the way they held hands. He wanted to be able to hold Baekhyun’s hand in public too, to hug him, to show people he was his. In that moment, he wanted people to know, he wanted the world to know, and he wanted to show the world just how happy he was to have someone like Baekhyun. He wanted them all to see how proud he was to call Baekhyun his. But he couldn't. 

He could never do any of that, and he knew that more than well. But in times like these, he couldn't help but feel slightly helpless. He just wanted to hold Baekhyun’s hand, was that so bad?

“Sugar, are you okay?” he heard a whisper in his ear, and turned to find Baekhyun looking at him worriedly.

He cleared his throat, composing himself. “Yeah, I’m fine.” 

Baekhyun looked around for a second, before looking back at Chanyeol and getting closer, pushing his side to Chanyeol’s. The latter was about to ask him what he was doing, before he felt fingers tangle with his. Baekhyun was  _ holding his hand.  _ Chanyeol couldn't even find it in himself to worry. All he could think of in that moment was how much he wanted to hug Baekhyun.

Baekhyun, who always understood.

The touch was gone a tad too quickly for Chanyeol’s liking, and Baekhyun had put a safe distance between them, but Chanyeol understood.

“Are we going in then or what?” he asked with a smile, and Baekhyun smiled back before leading them inside.

The interior was almost as mesmerising as the exterior, with rows of seats placed in front of each other and a beautifully high ceiling. Chanyeol felt breathless once again, looking up as he followed Baekhyun to their seats. He realised he should have been looking straight ahead a tad too late, when Baekhyun came to a stop and Chanyeol bumped into him. Thankfully no one had been too close behind him and only Baekhyun realised, who laughed like he always did as Chanyeol blushed like a tomato.

“This way, sugar.” he showed him the way with his hand, and Chanyeol started walking towards their seats. 

He wasn't sure why the theatre was almost empty when outside it had been full, but he was grateful nonetheless for not having to step on a bunch of people’s feet to get to his seat. Baekhyun stopped him at some point close to the middle, right at the seats with the numbers 44 and 45 painted on them.

The movie started rather soon after that, once all seats were filled, and Chanyeol was buzzing with excitement. It probably showed throughout the whole film too, in the way he kept on pointing random things out to Baekhyun and bothering every single person in the theatre. But Baekhyun didn't stop him. Rather, he found it amusing; the way Chanyeol got excited over the smallest of things.

By the end of the movie, it was pretty clear to Chanyeol why Baekhyun had insisted on visiting the new cinema so much. They were definitely going to do this again sometime soon, Chanyeol would make sure of it.

The movie left such a big impression on him that he didn't stop talking about it for a single second during the ride back home, Baekhyun returning his excitement with the same fervour.

Chanyeol hadn't even realised they had reached his house until Baekhyun parked the car right in front of it.

“We’re here.” he muttered, slightly dumbfounded because he hadn't realised how quickly the ride had passed.

“We are.” Baekhyun chuckled, and Chanyeol’s ears reddened from the embarrassment. “Come on. I’ll walk you to the door.” the singer said then, opening his door and getting out, waiting for Chanyeol to do the same.

“So, did you like the film?” Baekhyun asked when they reached the front door, looking at Chanyeol with a knowing smile.

“Was I not obvious enough?” Chanyeol laughed. He was pretty sure the entire theatre had understood how much he had liked the film. He cleared his throat, tone more serious this time. “I loved it. Thank you for taking me there.”

“I knew you’d love it.” Baekhyun’s smile was small but proud, and Chanyeol couldn't help but find it endearing.

“I’m glad you insisted so much. I wouldn't have come otherwise.”

Baekhyun laughed at that, his gaze dropping to the floor for a moment before finding Chanyeol’s eyes again. 

“We should do this again sometime soon.” Chanyeol muttered, suddenly feeling shy, but Baekhyun’s smile only widened.

“Of course, sugar. Whenever you want.” he said, staring at Chanyeol in a way that felt like he could see through him. Chanyeol’s eyes dropped to the ground, unable to handle Baekhyun’s gaze. “I should get going.” the singer said a moment later, and Chanyeol’s eyes shot up to meet his again. 

“Don't.” he said hurriedly, and Baekhyun just looked at him, confused. “Come inside?” he whispered, so fast he would’ve almost been certain Baekhyun hadn't heard him, weren't it for the change in his eyes. “Just for a little.” he added, under his breath, and Baekhyun only nodded, an unreadable expression on his face.

Chanyeol turned around and unlocked the door, holding it open for Baekhyun to get inside, before doing the same and closing the door behind him. He took off his hat and placed it on the stand, going to take off his coat too before he noticed the way Baekhyun was standing in front of him and stopped. The singer hadn't moved to take his things off yet, except for his shoes, and he was just standing there, staring at Chanyeol in a way that made something in him flutter.

And then Chanyeol stopped to look at him, and it was almost like a switch in Baekhyun’s brain flipped, because in the next moment Chanyeol was pushed against his front door and they were kissing.

Chanyeol had been waiting all day for this; the kissing, the touching, the feeling. He had missed the way Baekhyun’s lips fit on his own, the way his hands left tingles at every spot they touched, the way his heart got adventurous and would start doing all sorts of flips. He had missed the intimacy that came with it - an intimacy that was saved for the two of them only, far from the prying eyes of the world. 

It was fervent and hurried, the way Baekhyun kissed him, and before Chanyeol could process it, the singer had turned them around, pushing Chanyeol backwards lightly, towards the couch. Chanyeol felt the hands that had been holding his cheeks grab the lapels of his coat, before pushing it off his shoulders and taking it off of him, letting it fall to the ground. He followed Baekhyun’s lead, taking the singer’s coat off too as he took small steps backwards, unable to see and holding onto the other for support. 

The back of his legs came in contact with the couch, and he felt Baekhyun’s hands press on his shoulders softly, pushing him to sit down. The kiss was broken for a moment, Baekhyun supporting his weight with a knee on the couch, taking off his hat and throwing it somewhere, before claiming Chanyeol’s lips again, making him lay back on the couch and climbing on top of him.

Chanyeol’s hands found their way to Baekhyun’s hair, his dark brown locks so soft that Chanyeol could run his fingers through them forever. Baekhyun didn't stop kissing him for more than a second at a time, knocking the breath out of his lungs again and again, and Chanyeol was getting dizzy. All he could process was Baekhyun, all around him, touching him, kissing him, holding him down.

Baekhyun left his lips, and suddenly oxygen seemed way less necessary, for all he wanted was to get back to kissing him. Instead, a gasp left his mouth when Baekhyun’s lips found his neck. 

“Baekhyun.” he gasped, barely audible, as Baekhyun nipped across his jaw. 

The only response he got was a lick under the side of his jaw, before Baekhyun started trailing open mouthed kisses down his neck, loosening his tie and undoing the first two buttons of his shirt for more access. Chanyeol’s eyes fluttered closed as Baekhyun bit and sucked at a particular spot lower on his neck that would be easier to hide, leaving pretty love bites behind. 

Baekhyun’s name fell from his lips without him even noticing, and in a second Baekhyun’s lips were back on his own, warm, familiar, bringing him back to reality and anchoring him. He held on tight as they kissed, again and again, for what felt like forever, not realising that blood was leaving his brain and rushing somewhere else instead.

He felt intoxicated, drunk in the feeling of Baekhyun’s body so close to his own. He hadn't realised just how close their bodies were, though, until their groins touched, and an embarrassing sound left his mouth while his grip on Baekhyun’s hair tightened. Baekhyun broke the kiss to look at him, and Chanyeol’s breath got caught in his throat at the sight of the singer’s pitch black eyes that were staring at him.

“ _ Hell _ , sugar.” Baekhyun panted on his lips, collecting himself. “Is this too much?” he asked after a second, slightly less out of it than before.

They were in this state and Baekhyun still had the clarity of mind to make sure he was okay. Chanyeol would have felt touched if the need to get back to kissing him wasn't so intense that it overpowered everything else that was currently in his brain.

“No, Baekhyun.” he tried, hurried. “I-It’s alright. Please.”

And thankfully, Baekhyun didn't need to be told twice before he went right back to kissing him. Just like that, in the midst of moving bodies and wandering hands, intimate gazes and desperate kisses, they reached completion, with whispers of each other’s names on their lips and secret words in their eyes.

“Hey Baekhyun?” Chanyeol asked softly, at some point in the middle of the night, as they lay in each other’s arms. Baekhyun’s response came in a hum, tired and slightly dazed. “Do you want your name to stay in history?”

He felt Baekhyun move beside him, supporting his weight on his right elbow as he turned to fully face Chanyeol, a question evident on his face. “What kind of question is that?” he chuckled, a fond smile adorning his face.

“I don't know.” Chanyeol smiled, suddenly shy. “It’s just a random thought I had the other day.”

Baekhyun looked around for a moment, thinking, before crossing his arms on Chanyeol’s chest and supporting his chin on them. “My name, not necessarily. Rather, I’d like it if people remembered my story?” he asked, and Chanyeol only nodded for him to continue. “There will be people like me in the future too, and I want them to have a story like mine to turn to every time they feel like they’re alone. A reminder that people like them exist, and have always existed.” 

Baekhyun’s eyes were lost somewhere in his thoughts as he spoke, and Chanyeol couldn't help but see stars in them. His dream to stay in history wasn't greedy or selfish - rather, it was the complete opposite, as all he wanted was to make people feel better. 

“It’s just that, growing up, I always felt that it would have been easier if I had known that there were other people like me, and that what I was feeling was normal. But I didn't have anyone to show me that. That's why… I want to be that someone for other people.”

Baekhyun was so genuine, so kind, and Chanyeol felt his heart fill with unconditional affection towards the singer. 

“Sugar, hey.” He felt hands caress his cheeks, and when he looked up Baekhyun was staring back at him with a worried expression. “I didn't mean to make you cry.” Baekhyun cooed, gentle, and Chanyeol hadn't realised that tears had left his eyes until Baekhyun had wiped them away.

“I’m sorry, I just-” he felt himself get choked up, and he didn't trust his voice enough to continue talking.

“Don't be sorry.” Baekhyun whispered, smiling, and Chanyeol felt such an intense need to show his affection for the singer in that moment that he almost thought he would burst. 

He pulled Baekhyun’s face to his own to give him a kiss instead, hoping that it would be enough to cover up for his lack of words, and convey all his feelings to him. Chanyeol wasn't sure if anything would be enough to convey the way he felt in that moment, but something about the way Baekhyun smiled in the kiss made him feel that the singer understood.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The next morning found a panicked Chanyeol rushing around the house while a groggy Baekhyun tried to get off the bed. Chanyeol had initially woken up calm and relaxed, with the small sliver of sunlight that came from in between the curtains as his only source of light, smiling at the feeling of arms around him, before the realisation came crashing down on him. As calmly as he could, he reached for the clock on his nightstand, only to shoot up off the bed a second later. He was late.

He was so late and he could already hear Jongdae whining. 

“Baekhyun, hey.” he shook him lightly, his voice doing a terrible job at sounding calm and composed. “Wake up.”

Baekhyun only turned to the other side, hiding his face under the covers subconsciously and murmuring nonsense in his sleep. Chanyeol shook him a tad more fervently, earning displeased grunts in response. 

It took him a while but he eventually got Baekhyun to wake up, leaving him to change out of the clothes he had lent him last night and into his own, as he headed towards the bathroom to have a quick shower.

And by quick he meant very quick, because he was done before Baekhyun had even started buttoning his shirt. Chanyeol felt ever so slightly bad as he looked at Baekhyun, one eye open and struggling to stay awake. The singer always worked at night so he must not have been used to waking up so early.

He made them some quick breakfast while Baekhyun finished getting ready, trying not to burn his kitchen down  _ again _ , in an attempt to pay him back for waking him up so early. And it seemed to work, if Baekhyun’s satisfied expression as he ate was anything to go by. 

“Have a good day at work, sugar.” Baekhyun kissed him one last time in front of the door, before reaching for his coat on the stand and putting it on. “I’ll see you tonight?”

“I’ll be there.” Chanyeol nodded with a smile, and with one last goodbye Baekhyun was out the door. 

Chanyeol didn't have too much time to dwell on the sudden loss he felt though, as he had to finish getting ready. He checked his pocket watch. He needed to be at the company… half an hour ago, and if he wasn't in his car in the next ten minutes he was sure Jongdae would give him twice the workload.

Crouching down to put on his shoes, he noticed a stain on his white shirt from what could only be the breakfast they had just had. Sighing, he headed back to his room to get a new one, already trying to figure out an excuse that would save him from Jongdae.

He was halfway through buttoning up his shirt when he heard the doorbell ring. Had Baekhyun forgotten something? That was the only thing that crossed his mind as he headed towards the door, opening it without a second thought.

“Did you-” his words got caught in his throat and his eyes widened when he saw who was standing on the other side of the door.

“Good morning, little brother.” his brother chirped, and Chanyeol’s first reaction was to hold the collar of his shirt closed, quickly buttoning up the rest of his buttons with his other hand, hiding the reds and purples that were covering his skin. 

“W-What are you doing here?” he asked defensively, his hand still clutching the top of his shirt although it was already buttoned up. He could only hope his brother hadn't seen anything.

“I was just passing by and thought I’d pick you up to go to work together.” he said innocently, but it only made Chanyeol more nervous. “Are you going to let me stand here all day? That’s not very polite of you, little brother.” his smile was infuriating, and if Chanyeol hadn't been so nervous, his blood would be boiling.

He moved to the side to let his brother in, muttering a “Come in” under his breath and going back to putting on his shoes, wanting to leave for work and get this over with as quickly as possible.

“I’ll go get my things.” he spoke up, observing his brother who was looking around the house as though he had never visited before.

“Take your time.” he heard his brother say as he headed towards his room.

Coming back to the living room, he was met with his brother’s back turned to him, as the older crouched down to pick something from the ground. He had half the mind to tell him to stop messing with his stuff, but the thought went flying out of the window when his brother stood up to face him. Chanyeol immediately froze in his tracks when he saw what he was holding.  _ Baekhyun’s hat. _

“Did you get a new hat?” he asked, nonchalant, and normally his brother would have never noticed something like that, weren't it for the fact that Chanyeol only had  _ two  _ hats that he never changed.

“Oh, uhm… Yeah.” he muttered, hoping he sounded as calm and collected as he possibly could. “My old ones were starting to get tattered.” he chuckled awkwardly, as he hesitantly took the hat out of his brother’s hands.

“They looked rather fine last time I saw them, though.” his brother noted with a raised eyebrow, looking at Chanyeol in a way that made a knot form in his throat. He was starting to wish that the earth would swallow him whole, although that seemed terribly unlikely in that moment.

“Trust me, they weren't.” he insisted, putting the hat on and heading to the door to grab his coat too, before turning back to look at his brother again. “Are we going or not?”

The look in his brother’s eyes was unsettling, but Chanyeol didn't even want to try and understand what it meant. He couldn't handle thinking of all the possible implications. All he wanted was to get to work and avoid his brother for the rest of the day. To forget this ever happened so that it wouldn't lead him to overthinking things again.

And he did just that. Going to work, bickering with Jongdae and successfully avoiding his brother’s lesson. Except it didn't work. Except he couldn't stop thinking about the look in his brother’s eyes, about what it had possibly meant. One thought refused to leave his mind for the entire day.

_ Did he know?  _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


It was driving him insane. The thinking, the worrying, the what ifs. He couldn't stand the uneasiness he felt every time he was reminded of it. By the time he was done with work, he knew he couldn't go home. Going home meant spending the next few hours alone, with nothing to do and no way to distract himself. There was no escaping his thoughts if he went home, but he wasn't sure where else he could possibly go either. It was too early to go to the bar. It probably wouldn't even be open yet. But he needed to go somewhere.

He hadn't even realised where he was driving until he had stopped right outside of Baekhyun’s house. He wasn't sure what he had been thinking, or if he had been thinking at all, but he couldn't find it in himself to move. What if Baekhyun wasn't there? What if he was busy? Chanyeol should just go home, really.

But in that moment, all he wanted to do was see Baekhyun. And with that in mind, he somehow found it in himself to walk up to the door and ring the bell. He held his breath as he waited, clutching Baekhyun’s hat to his chest subconsciously.

The door fell open, and seeing Baekhyun hit Chanyeol like a wave. He couldn't tell why, but suddenly all those pent up feelings that had troubled him all day long became one, so unexpectedly that it was overwhelming. 

He saw the look in Baekhyun’s eyes change from surprise to concern, and Chanyeol could tell he was about to say something but he beat him to it.

“You forgot your hat.” he had attempted to say, but it came out rushed and stuttered, weak. 

“Sugar…” Baekhyun’s tone was soft, and careful hands took the hat off of Chanyeol’s hands slowly. “Is everything alright?”

Chanyeol wanted to reply, wanted to say something, but he wasn't so sure he could anymore. He didn't trust his voice, nor did he trust his eyes. 

“I just came to…” he was trembling slightly as he breathed, opening his mouth to talk yet nothing would come out. He meant to say he came for the hat, but he couldn't even bring himself to do that. “I- No.”

And he had been right not to trust his voice, because it broke the moment that word left his lips, and so did the little composure he had left. His knees buckled, and the next thing he felt was arms holding him. Baekhyun was holding him, keeping him from falling both physically and mentally. He barely noticed it when Baekhyun kicked the door closed. 

“Hey.” he whispered, one hand wrapped around Chanyeol’s waist, steadying him, and the other caressing his hair. “Sugar, what’s wrong?”

Chanyeol couldn't speak. All he could do was let the tears fall, shaking violently as he tried to breathe, and keeping his face in the crook of Baekhyun’s neck like it was the only place he was safe. 

Baekhyun just shushed him and held him tighter, rubbing comforting circles on his back and whispering “it’s okay”s in his ear. Chanyeol knew he was confused, and most probably concerned, but he couldn't find it in himself to explain in that moment. All he could do was hold onto the fabric of his shirt tighter and pull him closer. He wanted to be enveloped by Baekhyun, needed to have him so close that it would be impossible for him to think of anything else. He just needed to stop thinking. 

“Sugar.” Baekhyun tried after a bit, when Chanyeol’s shaking had slightly softened. “Let’s get somewhere more comfortable, hm?” he asked, and Chanyeol only nodded as he sobbed.

He let Baekhyun slowly lead them towards the couch, hesitantly leaving his safe spot and detaching himself from him for a moment while the singer sat on the couch, before taking his outstretched hand and letting himself be pulled to the couch too. Baekhyun maneuvered them carefully till they both lay down, and Chanyeol didn't wait a second longer before he was back to hiding in the crook of the singer’s neck.

Baekhyun wrapped both arms and legs around him, caging him between himself and the back of the couch, and Chanyeol could finally breathe again. He was surrounded by Baekhyun and all his senses were filled with him. The tears hadn't stopped, but he felt his thoughts leave his mind for the first time in that day. 

He wasn't sure how much time they spent like that, and he was pretty sure he had ruined Baekhyun’s shirt, but the other didn't seem to care. Chanyeol was pretty sure he had cried all the tears his body was capable of producing, and he suddenly felt composed enough to take a look at Baekhyun. The smile he got in return was so warm that he almost started crying again, his heart overflowing with a feeling he couldn't quite name.

“Do you want to tell me what happened, sugar?” Baekhyun’s voice was always so sweet, just like the way he was holding him in that moment. “You don't have to if you don't want to.”

Grateful. Chanyeol felt so grateful that he had Baekhyun, who was always there and always understood. And he knew Baekhyun wouldn't mind staying like this for the rest of the day, wouldn't mind it if Chanyeol wasn't ready to talk, but he also knew Baekhyun wanted to know. And he wanted to tell him too. 

“My brother visited this morning.” he said, his voice a little rough, and there was no turning back now. He looked at Baekhyun’s eyes as he spoke, trying to see some kind of a reaction. “He came right after you left, so I thought it was you.” his words were quiet, slow, but it was getting them out that mattered. 

“When I opened the door, I hadn't properly buttoned up my shirt yet… I-I covered up immediately but I’m not sure if he saw anything-” his words were getting faster and he felt himself choking up again. Baekhyun’s arms and legs tightened around him, bringing him back from his thoughts and reminding him to breathe. Encouraging him to continue. “Then he came in and saw your hat. I just told him I had gotten a new one, but I rarely buy new hats so I’m not sure if he believed me.” his voice was getting smaller as he spoke, but he knew Baekhyun could hear him. “He didn't say anything.” it was barely a whisper, and he felt a tear glide down his cheek again.

He was back to hiding in Baekhyun’s neck in an instant. He wasn't sobbing this time, rather, the tears just fell, and he kept on trying to focus on breathing. He heard Baekhyun sigh softly, and he felt the hands around him tighten even more. 

“If he didn't say anything, then chances are he doesn't know, sugar. I mean, judging from everything you’ve told me about him, your brother doesn't quite seem like the type to keep his thoughts to himself.” 

Chanyeol chuckled at that. He could tell what Baekhyun was doing. He wasn't wrong though. His brother had always been vocal about everything, regardless of how it made other people feel. Chanyeol had just never thought it would be the thing that had tormented him for years that he would currently be counting on. 

“We can never know for sure, though.” Chanyeol knew that, but it only served to stress him out more. “I’m afraid this won't be the last time this happens, sugar. We’re careful with what we do and what we say, we do all we can, but… sometimes someone just looks at us a certain way and suddenly we think that everyone knows. Most of the time they don't, but we can't control our fears.” 

Baekhyun’s hold was so tight that Chanyeol was a step away from suffocating, and he was starting to realise that Baekhyun was hugging him not only to comfort him, but also to comfort himself. Chanyeol hugged him back just as tightly. He wanted to be his source of comfort, just like Baekhyun was his own. He wanted to be that person for him.

“I-I can't say it will ever stop, but it will get better.” Was Baekhyun’s voice  _ trembling?  _ “You’ll get used to it with time, and it won't be as... scary as it is right now.”

Chanyeol looked up from where his face had been in Baekhyun’s neck, slowly, hesitantly, and met Baekhyun’s eyes. Those eyes that always shined so bright, those eyes that Chanyeol could never stop looking at, why were they watering?

Chanyeol mutured his name, but Baekhyun refused to look back at him. He gave him a small smile, but his head was lowered, his eyes on Chanyeol’s chest. Baekhyun didn't like to cry in front of others, Chanyeol could tell, but he didn't want to be just an other. He took his face in his hands, and made him face him. Baekhyun didn't try to look away again, and Chanyeol took a moment to observe his face, settling to his eyes. He wanted to tell him that it was okay, but he didn't speak. He knew Baekhyun understood though, because suddenly Baekhyun was the one who buried his face in his neck, and Chanyeol the one who held him.

They stayed like that for what had to be hours, holding each other. The heavy atmosphere dissipated slowly, and eventually they ended up whispering silly things in each other’s ears and giggling like little children instead. Chanyeol could stay like this forever. Like this, nothing could touch them. Like this, everything felt okay. Like this… Chanyeol wished he would get countless more moments like this.

Forever came faster than he would’ve liked, though, and he found himself untangling his limbs from Baekhyun’s hesitantly, regrettably. He didn't want to let go, but it had gotten late and it was Baekhyun’s turn to go to work. Perhaps he now understood why Baekhyun had been so grumpy in the morning, especially considering that he had also woken him up far too early. Still, he just couldn't find it in himself to move.

The only thing that convinced Chanyeol to let Baekhyun get ready for work was that he would get to come along with him. At his favourite bar, to drink his favourite booze, and listen to his favourite singer.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Chanyeol was so glad he got to spend that night with Baekhyun, because the next week was an absolute chaos. It was the last week before the party, and preparations were ten times more intense than they had been for the past month or so. Chanyeol was working more hours than he had in a while, and his brother’s lessons were only making the situation worse. He avoided as many as he could, but with the party so near it was getting harder and harder to get his brother to leave him alone. 

All he could do was look at Jongdae in despair every day that his friend got to leave at a normal time because bookkeepers weren't all that included in the preparations after all. And Chanyeol sure was a bookkeeper, but he was also the son of the owner and his duties didn't end where Jongdae’s did. And so every afternoon, Jongdae would pat him on the shoulder, understanding yet unable to help in any way.

It also didn't help that he wouldn't get to visit the bar for the entire week. At least he had known, and he had made sure to spend as much time as he could with Baekhyun on that night. Still, it couldn't make up for it. He just had to wait until that party finally came to an end, and he could finally be free.

More time at work only meant more pointless chores too, though, and that meant more time to think. Baekhyun’s words from weeks ago were making their way back to his mind, and he couldn't stop thinking about them.  _ You have to stop letting your brother’s words affect you so much,  _ he had said, and he hadn't been wrong. 

Chanyeol had disagreed with his brother on almost everything ever since they had been kids. They were so different, and they had never gotten along. Chanyeol had never liked being in his brother’s presence because he had always had a special way of making him feel bad. And Chanyeol had always let him, had always given him the pleasure of getting affected by those words. Still, he had given him that power over him when they were little, and he wasn't a child anymore.

He knew better than that now, and it was high time he stopped caring. His brother had never done something to earn his trust or respect, so Chanyeol had no reason to let him affect him anymore. He needed to clear his mind, and realise just whose opinions  _ did  _ matter to him. Realise that his brother’s opinion shouldn't be one of them.

That was why he made a promise to himself. A promise that, after this party was over, he would not get involved in company events that were unrelated to his position ever again. He would continue to work as a bookkeeper, because somewhere along the way he had grown to actually like his job and he had become rather good at it, but that would be his only position. He had no ambitions for this company, and he wouldn't let his family push him somewhere he didn't want to be. In his office, with Jongdae’s nagging;  _ that _ was where he wanted to be. And he would make his stance clear.

He wouldn't let them do as they pleased with him anymore.

And with that promise alone, he felt a weight being lifted off his shoulders. He still dreaded the idea of that damn party, but the thought that it would be the last was enough. He could deal with one party, he would. 

He just wished he could’ve seen Baekhyun once more before the party. But it was okay. He would see him afterwards, and he couldn't wait.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


He was so late. Chanyeol cursed under his breath as he opened the door to the building, preparing himself for what he knew was to come. He had spent that whole day stressed about the party and yet he had still somehow managed to be late. He could already hear his brother complaining and he hadn't even entered the party hall yet. He was one of the hosts, he wasn't supposed to arrive later than the guests. 

He stopped right in front of the double doors that he knew led to the main hall, and took a deep breath. Turning around and leaving seemed far too enticing in that moment, but it was that exact thought that got him to push the double doors open. He had spent far too much time preparing for this party to end up not going, and he knew well enough that if he didn't have a talk with his brother tonight then he would never do it. 

The first thing he felt when he opened those doors was overwhelmed. Music, chattering and blinding lights came at him all at once, and Chanyeol just stood there for a minute, taking it all in. A man was by his side in a minute, taking his coat and hat off of him and offering him some sort of non-alcoholic drink. He thanked him, hesitantly taking the drink and moving further in the room. 

He looked around, partly looking for his brother and partly observing their guests. There were far more people than he had initially thought there would be, all standing in small groups of four or five and discussing about what could only be business matters. Chanyeol saw right through them, right through their expensive suits and their pretentious smiles. He saw the ones who quite clearly did not want to be there, and he saw the ones whose fragile egos were flattered by the thought of a party being held for them. But then he heard a voice, and all those thoughts left his head.

He knew that voice.

Turning around, his eyes fell on the band playing live music, and landed right in the middle, right on a certain singer.  _ Baekhyun.  _

In that moment, he could only hope people were too busy having their business talks, because he was certain he looked odd - frozen in the middle of the hall, eyes wide and staring at the band. The live music hadn't been his responsibility, so he had barely even thought about it, but he would have never thought they would have gotten a jazz band. Jazz wasn't exactly the kind of music people usually heard in formal business parties. Then again, Baekhyun’s singing had never been very extravagant, so he could understand why they would pick him out of everyone else.

Still, as he looked at him sitting there, singing and playing his piano, he couldn't believe that it was Baekhyun he was looking at. That Baekhyun was right there, in front of him. Almost as if he had heard his thoughts, the singer’s gaze suddenly fell on him. Baekhyun looked surprised only for a second, almost as if he had been waiting for him to come. He smiled at him as he sang, in that way he always did, and Chanyeol could only stare at him in return, a silent question evident in his eyes. 

Right before he could do anything about it though, he felt a hand grab his shoulder.

“Brother!” he jumped up in surprise, turning to the owner of the voice. His brother stood right in front of him, looking as expensive and pretentious as all their guests, blocking his view of Baekhyun. “I see you decided to finally show up.”

His brother’s tone seemed playful, just like his smile, but Chanyeol could see right through it. 

“Something came up.” he said with a smile of his own, apologetic yet just as fake as his brother’s. He wouldn't do him the favour of admitting he had lost track of time, or of actually apologising.

His brother seemed awfully displeased by his answer, and Chanyeol couldn't help but be entertained. He was done letting his brother affect him, and he was going to make it crystal clear.

“It doesn't matter.” his brother dismissed, already plastering another fake smile on his face and putting his hand back on Chanyeol’s shoulder. “Come on. We better not make our guests wait any more than they already have.” 

And with that, Chanyeol could only let himself be guided towards the numerous groups of people, stealing a glance at Baekhyun who hadn't stopped looking at him, and who seemed to understand, giving him an encouraging smile.

Talking to all those people was quite honestly exhausting, but it wasn't as bad as Chanyeol had thought it would be. He knew well what he had to do, how he had to act. He had said those same things he was currently saying countless times, in his brother’s office, glaring at the clock on the wall and cursing at the time that wouldn't pass. He was more than prepared, and although he was a horrible liar, those businessmen seemed to fall for the front he had put on rather easily. 

Still, he couldn't say he was enjoying it. He found himself wishing he had some booze to calm down his nerves, because that abomination of a drink he was holding in his hand was doing an awfully bad job at helping him relax. 

There was one thing making up for the lack of alcohol in his system though, and it was the feeling of Baekhyun’s eyes that never left him. He would glance at him every now and then, perhaps just a tad too often, and he would always find the singer sitting right there. And something about Baekhyun’s presence, whether he was looking at him or not, was enough to help Chanyeol keep it together, to help him relax. In a foreign environment, surrounded by things and people he wasn't comfortable with, there was something familiar, something that made Chanyeol feel secure, and kept him from giving into his own worries and insecurities.

He noticed a song come to its end, and glanced towards the band once again, only to see Baekhyun stand up. The band started playing another song, but the singer left his place and headed towards one of the long tables filled with glasses and appetizers for the guests. He was taking a break.

“Excuse me.” Chanyeol said suddenly, letting the people he had currently been talking to know he would be heading to the bathroom, before leaving them. Without a second thought, he headed towards where Baekhyun was standing, drinking that tasteless poison Chanyeol had been trying to finish for over an hour. 

“Baekhyun.” he breathed once he reached him, getting his attention. “What are you doing here?” 

There was no denying the excitement in his voice, and Baekhyun had definitely noticed, looking up at him with a knowing smile, glass still on his lips.

“Someone from your company asked us to perform here a few days ago.” he fixed his suit with his free hand, and Chanyeol couldn't help but think he looked so professional. Almost like he belonged there, and yet not quite. “I wasn't sure if you would want me here. I know you were dreading this party though, so I thought I could give you some emotional support.” Baekhyun explained, slightly unsure, and Chanyeol couldn't help but feel warm all over at the thought that Baekhyun had wanted to be there for him, even in the literal way.

“You have no idea how happy I am you came.” he said, sincerely yet softly, not wanting anyone else to hear. The way Baekhyun’s smile widened was making Chanyeol’s heart do all sorts of weird things, but he did his best to reciprocate it. 

“I’m glad to hear that, sugar.” It hadn't been more than a week since he had last seen Baekhyun, but he had missed the way he called him that. “How are things going?” he asked, motioning with the drink in his hand to everything around them, and Chanyeol sighed softly.

“It’s alright. Not as bad as I had thought it would be.”

“Just a few more hours and it will be over, sugar.” Baekhyun reminded him. For a second it seemed like Baekhyun would hold his hand, but it was gone so quickly that Chanyeol must have imagined it.

He didn't get to ponder on it for too long though, because-

“Hey, Chanyeol!” 

His night had been filled with surprises so far, but seeing Jongdae at the company party shouldn't have shocked Chanyeol as much as it did - considering he worked there too and all. 

“Jongdae, hi.” he said, but his friend wasn't looking at him. That's when he remembered Baekhyun was still standing right there. “This is Baekh-” he tried to introduce them, but Jongdae beat him to it.

“Hey, you’re the singer from Chanyeol’s favourite bar, aren't you?”

Baekhyun glanced at Chanyeol, slightly unsure at how friendly Jongdae seemed, before replying. “I… am.”

“It’s nice to meet you again. Properly this time.” Jongdae chuckled as he offered his hand to Baekhyun. “I’m Jongdae.”

The singer laughed in return as he shook his hand, feeling oddly at ease in Jongdae’s presence. “I’m Baekhyun.”

“I didn't know they’d choose a jazz band for tonight. Did you pick them, Chanyeol?” 

Chanyeol choked on air, and he could feel a light blush creep on his face as he coughed. “N-No, I didn't. I had no idea.” 

He wasn't lying, but it probably looked an awful lot like he was. He tried to take another sip of his drink to cool down, but that thing refused to stop tasting so bad. 

Baekhyun was the first to talk. “Well, I’d love to stay and make small talk, but I’m afraid I have to get back there.” 

“Of course.” Jongdae smiled. “Maybe some other time.” 

And with one last glance Chanyeol’s way, Baekhyun was gone.

“So, when did you get here?” Chanyeol asked, feeling calmer now that it was only him and Jongdae.

“Not too long ago.” his friend shrugged, taking a drink from the table. Chanyeol would have advised him not to, hadn't he known him well enough to know Jongdae would drink almost everything. He fancied going to Moonshine after all, that was proof enough of his questionable taste. “How’s it going with your brother?”

Chanyeol sighed at that, almost having forgotten he would have to get back to the guests in a little while. “Like always. Just a tad more oppressive.”

Jongdae barely hummed in response, seeming oddly lost in his thoughts. Jongdae was usually always concentrated, so Chanyeol wasn't sure if he should ask or-

“Your friend seems nice.” Jongdae said after a while, and Chanyeol felt his heart drop for a second.

“W-What?”

“He looks like a good guy.” his friend was smiling at him, in that way he kept only for special occasions, when he got sappy and emotional, and Chanyeol had no idea why.

“He is.” he muttered, unsure, but Jongdae’s smile just widened. Chanyeol was honestly starting to get scared.

He placed his hand on Chanyeol’s shoulder softly, in that comforting way he did when the other was upset, and Chanyeol wasn't so sure if he was confused or avoiding thinking at this point. 

“We should all go out for drinks sometime.” Jongdae said, and with a squeeze on Chanyeol’s shoulder he was gone, leaving him standing there, with all the air knocked out of his lungs.

Chanyeol stared at the back of his friend as he walked away, speechless. He had known Jongdae for as long as he could remember, and he knew him like the back of his hand. He knew there was more to his friend’s words than it seemed, and he knew Jongdae’s smile hadn't meant nothing. He knew Jongdae, and he knew what that look meant.

Jongdae knew.

Jongdae knew, and he was okay with it. He found out, and he didn't react in the way Chanyeol had expected him and everyone else to react. Jongdae didn't judge him, didn't curse at him, didn't leave him. No, all Jongdae did was tell him that Baekhyun seemed like a nice guy. All Jongdae did was support him, be there for him, be the friend that he had always been for him.

And that's when Chanyeol realised that not everyone would react like Jongdae, but not everyone was Jongdae. Not everyone would react well, but not everyone was his best friend. And Chanyeol didn't care about everyone. He was starting to realise that not everyone’s opinion mattered the same to him. His brother’s opinion didn't matter, the world’s opinion didn't matter, but Jongdae’s opinion did matter. Because Jongdae was his best friend, the one person he had cared for all his life, and if anyone’s opinion mattered, it was his. 

The one person that mattered to Chanyeol was there for him once again, like he had always been, and his support was enough for Chanyeol not to care about the rest of the world. 

Almost like the last piece of a puzzle that had just been put in its place. 

He saw his brother glaring at him from across the room, and it was enough to shake him out of his trance. Collecting himself, he let his glass down on the table and fixed his suit, before walking towards the group of guests he had previously been with. 

Concentrating on what they were saying proved to be harder than before, but Chanyeol didn't care. He couldn't find it in himself to worry about them, the company, his brother, or anything like that; not when all he could think about were Jongdae’s words. 

He had never even thought about telling Jongdae before, much less about how he would react, but somehow he wasn't entirely surprised. This was so much like Jongdae, telling him in the subtlest of ways to avoid making him uncomfortable. And Chanyeol, well, he could only be grateful. 

With Jongdae’s words giving him that extra support that he needed, he wasn't so worried anymore.

Time flew by surprisingly fast after that. He spoke to dozens of guests, got dragged around by his brother to speak to a dozen more, but it wasn't near as bad as he had thought it would be. He felt okay, and he was okay.

He only realised how late it had gotten when he saw Baekhyun standing next to a table only a few feet away from the group he was currently with. Glancing around, he spotted way less people than he had seen less than an hour ago, and half of the band was already starting to pick up their stuff. He turned to look at the clock, only then realising just how late it was.

The band’s shift was over, just like Baekhyun’s, and most people were starting to leave. Excusing himself for the second time that night, he walked towards the singer who was busy looking around as he drank that horrible thing. Chanyeol still couldn't understand how anyone could like that drink.

“It’s alright.” Baekhyun said suddenly, and Chanyeol felt his cheeks heating up. Had he said that out loud? The singer chuckled, turning to fully face Chanyeol. “How are you holding up, sugar?”

_ Better now that I’m talking to you,  _ Chanyeol had wanted to say, but he quickly stopped himself from doing so. “Better than I expected.” he said instead, fumbling with the fabric of his suit softly, looking around. “Are you leaving?” 

“Well, my shift is over, so…” Baekhyun’s eyes followed Chanyeol’s, looking at the people that were saying their goodbyes and heading for the door, before his gaze settled back onto Chanyeol. “So I was planning on going home, yes.”

“Right, well.” Chanyeol turned back to look at him, with a smile that wasn't quite reaching his eyes. “Have a good night?”

Of course Baekhyun had to go, but he couldn't help the bitterness that filled him. He hadn't seen him in a few days and he just wanted to spend some actual time with him. But of course Baekhyun noticed, he always did.

“Sugar.” he muttered, getting ever so slightly closer, yet not close enough to look odd. “Now that the party will be over, you’ll have more time. So, what do you say we go to the cinema on Friday?” 

Chanyeol’s face lit up almost instantly. “Alright.” he whispered, unable to keep a smile from spreading on his face. “I’ll see you tomorrow?” he asked, hopeful, and Baekhyun just laughed.

“You already know I’ll be there, sugar.” 

Chanyeol felt his face turning red. Right, Baekhyun worked at the bar, of course he would be there. In his blushing state, he failed to notice the singer’s fond smile.

“Goodnight.” was the last thing Baekhyun said, and Chanyeol was probably imagining things, but he felt Baekhyun’s hand hold his for a second when he walked past him, leaving him standing there with a heart that refused to calm down.

He was in the middle of getting said heart back to its place when he heard his brother’s rather irritating voice calling for him.

“Are you waiting for something?” he asked, and Chanyeol took a second before turning around to look at him.

“No, I just…” he looked around, taking a glass from the table next to him. “I just came to get a drink.” he said before taking a sip, trying his best not to grimace at the still bad taste. 

His brother seemed uninterested at best, waving him off with his hands. “Anyway, time to get back to our guests, don't you think?”

Chanyeol raised an eyebrow at that, confused. “I thought everyone was starting to leave?”

“Most of them are, yes, but we’ll have to keep our potential sponsors a little longer. You know, to seal the deal.” The smile on his face was making Chanyeol’s patience run thin. He had done enough sucking up that night for the rest of his career, and he was over this.

“I’m sure you’ve got that covered on your own.” 

“Stop talking nonsense, brother. You know you have to stay.” Chanyeol could see his brother’s irritation, and it was awfully amusing.

“As a matter of fact, no, I don't think I do.” He could tell he was annoying him, but it was only spurring him on. “Actually, I’ve been meaning to tell you. I don't want to be involved in company matters that aren’t related to my position anymore.”

“What?” his brother chuckled humorlessly, and oh how Chanyeol wanted to wipe that smile off his face.

“I think you heard me, brother. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I shall go home.” 

“Father will be disappointed.” he heard as he turned to walk away, and even he was surprised that his brother would stoop so low.

“Then let him.” was all he said, before walking away, leaving him and that whole party behind.

And he knew exactly where to go.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Rain falling on him was the first thing he felt when he got out of the building. He ran to his car, pulling the collar of his coat higher to shield himself as much as he could, but it barely helped at all. 

Pulling the door of his car closed, he let out a sigh, taking off his hat and ruffling his hair. It was pouring and the time was well past midnight, but he didn't care. It wasn't raining enough to make driving impossible, so he just started his car, leaving that place for good and heading towards the one place he wanted to be at. 

He didn't even think twice when he arrived, running in the rain once again until he reached an all too familiar doorstep, ringing a bell he had rang countless times before. He wasn't expecting an immediate answer. It was far too late for a visit, he already knew that, but he didn't care. He was about to ring the bell again, when the door fell open.

“Sugar?” The first thing he saw was a wide eyed Baekhyun, hair messy and wearing his pajamas, clearly woken up from his precious sleep. “It’s pouring! What are you-”

The second thing he saw was the last thread of his control snap, and next thing he knew his hands were on Baekhyun’s cheeks and he was kissing him. It had barely been a week and yet it had felt like way more. Chanyeol had been wanting to do this for far too long and it was finally happening. So many weights had lifted themselves off his shoulders and he suddenly felt so free. He wasn't, no one was ever truly free, but in that moment it felt like nothing could touch him. Nothing could touch  _ them. _

Baekhyun’s hands were on top of Chanyeol’s, clearly surprised, but he was kissing back. “What…?” he lightly panted when Chanyeol pulled away, confused. 

“I told him.” Chanyeol’s eyes were shining from the excitement, but Baekhyun was still staring at him, baffled. “I told my brother I won't take part in company matters that don't have to do with my job anymore.” 

Baekhyun’s eyes widened once again, but it was different than before. “You did?”

Chanyeol nodded frantically, and he couldn't even help the way he was beaming. “It’s over, Baekhyun. I won't let him affect me anymore. It’s over.”

Chanyeol couldn't stop saying it. There was a sense of relief and pure utter happiness in his voice that Baekhyun had never heard before. Like something that had been weighing him down his whole life had finally left him. Like he could finally breathe the way he had always been supposed to.

The smile that formed on Baekhyun’s face was different from any smile he had ever given him. So many things were hidden behind it, affection, happiness,  _ pride,  _ and Chanyeol had never before felt like he did in that moment. 

“I’m so proud of you, sugar.” Baekhyun exclaimed, and before Chanyeol could say anything the singer’s hands were wrapped around his neck and he was hugging him.

Did he dare say he felt…  _ loved? _

The touch was gone as quickly as it had come, Baekhyun jumping up the moment his body came in contact with Chanyeol’s.

“Lord, you’re  _ soaked. _ ” he gasped, his wide eyes staring at Chanyeol like he hadn't noticed it before.

Chanyeol just giggled. He couldn't say he had forgotten about it but he didn't really care either. He let Baekhyun take his coat and hat off of him and ruffle his hair, muttering something about giving him a dry set of clothes, but he wasn't listening. All he could think of was Baekhyun standing so close to him, touching him, running his fingers through his hair. He felt so warm, so safe, almost like in a bubble that no one could pop.

He only noticed Baekhyun staring at him when he felt the hand leave his hair, and the look in the singer’s eyes made his heart ever so subtly skip a beat. 

“Sugar.” Baekhyun breathed, his palm flat on Chanyeol’s chest.

Chanyeol could swear he wasn't the only one feeling the change in the mood. The singer was closing the distance between their bodies, their faces so close that Chanyeol could feel his breath, and all he could do was stay frozen in place. 

“This is so important for you.” Baekhyun dared whisper when his lips were only centimeters apart from Chanyeol's, so close that with every movement it felt like they would touch, and Chanyeol wasn't sure he was breathing anymore. “I truly am…” Baekhyun’s eyes left his lips to find Chanyeol’s eyes instead, silent yet intense, making shivers run down his spine. “...so, so proud.”

A whisper against lips. A secret. A promise.

And then their lips finally touched. Passionately but slowly, desperately but savouring, Baekhyun was kissing him like it was the first and last time all together. His hands that had found his neck again were pulling him closer and closer, so close that there would be no space in between them, so close that they could become one. He wrapped his own arms around the singer’s back, holding him tight, kissing back with all he had.

_ Finally _ , that was the only thought in Chanyeol’s mind, the only word he could process in that moment. He finally had Baekhyun close to him after so long. He could finally hold him, touch him and kiss him like he had been wanting to all night and every night before. 

He didn't even realise Baekhyun had been moving forward and making him step backwards until his back hit the door - and he didn't even remember closing that door. The back of the door pressed the damp fabric of his shirt on the skin of his back, making him gasp, and the singer took it as an opportunity to deepen the kiss. Chanyeol let out something between a soft sound and a breath, and he would almost feel embarrassed if it hadn't made Baekhyun kiss him harder. 

His brain felt fuzzy. Their bodies were pressed up against each other’s, Chanyeol’s clothes drenched and sticking to him like second skin, wetting Baekhyun’s pajamas, but neither of them seemed to care enough to do something about it. 

Baekhyun pulled away suddenly, panting, close enough to still be in Chanyeol’s personal space yet not as close as he wanted him to be. Chanyeol was confused, but he was too far gone to try and read the singer’s expression. All his brain could think of was how badly he wanted to be kissing Baekhyun again.

“Sugar.” Baekhyun breathed, staring at Chanyeol seriously yet barely holding back. “Is this okay?” his voice trembled, strained, and the fuzziness in Chanyeol’s mind was suddenly gone.

He could have answered, but he took Baekhyun’s face in his hands and kissed him instead, passionate and with meaning. He could only hope that it would convey his feelings better than his words would have, could only hope that Baekhyun would finally understand just how much he wanted him.

“When will you stop asking?” he whispered against Baekhyun’s lips when he pulled away, and something changed in the singer’s eyes.

He was about to kiss him again when he felt a hand grab his own, and next thing he knew he was being pulled down the hallway and into Baekhyun’s bedroom. It took the closing of the bedroom door for Baekhyun to let go of his hand, and only then did he kiss him again. The singer kissed him so suddenly and so intensely, hands finding his hair and pulling slightly, that Chanyeol almost lost his balance. He held onto Baekhyun’s back for support, letting him lead the way until he was softly pushed to sit on the bed. 

He sat further up the bed, and Baekhyun wasted no time before climbing on top of him. They kissed some more, hands helplessly clutching each other’s clothes and bodies moving against each other, until Baekhyun pulled away. He found his jaw instead, trailing kisses down Chanyeol’s neck, his lips on every place they could touch. 

Chanyeol’s breaths were getting heavier as Baekhyun started unbuttoning his shirt, his mouth determined to cover every space that the fabric left bare with pretty colours. The last button was undone and he slightly lifted himself for the shirt to come off, the cool wind caressing his damp skin and making him shiver. He felt like he was freezing yet on fire at the same time, Baekhyun’s roaming hands slowly taking away the cold yet fueling the fire inside him. 

Baekhyun came back up to kiss him again, and Chanyeol’s hands instinctively tugged on his pajama shirt. Baekhyun broke the kiss and pulled his shirt off, basking in the way Chanyeol’s hands were instantly on him, touching, exploring, for the first time of the countless that he wished to come. 

More clothes came off as more kisses were shared, hands and lips searching and touching everywhere they could. The moonlight peaking through the window was their only source of light, but as long as they could see each other it was more than enough. 

And soon they were bare. Naked to each other’s gazes and naked to each other’s touches. With the last barrier out of the way, they were completely vulnerable, open on the outside as much as on the inside, a sight reserved for no one but each other. 

Not many words were shared as they took their time, savouring each other, taking in everything the other had to offer and giving their all in return, but they weren't needed. The soft gasps of Baekhyun’s name that left Chanyeol’s lips again and again, and the endless whispers of sugar in Chanyeol’s ears were more than enough to speak the millions of words in their hearts. 

Staring into each other’s eyes they became one, closer than ever before and as close as they could get. And in that moment no words had been needed, nothing more than the looks in their eyes, because they understood.

The end of the night found them laying in each other’s arms, holding one another as close as they could in the dark, silent promises of never letting go in their hearts. Their hearts were at peace, and yet they both lay wide awake, not wanting this moment to ever end. 

“I love you.” Baekhyun had said then, breaking the silence, looking at Chanyeol like he was the only thing he saw. “You don't have t-”

“I love you too.” Chanyeol cut him off before he could finish, leaving him breathless.  _ You don't have to say it back _ . He already knew what Baekhyun would have said, but nothing in his life had ever come off as easily as those four words.

“Say it again.” A whisper had never felt like this before.

He looked at Baekhyun and he swore all he saw was stars.

“I love you.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The music could be heard even from outside the bar, and Chanyeol couldn't help but smile. Getting out of his car, he was in front of the door in a few strides. He pushed it open, entering and letting himself revel in the familiar warmth of his favourite bar. So many voices reached his ears at the same time, every person speaking louder than the previous one to be heard, but only one stood out to him.

_ Yeah, everybody loves my baby _

_ But my baby don't love nobody but me, nobody but me _

_ Oh, everybody wants my baby _

_ But my baby don't want nobody but me, that's plain to see _

That song… Chanyeol couldn't help but feel giddy at the memories that that song brought back. 

Shaking the thoughts out of his head, he headed towards the counter, taking his usual seat and smiling at Sehun who greeted him. Ridding himself of his hat and coat, he ordered his usual whiskey, just like he had done countless times before, and it all felt so familiar.

This speakeasy had been his favourite for years, but these past few months had given it a different feeling, akin to something like home.

Once settled, his eyes were quick to find Baekhyun. The singer was playing his piano and singing in that beautiful way of his, and Chanyeol couldn't be the only one seeing how he shone brighter than everyone else in that room.

Just like all those times before, Baekhyun’s eyes found him in seconds, and yet the smile he gave him was somehow more beautiful than every previous one. Chanyeol really should start getting used to this, but his heart refused to stop jumping every time he saw the singer. He could swear that thing had a mind of its own, always acting up and embarrassing him.

He softly smiled in return, taking his drink in his hand and sitting back, taking advantage of this chance to see Baekhyun perform. It had been far too much time since he had last stared at Baekhyun while he performed, and he had almost forgotten how good he was. Almost, and that was an exaggeration because he could never forget such a thing.

Baekhyun looked the most beautiful like this. Chanyeol was sure he had had the same thought countless times before, but nothing could compare to this. He had a different kind of glow when he was singing, when he was doing what he loved and what he felt most comfortable with. And Chanyeol was truly and utterly mesmerized. 

The singer closed his eyes as he sang the last word, the song slowly coming to an end, and Chanyeol held his breath. The voices of the people around him didn't matter, and all Chanyeol could hear was the silence after the end of that song. Baekhyun opened his eyes and met his for a split second, before he turned around to say something to the band. They started a new song, but he stood up.

And then, with his gaze locked on Chanyeol, Baekhyun made his way to him. He sat on the stool next to him and smiled, just like he had done that first time, just like all those times before, and just like all the times that were to come.

“Hi sugar.”

His heart stopped for a second, and Chanyeol…

Chanyeol was helplessly in love. And so was Baekhyun.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


THE END. 


End file.
